Love Attraction Courtly Marriage PeopleNology Relationships Sexual Endearment Social Engineering Secrets Seduction Nudity

Love Biological Attraction Courtly love Erotomania Erotophobia Limerence Love Letters Marriage Personal relationship Physical intimacy Romanticism Romantic friendship Romance novel Sexual relationship Terms of endearment Valentine's Day
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.

In many cultural traditions, dates are arranged by a third party, who may be a family member, an acquaintance, or a dedicated matchmaker. Recently matchmaking services have become popular. Although dating rules in Western popular culture have become more relaxed during the 20th century, there is considerable variation between individuals' values. For example, when the activity costs money, it has traditionally been the man's role to pay (which naturally causes a problem for same-sex couples on a date); in recent times the practice of "going Dutch" (splitting the expenses) has emerged. Traditional dating activities include sharing entertainment or a meal. In general, a person may date many different partners during the same time period in order to have the best chance of finding their most suitable available mate.



Love represents a range of emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.

The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.
As an abstract concept love usually refers to a strong, ineffable feeling towards another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

Spiritual love, or longing for God, is highly valued and sought after by many religions of both Eastern and Western origin.


Interpersonal attraction (known as biological attraction in animals) is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationships.

The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of study in social psychology. In a colloquial sense, interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. Interpersonal attraction can be thought of as a force acting between two people tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation. According to a personality psychologists' view, interpersonal attraction is a person's qualities that tend to attract by appealing to another person's desires.

When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account. Repulsion is also a factor in the process of interpersonal attraction, one's conception of "attraction" to another can vary from extreme attraction to extreme repulsion.


Courtly love was a medieval European conception of ennobling love which found its genesis in the ducal and princely courts of Aquitaine, Province, Champagne and ducal Burgundy, at the end of the eleventh century. In essence, courtly love was a contradictory experience between erotic desire and spiritual attainment, "a love at once illicit and morally elevating, passionate and disciplined, humiliating and exalting, human and transcendent".

PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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The term "courtly love" was first popularized by Gaston Paris in 1883, and has since come under a wide variety of definitions and uses, even being dismissed as nineteenth-century romantic fiction. Its interpretation, origins and influences continue to be a matter of critical debate


Erotomania is a rare disorder in which a person holds a delusional belief that another person, usually of a higher social status, is in love with him or her.


Erotomania is also called de Clérambault's syndrome, after the French psychiatrist Gaëtan Gatian de Clérambault (1872–1934), who published a comprehensive review paper on the subject (Les Psychoses Passionelles) in 1921.


The term erotomania is also sometimes used in a less specific clinical sense meaning excessive pursuit of or preoccupation with love or sex (hyper sexuality). A less intense term that shares this meaning is erotolepsy, as coined by Thomas Hardy in Jude the Obscure.


Erotophobia is a term used by psychologists to describe sexuality on a personality scale. Erotophobes score high on one end of the scale that is characterized by expressions of guilt and fear about sex.

Erotophobes are less likely to talk about sex, have more negative reactions to sexually explicit material, and have sex less frequently and with fewer partners over time. In contrast, erotophiles score high on the opposite end of the scale, erotophilia, which is characterized by expressing less guilt about sex, talking about sex more openly, and holding more positive attitudes toward sexually explicit material.


Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses having intense feelings of attachment, preoccupations with the love object, and (as new research on brain chemistry shows) a similar mind-state to obsessive compulsive disorder.

According to Tennov, there are three types of love: limerence, what she calls "loving attachment" (the long-lasting love people are capable of having), and "loving affection," the bond that exists between an individual and his or her parents and children.

In her model, limerence is inherently temporary, lasting no more than three years.

It is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated.

Unlike English, many other languages have traditional terms to denote limerence, like the German Verliebtheit or Russian влюблённость (vlyublyonnost); both expressions may roughly be translated to “fallen-in-love-ness

A love letter is a romantic way to express feelings of love in written form. Sometimes sent in the mail, and increasingly by electronic mail, the letter may be anything from a short and simple message of love to a lengthy explanation of feelings.

Sometimes letters are preferable to face-to-face contact because they can be written as the thoughts come to the author. This may allow feelings to be more easily expressed than if the writer were in the beloved's presence.

Further, expressing strong emotional feelings to paper or some other permanent form can be an expression within itself of desire and the importance of the beloved and the lover's emotions. The expression of feelings may be made to an existing love or in the hope of establishing a new relationship. The increasing rarity and consequent emotional charm of personal mail may also serve to emphasize the emotional importance of the message.


Other times, especially in the past before the wide use of telecommunications, letters were one of the few ways for a couple to remain in contact. This was specially the case when one of them was posted or stationed some distance from the other.

This "being apart" often intensified emotions and many times a desired normal communication could lead to a letter expressing love, longing and desires. This was especially the case with large numbers of young men and women separated during times of wars.

Love Letters from Conflicts During these times, "love letters" were the only means of communication and soldiers even swapped addresses of desirable young ladies so that an initial communication and potential relationship could be started between them.


As with any letter, a love letter could be written in any structure or style. One historically popular method is as a sonnet or other form of poem. William Shakespeare's sonnets are often cited as good examples of how to write emotional themes. There have been published books collecting models and suggestions for love letters.

After the end of a relationship, returning love letters to the sender or burning them can symbolize the hurt felt. In the past, love letters also needed to be returned as a matter of honor: a love letter, particularly from a lady, could be compromising or embarrassing later in life.

Some stationery companies produce paper and envelopes specifically for love letters. Some of these are scented, though some people like to use their own perfume to strengthen the impact of the letter.

Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships (usually intimate and sexual) are acknowledged by the state or by religious authority. It is often viewed as a contract.

Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction. If recognized by the state, by the religion(s) to which the parties belong or by society in general, the act of marriage changes the personal and social status of the individuals who enter into it.

People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship.


Marriage may take many forms: for example, a union between one man and one woman as husband and wife is a monogamous heterosexual marriage; polygamy — in which a person takes more than one spouse — is common in many societies;

Recently, some jurisdictions and denominations have begun to recognize same-sex marriage, uniting people of the same sex.


A marriage is often formalized during a marriage ceremony,

which may be performed either by a religious officiant, by a secular State authorized officiator, or (in weddings that have no church or state affiliation) by a trusted friend of the wedding participants.

The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved and, in many societies, their extended families.


Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declares that "Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family.

They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution. Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses." The Cairo Declaration on Human Rights in Islam gives men and women the "right to marriage" regardless of their race, color or nationality, but not religion.


An interpersonal relationship is a relatively long-term association between two or more people. Such relationships may take place in the context of family, friends, marriage, acquaintances, work, neighborhoods, churches, and other social situations and organizations. Interpersonal relationships may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement.

They are the basis of social groups and society as a whole. Although humans are fundamentally social creatures, interpersonal relationships are not always healthy. Examples of unhealthy relationships include abusive relationships and codependence.


Most scholarly work on relationships focuses on romantic partners in pairs or dyads. These intimate relationships are, however, only a small subset of interpersonal relationships.

All relationships involve some level of interdependence. Therefore, anything that changes or impacts one member of the relationship will always have some level of impact on the other member(s).

The study of interpersonal relationships involves several branches of social science, including such disciplines as sociology, psychology, anthropology and social work.

PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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Physical intimacy is sensual proximity and/or touching.

It can be enjoyed by itself and/or be an expression of feelings (such as close friendship, love, and/or sexual attraction) which people have for one another. Examples of physical intimacy include being inside someone's personal space, holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing, and sexual activity.




The forms of physical intimacy, in order of increasing degree of intimacy (but not necessarily in order of increasing enjoyment), with each form generally including those preceding it, are: physical closeness, touching (especially tenderly), touching intimate parts (including outer course), and sexual penetration.


Romanticism is a complex artistic, literary, and intellectual movement that originated in the second half of the 18th century in Western Europe, and gained strength during the Industrial Revolution.

It was partly a revolt against aristocratic social and political norms of the Age of Enlightenment and a reaction against the scientific rationalization of nature, and was embodied most strongly in the visual arts, music, and literature.

The movement stressed strong emotion as a source of aesthetic experience, placing new emphasis on such emotions as trepidation, horror and awe—especially that which is experienced in confronting the sublimity of untamed nature and its picturesque qualities, both new aesthetic categories.

It elevated folk art and custom to something noble, and argued for a "natural" epistemology of human activities as conditioned by nature in the form of language, custom and usage.

Our modern sense of a romantic character is sometimes based on Byronic or Romantic ideals. Romanticism reached beyond the rational and Classicist ideal models to elevate medievalism and elements of art and narrative perceived to be authentically medieval, in an attempt to escape the confines of population growth, urban sprawl and industrialism, and it also attempted to embrace the exotic, unfamiliar and distant in modes more authentic than chinoiserie, harnessing the power of the imagination to envision and to escape.

The ideologies and events of the French Revolution, rooted in Romanticism[citation needed], affected the direction it was to take, and the confines of the Industrial Revolution also had their influence on Romanticism, which was in part an escape from modern realities; indeed, in the second half of the nineteenth century, "Realism" was offered as a polarized opposite to Romanticism. Romanticism elevated the achievements of what it perceived as misunderstood heroic individuals and artists that altered society.

It also legitimized the individual imagination as a critical authority which permitted freedom from classical notions of form in art. There was a strong recourse to historical and natural inevitability, a Zeitgeist, in the representation of its ideas.


The term romantic friendship refers to a very close but non-sexual relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that common in modern Western societies, for example holding hands, cuddling, and sharing a bed.

Up until the second half of the 19th century, same-sex romantic friendships were considered common and unremarkable in the West, and were distinguished from the then-taboo homosexual relationships.

But in the second half of the 19th century, expression of this nature became more rare as physical intimacy between non-sexual partners came to be regarded with anxiety.

Several small groups of advocates and researchers have advocated for the renewed use of the term, or the related term Boston marriage, today. Several lesbian, gay, and feminist authors (such as Lillian Fader man, Stephanie Coontz, Jaclyn Geller and Esther Rothblum

have done academic research on the topic; these authors typically favor the social constructionist view that sexual orientation is a modern, culturally constructed concept.

Historian Stephanie Coontz writes of pre-modern customs in the United States:

Perfectly respectable Victorian women wrote to each other in terms such as these: ‘I hope for you so much, and feel so eager for you… that the expectation once more to see your face again, makes me feel hot and feverish.’

They recorded the ‘furnace blast’ of their ‘passionate attachments’ to each other... They carved their initials into trees, set flowers in front of one another’s portraits, danced together, kissed, held hands, and endured intense jealousies over rivals or small slights...

Today if a woman died and her son or husband found such diaries or letters in her effects, he would probably destroy them in rage or humiliation. In the nineteenth century, these sentiments were so respectable that surviving relatives often published them in elegies....


[In the 1920s] people’s interpretation of physical contact became extraordinarily ‘privatized and sexualized,’ so that all types of touching, kissing, and holding were seen as sexual foreplay rather than accepted as ordinary means of communication that carried different meanings in different contexts...

It is not that homosexuality was acceptable before; but now a wider range of behavior opened a person up to being branded as a homosexual... The romantic friendships that had existed among many unmarried men in the nineteenth century were no longer compatible with heterosexual identity.

A romance novel is a literary genre developed in Western culture, mainly in English-speaking countries. Novels in this genre place their primary focus on the relationship and romantic love between two people, and must have an "emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending."

Through the late 20th and early 21st centuries, these novels are commercially in two main varieties: category romances, which are shorter books with a one-month shelf-life, and single-title romances, which are generally longer with a longer shelf-life. Separate from their type, a romance novel can exist within one of many subgenres, including contemporary, historical, and paranormal.


One of the earliest romance novels was Samuel Richardson's popular 1740 novel Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded, which was revolutionary on two counts: it focused almost entirely on courtship and did so entirely from the perspective of a female protagonist. In the next century, Jane Austen expanded the genre, and her Pride and Prejudice is often considered the epitome of the genre. Austen inspired Georgette Heyer, who introduced historical romances in 1921.

A decade later, British company Mills and Boon began releasing the first category romance novels. Their books were resold in North America by Harlequin Enterprises Ltd, which began direct marketing to readers and allowing mass-market merchandisers to carry the books.

The modern romance genre was born in 1972 with Avon's publication of Kathleen Woodiwiss's The Flame and the Flower, the first single-title romance novel to be published as an original paperback.

PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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The genre boomed in the 1980s, with the addition of many category romance lines and an increased number of single-title romances. Popular authors began pushing the boundaries of the genre and plots and characters began to modernize.

In North America, romance novels are the most popular genre in modern literature, comprising almost 55% of all paperback books sold in 2004. The genre is also popular in Europe and Australia, and romance novels appear in 90 languages. Most of the books, however, are written by authors from English-speaking countries, leading to an Anglo-Saxon perspective in the fiction. Despite the popularity and widespread sales of romance novels, the genre has attracted significant derision, skepticism and criticism


Generally speaking, human sexuality is how people experience and express themselves as sexual beings.

The study of human sexuality encompasses an array of social activities and an abundance of behaviors, actions, and societal topics. Biologically, sexuality can encompass sexual intercourse and sexual contact in all its forms, as well as medical concerns about the physiological or even psychological aspects of sexual behavior.

Sociologically, it can cover the cultural, political, and legal aspects; and philosophically, it can span the moral, ethical, theological, spiritual or religious aspects.
In many historical eras, recovered art and artifacts help to portray human sexuality of the time period


Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14. In the Americas and Europe, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery.

The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of "valentines." Modern Valentine symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid.

Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards.

The sending of Valentines was a fashion in nineteenth-century Great Britain, and, in 1847, Esther Howland developed a successful business in her Worcester, Massachusetts home with hand-made Valentine cards based on British models. The popularity of Valentine cards in 19th-century America was a harbinger of the future commercialization of holidays in the United States.

The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines cards are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association estimates that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.


Virtually any kind of physical touch can be seen as affectionate under the right circumstances, but common examples include: Holding hands Hugging: gently enclosing the arms around the trunk of each other or holding them against you Sitting on or lying against another person; resting one's head on the other's shoulder, lap, breast, chest, etc. Caressing (petting): gently stroking body parts or hair with a hand Tickling Massaging someone's back, legs or feet or other part. Kissing Spooning Sexual intercourse Rubbing or patting someone's belly, mostly for babies Patting the butt or swatting the back or upper arm. Tapping the legs .

An interpersonal relationship that does not involve sexual behavior, e.g. friendship, may involve affectionate touching. Friends may avoid physical intimacy to avoid associations with sexuality or emotional intimacy, in order not to appear to be in a sexual relationship. The definition of "sexual" physical intimacy varies greatly.

The connotations of different kinds of physical intimacy are largely culturally influenced. In western culture hugging is more common among women than men. In other cultures, such as Arab culture, men may hold hands with no implication of sexuality. Many East Asian cultures typically encourage relatively little body contact between friends, acquaintances, and members of the same sex. Even among family members and spouses, traditionally, there are fewer public displays of affection.

Whether a person is wearing clothing or is nude also plays a role.

hug
A cuddle party is a party where strangers cuddle, touch, caress, and massage, subject to rules such as no nudity, no hands under clothes, no French kisses and no dry humping or other sex.

Also a person, especially a child, may caress and hug a doll or stuffed animal.
In the Roman Catholic rite of the Holy Mass, immediately after the Doxology, the congregation will partake in the Pax or Rite of Peace.

In most Western churches, this involves a handshake and the words "Peace be with you." If the other party is someone known to you, a hug may be substituted. Spouses tend to hug and/or kiss each other first before using the traditional handshake and "Peace be with you" for the other surrounding members of the congregation.


Emotional intimacy is a dimension of interpersonal intimacy that varies in degree and over time, much like physical intimacy. Affect, emotion and feeling may refer to different phenomena. Emotional intimacy may refer to any or all of those in both a lay or a professional context.


Emotional intimacy can be observed in terms of verbal and non-verbal communication. The degree of comfort, effectiveness and mutual experience of closeness might indicate emotional intimacy between individuals. Intimate communication is both expressed (e.g. talking) and implied (e.g. friends sitting close on a park bench in silence). Emotional intimacy depends primarily on trust, as well as the nature of the relationship and the culture in which it is observed. Depending on the background and conventions of the participants, emotional intimacy might involve disclosing thoughts, feelings and emotions in order to reach an understanding, offer mutual support or build a sense of community. Or it might involve sharing a duty, without commentary. Compare physical intimacy, sympathy, empathy


Compassion is a profound human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering. It is often, though not inevitably, the key component in what manifests in the social context as altruism. In ethical terms,

the various expressions down the ages of the so-called Golden Rule embody by implication the principle of compassion: Do to others as you would have done to you. Ranked a great virtue in numerous philosophies, compassion is considered in all the major religious traditions as among the greatest of virtues.


To begin, many researchers distinguish feeling and emotion, where feeling refers to the subjective experience of the emotion.

Some believe that emotions can occur unconsciously, and hence that emotion is a more general phenomenon than its subjective feeling. Feelings may also more narrowly refer to the experience of bodily changes.

A second distinction focuses on the difference between the emotion and the cause of the emotion.

For example do we say that thoughts about a loved one cause the emotion of love or that these thoughts are part of the emotion? One way to resolve this issue is to see whether the emotion can occur independently of these thoughts.

Thus, thoughts about a particular person or situation could not be part of the emotion of love, since one can experience the same emotion about many other things. Yet could one experience love without some thought or other of a loved person or object?

If not, then we may stipulate that thoughts of a loved object are part of the emotion. Some theorists argue that at least some emotions can be caused without any thoughts or indeed 'cognitive activity' at all. They point to very immediate reactions (e.g. LeDoux 1996), as well as the conjectured emotions of infants and animals as justification here.

Debate on this point is ongoing but represents a major distinction between what are called 'cognitive' theories of emotions and 'non-cognitive' theories of emotions, where non-cognitive theories regard some other feature of emotions, such as bodily responses to be essential.


A related distinction is between the emotion and the results of the emotion, principally behaviors and emotional expressions.

People often behave in certain ways as a direct result of their emotional state, such as crying, fighting or fleeing. Yet again, if one can have the emotion without the corresponding behavior then we may consider the behavior not to be essential to the emotion. However some theorists such as Nico Frijda who hold a functionalist approach to emotions point to the idea that emotions have evolved for a particular function, such as to keep the subject safe.

If the behaviors associated with an emotion are the determining factor for the very existence of that emotion then goal-directed behavior should be regarded as essential to the emotion.

Yet since we recognize that the behavior need not necessarily occur, we can stipulate that emotions involve what are called 'action tendencies'. So for instance, fear involves the tendency to flee, which means that the probability that the subject will flee from a given situation is increased when he is undergoing fear


Since empathy involves understanding the emotions of other people, the way it is characterized is derivative of the way emotions themselves are characterized. If for example, emotions are taken to be centrally characterized by bodily feelings, then grasping the bodily feelings of another will be central to empathy.

On the other hand, if emotions are more centrally characterized by combinations of beliefs and desires, then grasping these beliefs and desires will be more essential to empathy.

Furthermore, a distinction should be made between deliberately imagining being another person, or being in their situation, and simply recognizing their emotion. The ability to imagine oneself as another person is a sophisticated imaginative process.
However the basic capacity to recognize emotions is probably innate and may be achieved unconsciously. Yet it can be trained, and achieved with various degrees of intensity or accuracy.

The human capacity to recognize the bodily feelings of another is related to one's imitative capacities, and seems to be grounded in the innate capacity to associate the bodily movements and facial expressions one sees in another with the proprioceptive feelings of producing those corresponding movements or expressions oneself.

Humans also seem to make the same immediate connection between the tone of voice and other vocal expressions and inner feeling. See neurological basis below.


There is some debate concerning how exactly the conscious experience (or phenomenology) of empathy should be characterized.

The basic idea is that by looking at the facial expressions or bodily movements of another, or by hearing their tone of voice, one may get an immediate sense of how they feel (as opposed to more intellectually noting the behavioral symptoms of their emotion).

Though empathic recognition is likely to involve some form of arousal in the empathizer, they may not experience this feeling as belonging to their own body, but instead likely to perceptually locate the feeling 'in' the body of the other person. Alternatively the empathizer may instead get a sense of an emotional 'atmosphere' or that the emotion belongs equally to all the parties involved.


More fully developed empathy requires more than simply recognizing another's emotional state. Since emotions are typically directed towards objects or states of affairs, the empathizer may first require some idea of what that object might be (where object can include imaginary objects, concepts, other people, or even the empathizer).

Alternatively the recognition of the feeling may precede the recognition of the object of that emotion, or even aid the empathizer in discovering the object of the other's emotion.

The empathizer may also need to determine how the emotional state affects the way in which the other perceives the object. For example, the empathizer needs to determine which aspects of the object to focus on. Hence it is often not enough that the empathizer recognize the object toward which the other is directed, plus the bodily feeling, and then simply add these components together. Rather the empathizer needs to find the way into the loop where perception of the object affects feeling and feeling affects the perception of the object.

The following sequence of examples identifies some of the major factors in empathizing with another.

PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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A public display of affection (sometimes abbreviated PDA) is the physical demonstration of affection for another person while in the view of others. For example, holding hands or kissing in public are commonly defined as public displays of affection.

(More far-reaching forms of intimacy could be considered indecent exposure).

While the term is generally considered an American term, every culture has written and unwritten rules for showing affection in public.

Individual and societal opinions on the public display of affection can vary significantly, and such displays are sometimes considered in bad taste. In some jurisdictions, the public display of affection may even be criminal.

If the partners enjoy being seen affectionate towards each other in public, it may be considered a mild form of exhibitionism. Alternatively, the partners may be indifferent to what others can see, and therefore are not inhibited by it. Finally, the partners may prefer more privacy, but may simply tolerate being seen by others.

Some may find it pleasant to view others publicly display affection, which may be considered a mild form of voyeurism.

In places that already hold a "looser" atmosphere, such as in bars, nightclubs, and strip clubs public displays of affection are rarely considered to be as objectionable (if objectionable at all). In these places acts such as grinding and French kissing are commonplace.

In many societies, public displays of affection may be tolerated even less among minority couples.

For example, gay couples could be at risk of encountering aggression from homophobic onlookers. While such public displays of affection could trigger hate violence, some gay rights advocates have used public displays of affection as a means of defiance, treating them as political acts.

For example, at McGill University, the Queer McGill organization stages "kiss-ins" in which gay couples kiss in public areas on the university's campus. In many places around the world, couples of differing race, religion, or tribe may be subject to similar intolerance


Two or more people voluntarily hold hands for one of the following reasons and purposes: in various rituals: handshake in certain religious services, to pray in various occult rituals to express friendship or love to enjoy physical intimacy (not necessarily of erotic character) for emotional support to guide (a child, a blind person, in darkness, etc.) to urge to follow to keep together (in a crowd or in darkness) to help the other walk, stand or climb up to dance to arm wrestle.
Whether friends hold hands depends on culture and gender: in the Western culture this is mainly done by women and small children.

In Arab countries, Africa and some parts of Asia it is done also by men. It is also fairly common to see teenage girls holding hands as a sign of friendship. On Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's 2007 visit of Iran he was publicly holding hands with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad


In modern Western culture, kissing is most commonly an expression of affection.

Between people of close acquaintance, a reciprocal kiss often is offered as a greeting or farewell.


This kind of kiss is typically made by brief contact of puckered lips to the skin of the cheek or no contact at all, and merely performed in the air near the cheek with the cheeks touching.

People sometimes kiss children on the forehead or cheek to comfort them or show affection, and vice versa.

As an expression of romantic affection or sexual desire in Western culture, kissing involves two people pressing their lips together with an intensity of sexual feeling. A couple may open their mouths, suck on each other's lips or move their tongues into each others' mouths (see French kiss).

Romantic or sexual kissing may also involve kissing various parts of another's body (see Foreplay) such as the neck, the ears, the breasts, the navel, the genitals, etc.

In Eastern European countries and Slavic cultures until recent times, kissing between two men on the lips as a greeting or a farewell was not uncommon and not considered sexual.

In recent years there has been a rise in eccentric shaped kissing, the most popular of which is the square kiss,

involving contorting the lips to a square pucker. Square kissing is most prominent in Glasgow and the surrounding areas.

Symbolic kissing is frequent in Western cultures.

A kiss can be "blown" to another by kissing the fingertips and then blowing the fingertips in the direction of the recipient. This is used to convey affection, usually when parting or when the partners are physically distant but can view each other. Blown kisses are also used when a person wishes to convey affection to a large crowd or audience. In written correspondence a kiss has been represented by the letter 'X' since at least 1763.

A stage or screen kiss may be performed by actually kissing, or faked by using the thumbs as a barrier for the lips and turning so the audience is unable to fully see the act.


What constitutes indecent exposure depends on the standards of decency of the community where the exposure takes place.

These standards can vary from the very strict standards of modesty imposed on women by the Taliban regime of Afghanistan, which imposed the wearing of the Burqa . In Pakistan, exposure of any part of an adult woman's body is considered indecent except for arms up to elbows, feet and head including neck; however, wearing half sleeves and keeping the head uncovered are considered liberal and modern rather than the norm.

Even within a community, what will be seen as indecent will also depend on the context in which the exposure takes place.

For example, it would be a reasonable expectation to see a naked person on a designated nude beach. However, even on that beach it may not be expected to witness explicit sexual activity. Indecent exposure is normally understood to be exposure of an adult's genitalia, but it may also involve masturbation, sexual intercourse, and the like in a public place.

The standards of decency may also vary over time. During the Victorian era, for example, exposure of a woman's legs was considered indecent in much of the Western world.

As late as the 1930s, both women and men were largely prevented from bathing or swimming in public places without wearing bathing suits that covered above the waist. An adult woman exposing her navel was also considered indecent in the West up through as late as the 1960s and 1970s.

Today, however, it is quite common for women to go topless at public beaches throughout Europe, South America, Australia and New Zealand.

What qualifies as indecent exposure varies with the authority having jurisdiction. Indecent exposure is often prohibited as a criminal offense.

For example, before the Labor Party of the United Kingdom revised the law, "indecent exposure" was defined exclusively as a man exposing his erect penis to the public.
Although the phenomenon widely known as flashing may be free from sexual motive or intent, it nonetheless requires the public exposure of the genitals and/or breasts and is therefore defined by statute in many states of the United States as prohibited criminal behavior.

The motivation of the exposure is sometimes based on it being unusual and/or inappropriate, such as when it is for fun, as a protest, or to show disrespect; the effects (including negative consequences) may be enhanced by intended or unintended publication of a photograph or film of the act.

See also mooning.
Breastfeeding does not constitute indecent exposure under the laws of the United States, Canada, Australia, or Scotland.

In the United States, the federal government and the majority of states have enacted laws specifically protecting nursing mothers from harassment by others. Legislation ranges from simply exempting breastfeeding from laws regarding indecent exposure, to outright full protection of the right to nurse.


Exhibitionism, known variously as flashing, apodysophilia and Lady Godiva syndrome, is the psychological need and pattern of behavior involving the exposure of parts of the body to another person with a tendency toward an extravagant,

usually at least partially sexually inspired behavior to attract the attention of another in an open display of bare "private parts" — i.e., parts of the human body which would otherwise be left covered under clothing in nearly all other cultural circumstances. Some researchers have claimed that telephone scat logia is a variant of exhibitionism.
A research team asked a sample of 185 exhibitionists, “How would you have preferred a person to react if you were to expose your privates to him or her?” The most common response was “Would want to have sexual intercourse” (35.1%), followed by “No reaction necessary at all” (19.5%), “To show their privates also” (15.1%), “Admiration” (14.1%), and “Any reaction” (11.9%). Only very few exhibitionists chose “Anger and disgust” (3.8%) or “Fear” (0.5).


Various types of behavior is classified as exhibitionistic. These include:

Flashing is the display by a woman of bare breasts with an up-and-down lifting of the shirt and/or bra, or the display by a man of his bare penis.
Mooning is the display of one's bare buttocks — both in a sexual, exhibitionistic context (almost always by females) and also when done (usually by men) for shock value. In Australia and New Zealand this is sometimes known as a brown eye.
Anasyrma is lifting up of one's skirt to expose bare genitals, for varied reasons, but most often to please the exhibitionist.
Martymachlia is a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to having others watch the execution of a sexual act.


Typically, the part(s) of the body exposed when referring to "flashing" are bare female breasts and/or buttocks. In theory, however, flashing and exhibitionism can also involve the genitalia or buttocks of either gender. A "male flasher" stands in stark comparison to this definition as the latter usually refers to a male indecently exposing his penis to an unwilling observer.

Usually, flashing is done as a momentary "thrill" to inflate the ego of the flasher while having the "added bonus" of increasing the sexual arousal of the recipient(s).

Exhibitionists who view exhibitionism as a lifestyle as opposed to a rare thrill, however, more carefully select their target audience and make the exposure brief, inconspicuous and apparently unintentional.

While all exhibitionism is, whether on the end of the giver or the receiver, ultimately a sexual fetish, many practitioners see it as an art form. Night clubs and Goth bars encourage mild exhibitionism to enhance the venue's atmosphere. This all contrasts with non-sexualized social nudity, in which the exposure is not connected with sexual expression, such as sunbathing or swimming at nude beaches or other participation in public nudity events where nudity is the norm.


Some exhibitionists wish to display themselves sexually to other people singly or in groups. This can be done consensually as part of swinging or group sex. When not done threateningly, the intent is usually to surprise and/or sexually arouse the viewer, giving the exhibitionist an ego rush.

Some people like to expose themselves in front of large crowds, typically at sporting events; see streaking. A similar phenomenon is when, at the conclusion of a sporting event, a woman may flash her breasts while sitting atop someone's shoulders in a dense crowd of people.

Other exhibitionists like to go beyond physical exposure and use the internet to distribute their stories and pictures on websites, sometimes using webcam feeds and other amateur methods.

A further purpose here could be to further sexually arouse the recipient by giving the impression that the exposure is "first time" and/or "innocent Voyeurism is the sexual interest in spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or urinating.

It is classified as a paraphilia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association.

The diagnosis would not be given to people who experience typical sexual arousal simply by seeing nudity or sexual activity; the aspect of spying is central to paraphilic voyeurism.

The word derives from French verb voir (to see) with the -eur suffix that translates as -er in English. A literal translation would then be “seer” or "observer", with pejorative connotations.

Also, the word voyeur can define someone who receives enjoyment from witnessing other people's suffering or misfortune

Anasyrma Candaulism Dogging (sexual slang) Human sexual behavior Human sexuality Indecent exposure List of sexology topics Mooning Reflect porn Sexual fetishism Sexually liberal feminism Sheela na Gig Streaking Voyeurism

A strip club is a nightclub or bar that offers striptease (the erotic removal of a performer's clothing) and possibly other related services such as lap dances. While usually considered much less objectionable than more explicit adult entertainment such as live sex shows, they are often the focus of morality campaigns and restrictive legislation.

High-end establishments tend to be known as "Gentlemen's Clubs". More down-market competitors may be referred to as titty bars, nipple derbies, skin bars, girly bars, or go-go bars. Sometimes, they are referred to as men's clubs (not to be confused with working men's clubs). In a bikini bar, dancers must not disrobe completely.


Performers are called strippers, exotic dancers or just dancers, or entertainers. House dancers work for a particular club or franchise.

Feature dancers tend to have their own celebrity, touring a club circuit making appearances. Porn stars will often become feature dancers to earn extra income and build their fan base. However, some dancers are simply college students or single mothers attracted by comparatively high pay.

Dancers collect tips from customers either while on stage or after the dancer has finished a stage show and is mingling with the audience. A typical tip is a dollar bill folded lengthwise and placed in the dancer's garter.


Where legal (or legal restrictions are ignored), dancers may offer additional services such as lap dances or a trip to the champagne room, for a set fee rather than a tip.

This fee will typically include a set fee for the room, for a set amount of time. usually ranging from half an hour to an hour. The fee will typically include a "complimentary" bottle of champagne.

The bottle of champagne is normally ranging in actual cost for the club, between $3–$200 depending on the brand one chooses. Also, if you elect to buy a better bottle of champagne, you may get more time in the room "on the house". These fees rarely include the cost for the dancer's time, which will always go up the more amount of time you spend in the room, regardless of how much one may spend on the bottle of champagne.

These fees also do not include, the tip for the waitress who brings the bottle, or the manager who arranges the set up in the room. Nearly every person one comes in contact with inside a strip club, that is in some way staff, is looking for or expecting a tip.

For example, on average, a single trip the champagne room, with the dancer of your choice, will range in price from $100–$2000, with the typical price being $300 for a half hour.


In the U.S., striptease dancers are generally classified as independent contractors. While a few smaller strip clubs may pay a weekly wage, for the most part all of a dancer's income is derived from tips and other fees they collect from customers.

In most clubs, dancers have to pay a "stage fee" or "house fee" in order to work a given shift, which can range from $10 to $100 or more for larger, high-end clubs. In addition, most clubs take a percentage of each private dance. It is customary—and often required in the United States—for dancers to also pay a "tip out", which is money (either a set fee or a percentage of money earned) paid to staff members of clubs, such as DJs, house moms, make-up artists, servers, bartenders, and bouncers, at the end of their shift.

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Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
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Grinding is a type of close partner dance where two or more dancers rub their bodies (especially the genitalia) against each other in a sexually suggestive manner. It is popular in the house and hip-hop dance styles.

It is often performed at nightclubs and parties that play house and hip-hop music. It has also gained popularity at high school and middle school dances across the Western world, where there have been cases of administrators attempting to ban it.

Dancing which consists mainly of grinding has also been referred to as freak dancing or freaking.

Elements of "grinding" may be seen in the 1987 movie Dirty Dancing. Lambada was a dance craze that featured grinding actions, as seen, for example, in the movies The Forbidden Dance and Lambada.

When a group of people line up to dance this style it is called a Grinding chain.
Perreo is a Reggaeton style of grinding.

A French kiss is a kiss, usually romantic or sexual in nature, in which one participant's tongue touches the other's tongue and usually enters his or her mouth.

It is also known as tongue kissing, pash, hooking up, mugging it up, making-out, macking on, necking, getting into, snog, slipping the tongue, popping tongue, sucking face, swapping spit, deep kissing, getting off with, pulling, tongue wrestling, tonsil tennis, tonsil hockey, necking, Frencher (Quebec) and frenching.

An older name for 'French kissing' is cat glottis, from cata (down), glottis (throat). In French, it is simply embracer avec la langue (literally, to kiss with the tongue) or rouler une pelle (to roll a shovel), emballer and other terms.


French kissing stimulates the lips, tongue and mouth, which are all areas very sensitive to touch, and the practice is considered to be pleasurable, highly intimate, and sexually arousing. Unlike other forms of kissing (such as brief kisses in greeting or friendship), episodes of French kissing may often be prolonged, intense, and passionate.

French kissing may occur before, during, and after vaginal intercourse, anal sex, frottage, mutual masturbation, or other sexual activity and before, during, and after orgasm. Because of its potential for arousing sexual feelings in bystanders, (or outrage, amusement, derision, or disgust) and because of its strong association as a prelude to sex,

'French kissing' as a public display of affection is typically discouraged in most parts of the world, particularly for an extended time.
Studying animal behavior, Thierry Lodé

, an evolutionary biologist, argues that the French kiss has a real function: to explore the sexual partner's immune system via the saliva. Initiating the sexual desire, the French kiss allows the partners to avoid inbreeding (see also sexual conflict).


The exchange of saliva in a French kiss may increase the chances of catching an orally transmitted disease such as Infectious mononucleosis (American: Mononucleosis or, colloquially, "mono"; European: glandular fever).


Homosexuality refers to sexual behavior with or attraction to people of the same sex, or to a homosexual orientation. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality refers to "having sexual and romantic attraction primarily or exclusively to members of one’s own sex"; "it also refers to an individual’s sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviors expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them."

Homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality together make up the three main classifications of sexual orientation and are the factors in the Heterosexual-homosexual continuum. The exact proportion of the population that is homosexual is difficult to estimate reliably, but most recent studies place it at 2–7%.

Sexual orientation is also distinguished from other aspects of sexuality, "including biological sex (the anatomical, physiological, and genetic characteristics associated with being male or female), gender identity (the psychological sense of being male, female or other), and social gender role (adherence to cultural norms defining feminine and masculine behavior)."

Etymologically, the word homosexual is a Greek and Latin hybrid with homos (sometimes confused with the later Latin meaning of "man", as in Homo sapiens) deriving from the Greek word for same, thus connoting sexual acts and affections between members of the same sex, including lesbianism.

The word gay generally refers to male homosexuality, but is sometimes used in a broader sense, especially in the me, to refer to homosexuality in general. In the context of sexuality, the word lesbian always denotes female homosexuality.


There is much evidence of both acceptance and repression of homosexual behavior throughout recorded history. During the last several decades, there has been a trend towards increased visibility, recognition, and legal rights for homosexuals, including marriage and civil unions, parenting rights, and equal access to health care.










Online dating: Instead of using a traditional matchmaker, online dating uses specifically targeted websites to meet new people. Speed dating: Where a group of people get together for several hours in a public place to get to know one another better.

At one of these speed dating events, each person usually sits with another single member for a set period of time to get to know them better, and then at the predetermined time is asked to move and sit with someone else to repeat the process.

Mobile dating/cell phone dating: Where text messages to and from a mobile/cell phone carrier are used to show interest in others on the system. Can be web-based or online dating as well depending on the company. Virtual dating: A combination of video game playing and dating, where users create avatars and spend time in virtual worlds in an attempt to meet other avatars with the purpose of meeting for potential dates. Singles events:

Where a group of singles are brought together to take part in various events for the purposes of meeting new people. Events can include such things as parties, workshops and games


Anonymous matching is a matchmaking method facilitated by computer databases, in which each user confidentially selects people they are interested in dating and the computer identifies and reports matches to pairs of users who share a mutual attraction.

The purpose is to allow people to initiate romantic relationships while avoiding the risk of embarrassment, awkwardness, and other negative consequences associated with unwanted romantic overtures and rejection. The general concept was patented on September 7, 1999 by David J. Blumberg and DoYouDo chief executive officer Gil S. Sudai, but several websites were already employing the methodology by that date, and thus apparently were allowed to continue using it


. United States Patent 5,950,200 points out several potential flaws in traditional courtship and in conventional dating systems in which strangers meet online, promoting anonymous matching of friends and acquaintances as a better alternative: Human relationships are often fraught with difficulties. In addition, human beings are risk-adverse.

Often, even when two people want to initiate first steps in a relationship, neither person takes action because of shyness, fear of rejection, or other societal pressures or constraints. Various systems exist that help people meet each other. For example, computer dating services allow people to view video tapes or pictures of prospective partners or to choose common areas of hobbies.

Two people are introduced only if both agree with the idea. Unfortunately, in such situations, neither person has actually met the other when they are finally introduced.

Neither person has ever met the other, and there is a certain amount of shyness and fear of rejection when they first meet in such a situation. In addition, both persons must initially approach the dating service. For some people, such an action can also be embarrassing. What is needed is a safe, simple, confidential, and non-judgmental way for people to reveal their true feelings and interests without risk of embarrassment or rejection


A blind date is a date where the people involved have not met each other previously. The match could have been arranged by mutual friends or by a dating system.

Blind dates are becoming more commonplace following the rise of the Internet, when people who have met in chat rooms, Instant Messaging or forums finally agree to meet in person. Afterwards, they go to a place where they can have time to talk and get to know one another.

Dating coaches advise people meeting on a blind date to avoid a restaurant for the first meeting. They encourage a location such as a botanical garden, art gallery, park, promenade or an open-air concert -- any location that gives the couple the opportunity to talk, move around and provides something interesting to refer to during awkward silences.

Another recommendation is to engage in "airplane talk" -- casual conversation about each other's backgrounds, hobbies, interests and careers (don't dwell on any one subject for too long), and other topics that tell something about each other -- but don't reveal information that should be reserved for someone you know well.

Some conversation starters - conversation that will help each one learn a little bit about each other's values and way of thinking, and will also form the basis for more conversation on the second date:

Who do you most admire? How did they inspire you? What has been the most satisfying achievement of your life? Is there something you've always dreamt about doing? What is your most treasured possession, and why?


A box social in the United States is a form of fundraiser, wherein donated lunch boxes are auctioned off for a cause (often a civic, church, or school charity).

Usually a woman creates a lunch, which is then auctioned off. Varying somewhat, the custom was for the person who had prepared or donated the box lunch to go on a date with the person who won the lunch with the highest bid, or at the event sit with that person and share the lunch.

In the U.S. state of Vermont the tradition is that women decorate a cardboard box, fill it with a lunch or dinner for two, and the men bid on the boxes anticipating a meal with the woman who brought the box.

The event frequently takes place in a town hall, school gymnasium, or church hall. The bidding involves competition, and a fair bit of joking and teasing.

The practice had fallen out of favor with young people in the 1970s–1990s, but has seen some resurgence in recent years. The rules today have become less rigid, men now provide boxes as well, but the goal remains the same: raising money for a school, church, or civic project

Childhood sweetheart - is a reciprocating phrase for a relationship (but not a partnership) between young persons, traditionally of the opposite sex (Girlfriend / Boyfriend) occurring in their formative years (school age). This may come about by an extension of friendship, physical attraction or develop from natural affinity.


The relationship is usually platonic and lasts a short to medium period of time. This experience forms the basis of subsequent future relationships later in childhood and/or adulthood.

Usually, an individual will have up to only one childhood sweetheart as this term is indicative of a milestone in the growth, development and maturity of a young person. In ideal circumstances, the term applies mutually to both parties and corresponds both ways, hence the plural being childhood sweethearts.

The relationship may involve romantic love or may be an extension of a close friendship. Often, intimacy by way of kissing will occur in order to show affection. This is in addition to hugging / cuddling, holding hands, etc. The term first love may also apply in certain situations.

Occasionally in later years, these friendships are 'rekindled' following separations or passing of their adult partners which lead to a later life marriage, union etc. These instances are notable as they are made popular by media coverage.


Courtship is the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. During a courtship, a couple dates to get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement. Usually courtship is a public affair, done in public and with family approval.

It includes activities such as dating where couple go together for a dinner, a movie, dance parties, a picnic, shopping or general "hanging out", along with other forms of activity.

Acts such as meeting on the internet or virtual dating, chatting on-line, sending text messages or picture messages, conversing over the telephone, writing each other letters, and sending each other flowers, songs, and gifts constitute wooing.

The term "date rape" refers to the non-consensual sexual activity between people who are known to each other either platonically or sexually. These particular instances of sexual assault take place during a social interaction between the rapist and the victim, hence the name date rape.

It may be planned or spontaneous. The majority of young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance.

Drug facilitated rape
In some cases, "date rape drugs" such as GHB flunitrazepam , temazepam, midazolam, and ketamine may be used to neutralize resistance or render the victim unconscious. Such drugs will usually also affect memory of the event.

Alcohol remains the drug most frequently implicated in substance-assisted sexual assault. Memory loss of the event can lead to an inability to later prosecute as the victim will not remember the exact circumstances of the attack. As such, date rape is difficult to prove in most judicial systems.

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Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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Amnesia can be a side-effect of benzodiazepines and can be utilized in a therapeutic setting to reduce unpleasant memories from investigatory medical procedures, e.g., endoscopies. All benzodiazepines can be used as date-rape drugs, but flunitrazepam (Rohypnol), clonazepam (Klonopin), midazolam (Versed), and temazepam (Restoril) are the most commonly used.

Dating Do's and Don'ts is a 1949 instructional film designed for high schools, to teach adolescents basic dating skills, produced by Coronet Instructional Films and directed by Gilbert Altschul with the assistance of Reuben Hill, Research Professor of Family Life at the University of North Carolina. In this film, the boy is the sole initiator of any contact with the girl, and all arrangements are made under the warm supervision of the family, particularly a matriarchal housewife for a mother.

The film follows a young adolescent boy, Woody, who receives tickets for "one couple" to the Hi Teen Carnival. At different stages in the film, it offers options on how Woody might respond to various situations:

What kind of girl should he date?

How should he ask her out?

How should he say good night after the date is over?

The film then shows three options, for each opportunity, ending with what it deems the most successful.

This allows the filmmakers to create an idealized scenario for a perfect first date. Woody is cautioned not to ask a girl out based on her looks as she could be aloof or boring. Instead he should ask a girl who is "fun."

He is similarly told to be straightforward and not to insist that his potential date give up some other activity for him. Finally, the film depicts the perceived danger of immediately kissing the girl good night, or of just leaving her at her door, and instead urges the viewers to say a friendly goodbye, ending with a promise to call next week.

As Woody prepares for his date with Anne, he receives hints from his older brother, who is already an expert at dating; for instance, Woody's brother tells Woody to act like his "natural, talkative self" while on the phone, and says that Woody does not have to bring Anne flowers on her first date.

e also convinces their mother to allow Woody to go on his first date even though he is young, with her adding that it would be acceptable provided that Woody only dates on weekends and comes home at a reasonable hour. As Woody prepares for his date, his mother and father reflect on their own first dates to remind Woody how important it is for him to show up on time. His mother adds that any girl who is not ready for him on time is not worthy of going out with "my boy."


Sex education may also be described as "sexuality education," which means that it encompasses education about all aspects of sexuality, including information about family planning, reproduction (fertilization, conception and development of the embryo and fetus, through to childbirth), plus information about all aspects of one's sexuality including: body image, sexual orientation, sexual pleasure, values, decision making, communication, dating, relationships, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and how to avoid them, and birth control methods.


Sex education may be taught informally, such as when someone receives information from a conversation with a parent, friend, religious leader, or through the media. It may also be delivered through sex self-help authors, magazine advice columnists, sex columnists, or through sex education web sites. Formal sex education occurs when schools or health care providers offer sex education.


Sometimes formal sex education is taught as a full course as part of the curriculum in junior high school or high school. Other times it is only one unit within a more broad health class, home economics class, or physical education class.

Some schools offer no sex education, since it remains a controversial issue in several countries, particularly the United States (especially with regard to the age at which children should start receiving such education, the amount of detail that is revealed, and topics dealing with human sexual behavior, eg. safe sex practices, masturbation, premarital sex, and sexual ethics).

In 1936, Wilhelm Reich commented that sex education of his time was a work of deception, focusing on biology while concealing excitement-arousal, which is what a pubescent individual is mostly interested in. Reich added that this emphasis obscures what he believed to be a basic psychological principle: that all worries and difficulties originate from unsatisfied sexual impulses.

When sex education is contentiously debated, the chief controversial points are whether covering child sexuality is valuable or detrimental; the use of birth control such as condoms and hormonal contraception; and the impact of such use on pregnancy outside marriage, teenage pregnancy, and the transmission of STIs. Increasing support for abstinence-only sex education by conservative groups has been one of the primary causes of this controversy. Countries with conservative attitudes towards sex education (including the UK and the U.S.) have a higher incidence of STIs and teenage pregnancy.


The existence of AIDS has given a new sense of urgency to the topic of sex education. In many African nations, where AIDS is at epidemic levels (see HIV/AIDS in Africa), sex education is seen by most scientists as a vital public health strategy.

Some international organizations such as Planned Parenthood consider that broad sex education programs have global benefits, such as controlling the risk of overpopulation and the advancement of women's rights (see also reproductive rights).


According to SIECUS, the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, 93% of adults they surveyed support sexuality education in high school and 84% support it in junior high school.

In fact, 88% of parents of junior high school students and 80% of parents of high school students believe that sex education in school makes it easier for them to talk to their adolescents about sex.

Also, 92% of adolescents report that they want both to talk to their parents about sex and to have comprehensive in-school sex education


Sexual ethics is a category of ethics that pertain to acts falling within the broad spectrum of human sexual behavior, sexual intercourse in particular.

Broadly speaking questions of sexual ethics can be organized into issues related to consent, issues related to the institution of marriage such as marital fidelity and premarital and non-marital sex, issues related to sexuality, questions about how gender and power are expressed through sexual behavior, questions about how individuals relate to society, and questions about how individual behavior impacts public health concerns.

Ethical dilemmas which involve sex can often appear in situations where there is a significant power difference or where there is a pre-existing professional relationship between the participants, or where consent is partial or uncertain.

Sexual ethics can also include the ethics of procreation: "is it ethical to create a child in an overpopulated world?", "Is it ethical to have children if they would be born into poverty


Adultery is the voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and another person who is not his or her spouse, though in many places it is only considered adultery when a married woman has sexual relations with someone who is not her husband. In most cases, in western countries, only the married party is said to have committed adultery, and if both parties are married (but not to each other) then they both commit separate acts of adultery. In other countries, both parties to the adultery are considered guilty, while in others again only the woman is able to commit adultery and to be considered guilty.

Adultery is also referred to as extramarital sex, philandary or infidelity but does not include fornication. The term "adultery" for many people carries a moral or religious association, while the term "extramarital sex" is morally or judgmentally neutral.

The interaction between laws on adultery with those on rape has and does pose particular problems in societies which are especially sensitive to sexual relations by a married woman, such as some Muslim countries.

The difference between the offenses is that adultery is voluntary, while rape is not. If a woman claims that she has been raped, and the offense cannot be proved, then a conclusion that the sexual relations were voluntary may be drawn, and the consequences of adultery may result, including an honor killing. In those circumstances, a woman victim would be reluctant to report a rape against her.

The term adultery has a Judeo-Christian origin, though the concept of marital fidelity predates Judaism and is found in many other societies. Though the definition and consequences vary between religions, cultures and legal jurisdictions, the concept is similar in Judaism, Christianity and Islam, and Hinduism has a similar concept. But the word should be used cautiously when discussing various cultures, some of which permit less permanent forms of marriage, or even sexual "lending".

Historically, adultery has been considered to be a serious offense by many cultures. In some countries, adultery is a crime. However, even in jurisdictions where adultery is not itself a criminal offense, it may still have legal consequences, particularly in divorce cases. For example it may constitute grounds for divorce, it may be a factor to consider in a property settlement, it may affect the status of children, the custody of children, etc. Moreover adultery can result in social ostracism in some parts of the world.

It has been claimed that adultery results from a mental disorder.


Whether correct or not, adultery is common. Three recent studies in the United States, using nationally representative samples, have found that about 10-15% of women and 20-25% of men had engaged in extramarital sex.


An affair may refer to a form of nonmonogamy, to infidelity or to adultery. Where an affair lacks both overt and covert sexual behavior and yet exhibits intense or enduring emotional intimacy it is called an emotional affair. 'Affair' may be used as a euphemism and in some cases to add glamour to an illicit liaison or it may be used to slander.

Affair has the same word origins as affect — an affair implies bonds of affection, but not necessarily so. Some affairs are premeditatively cold, exploitative or designed to extract information or to provide the basis for later blackmail or grounds for divorce.

In the most general sense, affair may be used to connote professional, personal, or public business. These include meetings or other functions, or tasks that need to be completed. For example, one might say, "I have other affairs to attend to at the moment." It may also refer to a particular business or private activity, as in family affair or private affair.

An affair, in the political sense, typically refers to any kind of involvement in illicit business by any kind of public representatives, such as in the Watergate affair. Like the earlier definition this is not always the case — for example the British Government has a Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, which is a perfectly legitimate (and usually honorable) position


Some have argued that the widespread occurrence of extramarital affairs is polygamy by stealth. These are relationships where an illicit sexual, romantic relationship or a romantic friendship, passionate attachment occurs alongside a monogamous relationship.

Those extramarital affairs that continue in one form or another for decades, even as one of the partners to that affair passes through a marriage, divorce and remarriage. Over that length of time one could consider the affair the primary relationship and the marriages secondary to it — a case of serial polygamy or other forms of nonmonogamy.

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Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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The ability to pursue serial affairs or marriages in this way whilst safeguarding the conflict of interest inherent in the practice, requires considerable skill in deception and negotiation.

Deception is the "covert manipulation of perception to alter thoughts, feeling, or beliefs". It points to the degree to which the deceiver may breach fundamental conditions of fidelity, reciprocal vulnerability and transparency assumed as pre-conditions of committed intimate relationships.

Affair is not only used to describe cheating but may also describe part of an agreement referred to as open marriage, which sanctions some extramarital affairs and not others. When one of the non-sanctioned affairs occurs it is described as infidelity and often experienced as a betrayal both of trust and integrity.

Affairs are sometimes accompanied by scandal. When used in this context, "affair" usually implies sexual impropriety, but that is not necessarily the case. For example, in the classic film An Affair to Remember, the love affair in question might be considered acceptable from some moral standpoints. However, an emotional affair can be as devastating for the one who is excluded or betrayed by it as if a full sexual liaison had occurred. By contrast the film Dangerous Liaisons shows many sides to a culture of illicit affairs between the main characters. It explores the escalating costs of covert and immoral adventures.

The linkage of sex and romance with affair provides the basis for entertainment in advertising, art, literature, film, plays and in TV soaps. It can fuel crusades against monogamy or promoting the value of monogamy.



The term concubine generally signifies ongoing, quasi-matrimonial relationships where the woman is of lower social status than the man or the official wife or wives. Some historical Asian and European rulers maintained concubines as well as wives.

Historically, concubinage was frequently voluntary (by the girl and/or her family's arrangement), as it provided a measure of economic security for the woman involved. Involuntary, or servile, concubinage sometimes involves sexual slavery of one member of the relationship, typically the woman, being a pleasure slave to the man.

Where it has a legal status, as in ancient Rome, and in ancient China, concubinage is akin, although inferior, to marriage. In opposition to those laws, traditional Western laws do not acknowledge the legal status of concubines, but rather only admit monogamous marriages. Any other relationship does not enjoy legal protection; the woman is essentially a mistress.



"Cuckold" is derived from the Old French for the Cuckoo bird, "Cocu" with the pejorative suffix -ald. The earliest written use of the Middle English derivation, “cokewold” occurs in 1250. The females of certain varieties of Cuckoo lay their eggs in other bird’s nests, freeing themselves from the need to nurture the eggs to hatching. In medieval Europe, the law, custom, and the church all defined married women as a category of property held by their husbands. Although Christian marriage vows strictly enjoined sexual exclusivity in a marriage for both partners, custom rarely enforced it on the husband (although Catholic doctrine holds infidelity by either party to be a mortal sin).

A nuance of the word often overlooked in contemporary usage is that it refers to a man who, like the bird warming the cuckoo’s eggs, is unaware of his victimization. A man who knows and acquiesced, in his wife’s taking of another lover was called a wittol, itself a derivation from the Middle English for "witting (as in knowing) cuckold."

Cuckolds have sometimes been written as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns." This refers to the fact that the man being cuckolded is the last to know of his wife's infidelity.

He is wearing horns that can be seen by everybody but him. This also refers to a tradition claiming that in villages of unknown European location, the community would gather to collectively humiliate a man whose wife gives birth to a child recognizably not his own. According to this legend, a parade was held in which the hapless husband is forced to wear antlers on his head as a symbol of his wife’s infidelity. Whether this did actually happen or not is irrelevant to the phrase, which survived.


The authors define the term slut as "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you."

The term is reclaimed from its usual use as a pejorative and as a simple label for a promiscuous person. Instead, it is used to signify a person who is accepting of their enjoyment of sex and the pleasure of intimacy with others, and chooses to engage and accept these in an ethical and open way — rather than as cheating.

The Ethical Slut discusses how to live an active life with multiple concurrent sexual relationships in a fair and honest way. Discussion topics include how to deal with the practical difficulties and opportunities in finding and keeping partners, maintaining relationships with others, and strategies for personal growth.

It contains chapters discussing how consensual nonmonogamy is handled in different subcultures such as the gay and lesbian communities, information on handling scheduling, jealousy, communication, conflict in relationships, and etiquette for group sexual encounters.


Nonmonogamy is a blanket term covering several different types of interpersonal relationship in which some or all participants have multiple marital, sexual, and/or romantic partners. This can be contrasted with its opposite which is monogamy and yet may arise from the same Psychology of Monogamy.

Forms of nonmonogamy include:
consensual nonmonogamy, in which a nonmonogamous relationship is formed by mutual consent of those involved
casual relationship a physical and emotional relationship between two unmarried people who may have a sexual relationship
group marriage (also termed polygynandry), in which several people form a single family unit, with all considered to be married to one another
group sex and orgies involving more than two participants at the same time
infidelity, such as an affair, in which one participant fails to comply with expectations of a relationship.
Line families, a form of group marriage intended to outlive its original members by ongoing addition of new spouses
ménage à trios, a sexual (or sometimes domestic) arrangement involving three people
plural marriage, a form of polygyny associated with the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the 19th-century and with present-day splinter groups from that faith. It is also associated with an evangelical splinter group which advocates Christian Plural Marriage
polyamory, in which participants have multiple romantic partners
polyandry, in which women have multiple husbands
PolyFamilies, similar to group marriage, but some members may not consider themselves married to all other members
polyfidelity, in which participants have multiple partners but restrict sexual activity to within a certain group
polygamy, a term encompassing both polygyny and polyandry
polygyny, in which men have multiple wives
open marriage and open relationships, in which one or both members of a committed couple may become sexually active with other partners
swinging, similar to open relationships, but commonly conducted as an organized social activity

As can be seen from this list, the Greek prefix 'poly-' (meaning 'many') is often used in naming nonmonogamous forms of relationship. In informal use such names are sometimes abbreviated to just 'poly', with the rest indicated by context.

Many nonmonogamous terms are flexible in definition, because they are based on criteria such as 'relationship' or 'love' that are themselves variably defined; see discussions at their respective pages for more detail on individual forms. In addition, usage creates distinctions beyond the raw definitions of the words.

Thus, even though some relationships might technically be considered both polygamous and polyamorous, 'polygamy' usually signifies a codified form of multiple marriage, based on established religious teachings, while 'polyamory' is based on the preferences of the participants rather than social custom or established precedent.


Fornication, or simple fornication, is a term which refers to voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married to each other.

The origin of the word derives from Latin. The word for nix means "an archway" or "vault" (in Rome, prostitutes could be solicited there). More directly, fornicatio means "done in the archway"; thus a euphemism for prostitution.

Fornication is dealt with differently in various religions, societies and cultures.




Group sex may involve three or more people of any gender or sexual orientation. The events themselves may be characterized by sex; for example, a straight group sex session would involve only heterosexual sex. Some venues for group sex may be intended for a particular group or groups of people.

Different types of group sex may or may not involve switching partners. Some sex clubs, for example, require entrants to come in pairs and do not typically involve actual physical contact between people in different pairs. Group sex may involve a specific set of sexual activities; for example, some involve BDSM, while "vanilla" group sex does not.

In many cultures, public intercourse is considered taboo and is illegal (see indecent exposure); many groups also frown upon sex that is not monogamous. Group sex often takes place in private or clandestine locations, including homes, hotel rooms, unpopulated areas like forests, abandoned buildings, or private clubs. Sex clubs are often open to members only, while less formal locations (truck stops, wooded areas) may be semi-secret.

Group sex also sometimes takes place in nightclubs, bathhouses, massage parlors, or bars, although such places (particularly those frequented by sexual minorities such as gays or lesbians in countries intolerant of homosexuality are sometimes subject to legal repercussions. Group sex may be a part of other social activities such as parties, although some venues such as gay bathhouses tend to eschew talking.

The possibility for awkwardness among friends, significant others, or strangers at group sex is often cited as a problem with them, particularly in relatively spontaneous incidents of group sex such as drunken group sex among friends. Among heterosexuals, the relative availability of men and women is also a concern for participants, as social stigma or other factors structures the extent to which many men or women feel comfortable being promiscuous.

In spite of (or due to) the stigma against group sex, participation in group sex is a common fantasy, although regular participation in group sex remains uncommon in most cultures.


The incidence of monogamy refers to the frequency with which monogamy occurs.
This article deals with the incidence of monogamy in human beings.

A large majority of human beings around the world enter socially monogamous relationships at some point in their lives. Most people who enter socially monogamous relationships remain sexually monogamous for the duration of the relationship. However, the amount of sexual monogamy varies across cultures, and women tend to be more sexually monogamous than men. Genetic monogamy also varies across cultures.

Infidelity can be defined as any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, and is a breach of faith in an inter-personal relationship.

Sexual infidelity in marriage is sometimes called adultery, philandery or an affair and in other inter-personal relationships it is sometimes called cheating. A man whose wife has committed adultery is referred to as a cuckold, but no equivalent word exists for a woman whose partner has cheated.

Infidelity is not inherently sexual nature, although certain acts of infidelity could be sexual.

PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
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What constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures and depends also on the type of relationship that exists between people. Even within an open relationship, infidelity may arise if a partner to the relationship acts outside of the understood boundaries of the relationship.

A mistress is a man's long term female sexual partner and companion who is not married to him, especially used when the man is married to another woman.

The relationship is generally stable and at least semi-permanent; however, the couple do not live together openly. Also, the relationship is usually but not always secret, and there is the implication that a mistress may be "kept", i.e. that the man is paying for some of the woman's living expenses, or provides her with an allowance.

The term can also be used to describe the "other" companion in a female same-sex marriage. Likewise, a woman may be married to a man and have a mistress of her own.

Unlike a concubine, a mistress has no legal relationship to the man.

There is no specific word in English for a "male mistress", a man in the same relationship to a woman as a mistress is to a man, except for the more general term "lover", which does not carry the same implications.

"Paramour" is sometimes used, but this term can apply to either partner in an illicit relationship, so it is not exclusively male. In 18th- and 19th-century Venice the terms "cicisbeo" and "cavalier servente" were used to describe a man who was the professed gallant and lover of a married woman.


Historically, the term has denoted a kept woman, who was maintained in a comfortable (or even lavish) lifestyle by a wealthy man so that she will be available for his sexual pleasure. Such a woman could move between the roles of a mistress and a courtesan depending on her situation and environment. Today however, the word mistress is used primarily to refer to the female companion of a man who is married to another woman; in the case of an unmarried man it is usual to speak of a "girlfriend" or "partner."


Historically a man "kept" a mistress. As the term implies, he was responsible for her debts and provided for her in much the same way as he did his wife, although not legally bound to do so. In more recent and emancipated times, it is more likely that the mistress has a job of her own, and is less, if at all, financially dependent on the man.


A mistress is not a prostitute. While a mistress, if "kept", may essentially be exchanging sex for money, the principal difference is that a mistress keeps herself exclusively reserved for one man, in much the same way as a wife, and there is not so much of a direct quid pro quo between the money and the sex act. There is also usually an emotional and possibly social relationship between a man and his mistress, whereas the relationship to a prostitute is predominantly sexual.


Affinity · Attachment · Bonding · Boyfriend · Casual · Cohabitation · Compersion · Concubinage · Consort · Courtesan · Courtship · Divorce · Domestic partnership · Dower / Dowry / Bride price · Family · Friendship · Girlfriend · Husband · Infatuation · Intimacy · Jealousy · Limerence · Love · Marriage · Monogamy · Psychology of monogamy · Serial monogamy · Nonmonogamy · Passion · Pederasty · Platonic love · Polyamory · Polyfidelity · Polygamy · Relationship abuse · Relationship breakup · Romance · Romantic friendship · Separation · Sexuality · Same-sex relationship · Significant other · Soul mate · Teen dating violence · Wedding · Widowhood · Wife


Monica Lewinsky alleged nine sexual encounters with Bill Clinton:
November 15, 1995, in the private study off the Oval office
November 17, 1995, while Bill Clinton was on the phone with a member of Congress
December 31, 1995, in a White House study
January 7, 1996, in the Oval Office
January 21, 1996, in the hallway by the private study next to the Oval Office
February 4, 1996, while Clinton was meeting in Oval Office
March 31, 1996
February 28, 1997, near the Oval Office; this is when the blue dress stains were created
March 29, 1997 (Clinton denied that this day's encounter actually happened)
Hillary Rodham Clinton was in the White House on a half dozen days when her husband had sexual encounters with Monica Lewinsky, according to the first lady's calendars released Wednesday. A look at her schedule on days when Lewinsky said she had sexual encounters with Bill Clinton:
_Nov. 15, 1995: The first lady was in a mid-afternoon "meet & greet" photo opportunity at the White House with various Nobel Laureates and their families. That night, Lewinsky had what she later said was her first sexual encounter with the president in the private study off the Oval office.
_Nov. 17, 1995: Mrs. Clinton had no public schedule and was at the White House. That night, Lewinsky said she had a sexual encounter with the president while he was on the phone in the White House with a member of Congress.
_Dec. 31, 1995: Mrs. Clinton had no public schedule and her calendar does not show her location. That afternoon, Lewinsky said she and the president had a sexual encounter in a study in the White House.
_Jan. 7, 1996: On a Sunday afternoon, Lewinsky and the president spent most of the afternoon in the Oval Office. The first lady and the president had a small dinner with 20 people at "the Old Family Dining Room" at the White House.
_Jan. 21, 1996: The first lady had no public schedule, but she and the president privately toured an exhibit at the National Gallery of Art. Lewinsky and the president had an afternoon sexual encounter in the hallway by the private study next to the Oval Office, Lewinsky said later.
_Feb. 4, 1996: Mrs. Clinton and the president attended the National Governor's Association annual dinner. Lewinsky said she and the president that day had a sexual encounter and their first lengthy and personal conversation.
_March 31, 1996: Mrs. Clinton toured an archaeological site and museum in Delphi, Greece, and watched a folk dance performance. That day, Lewinsky said she and the president resumed their sexual contact.
_Feb. 28, 1997: The schedule shows Mrs. Clinton was in the White House at least part of the day, when President Clinton and Lewinsky had oral sex near the Oval Office, leaving stains on her dress. There were no public events, but the schedule shows Mrs. Clinton had "drop by" events or meetings in the Map Room and Diplomatic Reception Room between 11 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. The schedule also lists plays and a concert that night, but it is not clear whether Mrs. Clinton attended.
_March 29, 1997: On the day when Lewinsky told independent counsel Kenneth Starr that she had her final sexual encounter with the president, Mrs. Clinton was thousands of miles away in Eritrea. In his grand jury testimony, the president denied this encounter. The first lady that day toured the Martyrs' Cemetery in Eritrea, where she participated in a wreath-laying ceremony and a tree planting. She also visited a health care clinic, spoke to villagers, and toured a polio vaccination room. She visited a woodworking center, held a round-table discussion with the National Union of Eritrean Women and met the country's president.

An "emotional affair" is an affair excluding sexual intimacy but including emotional intimacy. It may be a type of chaste nonmonogamy, one without consummation. When the affair breaches a monogamous agreement with one or another spouse the term infidelity may be more apt. Infidelity tends to exclude one or both spouses of the affair's partners. Citing the absence of any sexual activity can neutralize the sense of extramarital wrongdoing by one or both partners of an emotional affair.
Emotional affairs can be portrayed in fictional writing or drama as life changing experiences (good or bad), subjects of racy romance stories that teeter on the edge. However, they can also be catastrophic for all concerned when it is clandestine, unsanctioned and unintentionally exposed.
Sometimes an emotional affair injures a committed relationship more than if it were a one night stand or about casual sex. The initial interpersonal attraction may have been the result of propinquity (physical or psychological proximity), physical attraction or a perceived lack of interpersonal chemistry in the primary relationship.
David Moultrup has broadly defined an extramarital affair as
a relationship between a person and someone other than (their) spouse (or lover) that has an impact on the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage. The role of an affair is to create emotional distance in the marriage. The critical principle to consider is the possibility of unconscious emotional benefits gained by the uninvolved spouse. The goal of therapy is to resolve the intimacy problems in the couple relationship so that an affair will no longer be 'needed.' This model does not consider the possibility of accidental affairs nor those that arise out of individual pathology or habit rather than relationship difficulties.
This viewpoint does not require sexual play or sexual intercourse in order to define the presence of nor the impact of an affair on a committed relationship. Moultrup is the author of 'Husbands, Wives & Lovers' and has contributed to 'The Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity'


Chaste and emotionally intimate affairs tend to be more common than sexually intimate affairs. Shirley Glass in her study, reported in 'Not Just Friends' 'that 44% of husbands and 57% of wives indicated that in their affair they had a strong emotional involvement to the other person without intercourse.'

In University of Chicago surveys conducted by NORC between 1990 and 2002, 27% of people who reported being happy in marriage admitted to having an extramarital affair. What infidelity means depends on who you ask and the statistics are of course,

misleading. Sexual feelings in an emotional affair are necessarily denied in order to maintain the illusion that it is just a special friendship. Affair surveys are unlikely to explore what is denied. Many people in affair surveys are not honest with themselves nor with the interviewer .

On the romantic friendship page there are a number of 'special friendships' in popular culture. Each is an example of one form of human bonding or another. Some can be distinguished from emotional affairs by the absence of an apparent third party or spouse. Each may be synonymous with platonic love or spiritual friendship. Some may exist alongside or in support of a spiritual marriage, a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience. Any of those terms may just be a cover for what is hidden from public gaze.


This type of affair is often characterized by:
Inappropriate emotional intimacy. The partner being unfaithful may spend inappropriate or excessive time with someone of the opposite or same gender (time not shared with the faithful partner). He or she may confide more in their new “friend” than in their partner and may share more intimate emotional feelings and secrets with their new partner than with their existing spouse. Any time that an individual invests more emotionally into a relationship with someone besides their partner the existing partnership may suffer.
Deception and secrecy. Those involved may not tell their partners about the amount of time they spend with each other. An individual involved in this type of affair may, for example, tell his or her spouse that they are doing other activities when they are really meeting with someone else. Or the unfaithful spouse may exclude any mention of the other person while discussing the day’s activities to conceal the rendezvous. Even if no physical intimacy occurs, the deception clearly shows that those involved believe they are doing something wrong that undermines the existing relationship. In other words, if there was really no harm in meeting with a friend, both parties would feel comfortable telling their partners the truth about where they are meeting and what they are discussing.
An emotional triangle. One that may only be known to the unfaithful, who then struggles to keep the other two from knowing of the impact of one upon the other. Denial will likely characterize the unfaithful person's response to an invitation by their spouse to reflect on the competing demands of the relationship with the other person.
Sexual and emotional chemistry. Emotional affairs may not always lead to physical intimacy, but some do. The time between the first meeting and a first kiss can often be very lengthy, but the time between the first kiss and sexual intercourse may be very short. In most of these affairs, however, an unspoken attraction exists. A partner may spend extra time getting ready before seeing this "friend" or may buy new clothing or change their appearance in order to seem attractive to them. They may obsess anticipating phone calls, emails or text messages.
Denial. Denial of the presence of sexual behavior, sexuality or even of an atom of limerence. "Limerence is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person. It is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual." This denial can be exhibited by the cheating partner and/or the partner being cheated on, especially if the partner cheated on is male. If the cheating partner accepts that the element of sexual attraction exists, however, and physical contact starts, it can cause the current relationship to start collapsing.
Betrayal. There is an implicit betrayal of values, believed to have been shared, about the sanctity of a relationship based on love, of the idea of a soul mate and of being faithful to fundamental agreements underlying intimacy, that are perceived by the spouse not involved in the affair to be a core of their committed relationship and world view.


A one-night stand is originally a single night theatre performance (usually a guest group on tour), and today more commonly also a single sexual encounter between individuals, where neither individual has any immediate intention or expectation of establishing a longer-term sexual or romantic relationship.
The individuals participating in a one-night stand typically have not known each other long and have had minimal time to get to know each other before engaging in sexual activity. A one-night sexual encounter is not necessarily always a one-night stand; the crucial distinction is the expectation or intention that the relationship will not necessarily be extended beyond the initial sexual encounter. A one-night stand is differentiated from prostitution, as it takes place without direct payment of money and from a casual relationship, which may not initially involve sex and may continue long-term. The term came from the expression one night stand, used for a touring theatrical company who would make a single performance in one locale before moving on to the next engagement, and to a place where such a performance was given.

During sex females get such a strong dose of oxytocin that "when women think they can have sex and walk away just like guys do, they're having to suppress thousands of years of evolution that tells them to cuddle, stay in bed, and look forward to tomorrow. When they get up and walk out, they feel depressed and don't know why."

Researchers have found that women's feelings after one night stands are much more negative than men's. Feeling 'used' was the predominant negative emotion they felt the next morning and they also worried about their reputations and felt as if they had let themselves down. Professor Anne Campbell from Durham University said "What the women seemed to object to was not the briefness of the encounter but the fact that the man did not seem to appreciate her. The women thought this lack of gratitude implied that she did this with anybody."

PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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A one-night stand can be thought of as an irregular and unplanned sexual encounter between individuals. The participants will usually have little or no contact with one another aside from sex. Thus it is possible to have multiple one-night stands with the same person, provided that there is no regularity to the encounters or planning involved in the encounters. However, where the people involved have a regular sexual relationship without romantic involvement, this is generally considered a casual relationship (also referred to using terms such as "no strings attached"/NSA, "fuck buddies", or "friends with benefits"/FWB), and is generally considered distinct from the one-night stand phenomenon.
The risks of participating in one-night stands can include the risks of having unprotected sex, such as unwanted pregnancy or contraction of STDs. Effective use of contraceptive devices can help combat STDs



Men are more likely to reproduce and therefore to benefit from numerous short-term partners. For women, however, quality seems to be more important than quantity. Also for women, finding partners of high genetic quality is a stronger motivator than sheer number, and it is commonly believed that women are more willing to have casual sex when there is a chance of forming a long-term relationship.

As Professor Campbell explained: “In evolutionary terms women bear the brunt of parental care and it has been generally thought that it was to their advantage to choose their mate carefully and remain faithful to make sure that their mate had no reason to believe he was raising another man’s child. But recently biologists have suggested that females could benefit from mating with many men—it would increase the genetic diversity of their children and, if a high quality man would not stay with them forever, they might at least get his excellent genes for their child.”

Professor Campbell looked at whether women have adapted to casual sex by examining their feelings following a one-night stand. If women have adapted, then although they may take part in casual sex less often than men because of their stricter criteria when selecting partners, they should rate the experience positively. To test the theory, a total of 1743 men and women who had experienced a one-night stand were asked to rate both their positive and negative feelings the following morning, in an internet survey.

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Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
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Prof Campbell added: “Evolution often acts through positive or negative emotions which draw us towards adaptive behaviors or drives us away from harmful ones. For example, we enjoy other people’s company but get depressed if we spend too much time alone. Basic emotions guide us down pathways that have been advantageous for our ancestors. It seemed obvious that if our female ancestors really were adapted to short–term relationships they ought to enjoy them, just like men do.”

Overall women’s feelings were more negative than men’s. Eighty per cent of men had overall positive feelings about the experience compared to 54 per cent of women. Men were more likely than women to secretly want their friends to hear about it and to feel successful because the partner was desirable to others. Men also reported greater sexual satisfaction and contentment following the event, as well as a greater sense of well-being and confidence about themselves.

The predominant negative feeling reported by women was regret at having been “used”. Women were also more likely to feel that they had let themselves down and were worried about the potential damage to their reputation if other people found out. Women found the experience less sexually satisfying and, contrary to popular belief, they did not seem to view taking part in casual sex as a prelude to long-term relationships.
“What the women seemed to object to was not the briefness of the encounter but the fact that the man did not seem to appreciate her. The women thought this lack of gratitude implied that she did this with anybody,” Professor Campbell explained.

According to Professor Campbell, although women do not rate casual sex positively, the reason they still take part in it may be due to the menstrual cycle changes influencing their sexual motivation. Indeed, during the ovulatory phase (between days 10 to 18 of their cycle), women report increased sexual desire and arousal, with a preference for short-term partners.


The term human bond—or, more generally, human bonding—refers to the process or formation of a close personal relationship, as between a parent and child, especially through frequent or constant association.

When pairs have favorable bonds, the nature of this bonding is usually attributed to "good" interpersonal chemistry. The word bond derives from the 12th century Middle English word band, meaning something that binds, ties, or restrains. Its application to interpersonal human relationships has been used intermittently ever since.


The term social network or "interconnected group of people", which may include up to 150 people (Dunbar's number), is from 1947.

The concept of nuclear family or bonded unit of two parents plus one or more children was coined by American anthropologist George Murdock in his 1949 work Social Structure.

According to Merriam-Webster, the application of the term “bonding” to interpersonal relationships came of use in 1976. With the recent popularity of the Internet, sites such as My Space encourage people to increase the size of their friendship networks Academic dishonesty Betrayal Communications deception Confidence trick Doctrine of mental reservation Electronic deception Forgery Fraud Good cop/bad cop Half-truth Hoax Lie Limited hangout List of topics related to public relations and propaganda Media manipulation Media transparency Military deception Misdirection Modified limited hangout Newspeak Phishing Placebo (origins of technical term) Plagiarism Propaganda Psychological warfare Secrecy Selectivity Spectacle Spin (public relations) Sting operation Theft Act 1968 Theft Act 1978 Simulated reality Steganography Social engineering Swampland in Florida


Marriage is a personal union of individuals. This union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the married status created is sometimes called wedlock.
Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships (usually intimate and sexual) are acknowledged by the state or by religious authority. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction. If recognized by the state, by the religion(s) to which the parties belong or by society in general, the act of marriage changes the personal and social status of the individuals who enter into it.
People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship.

Marriage may take many forms: for example, a union between one man and one woman as husband and wife is a monogamous heterosexual marriage; polygamy — in which a person takes more than one spouse — is common in many societies;

. Recently, some jurisdictions and denominations have begun to recognize same-sex marriage, uniting people of the same sex.

A marriage is often formalized during a marriage ceremony,

which may be performed either by a religious officiant, by a secular State authorized officiator, or (in weddings that have no church or state affiliation) by a trusted friend of the wedding participants.

The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved and, in many societies, their extended families.
Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declares that

"Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution. Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses."

The Cairo Declaration on Human Rights in Islam gives men and women the "right to marriage" regardless of their race, color or nationality, but not religion.

A marriage, by definition, bestows rights and obligations on the married parties, and sometimes on relatives as well, being the sole mechanism for the creation of affinal ties (in-laws). These may include:
giving a husband/wife or his/her family control over a spouse’s sexual services, labor, and property.
giving a husband/wife responsibility for a spouse’s debts.
giving a husband/wife visitation rights when his/her spouse is incarcerated or hospitalized.
giving a husband/wife control over his/her spouse’s affairs when the spouse is incapacitated.
establishing the second legal guardian of a parent’s child.
establishing a joint fund of property for the benefit of children.
establishing a relationship between the families of the spouses.
These rights and obligations vary considerably between societies, and between groups within society.













PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
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Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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Bedrock - Bedroom - BoardroomGregory Lynn BodenhamerCopyright 2006All Rights ReservedPeopleNology for BusinessNollijy for LoversMechanicsburg Pa 17055PeopleNology@hotmail.com So faithful and exact is the evolutionary history of women it has created or at least helped create the life you lead today. Our attempt will be to journey with you and look at the whole life of society and how you participate.From the cave and it’s bedrock philosophy you will discover many things and teachings that hold you back today. The ancient you had a very difficult time trying to just survive the hour or day. You will discover that our information based and machine based society still looks upon you as you once were so long ago. There is truth is history and we will explore how you wonderful mind works and why you think and feel certain things. The classes of our society tells you were to go to school, what to study while you’re there and who to marry and when. Within your mind you’ll discover the absolute rhythms that beat from the bedrock of your past, into your own bedroom and in your professional boardroom life today.Your whole life study is a journey that will never be completed. You’re mind is the only place to discover your future place, who you really love and the wonders of the world. This is written for the women of the world and their children. It’s written for the precious friends that we hold in our hearts. The words speak of the past relationships so we can fill up our lives with new hopes, dreams, inspiration and the wonderful world that waits for us. We’ll talk of many things that will help the youth of your mind and soul become alive again.People love you, even though you may never know, some still wait for you, even though in only their soul.Greg BodenhamerBeyond your wildest dreams people treat you certain ways today because of ancient history. It was the time of the cave and you were just another animal called woman. Of such things we will study and bring you up to current times. The actual is possible because we are here together and you’re among friends. There is a beginning and ending to everything that we understand and we’ll explore the start of this primitive notion of woman and we’ll put an end to societies conceptions. Literally, beyond your dreams of a better day waits the truth on how to create a better future. You have spent your entire life as women being isolated and the course of everyday is alienation from family, friends and the earth itself.Many women travel their worlds thinking their happy and free when in reality they’re living inside the role of another human being. Evolution has played a roll, the prehistoric bedrock environment has set the path that most women lead to this day. Beyond the conceptions there is a way and means of your thinking. We’ll study why and how you think and also the way of thinking of men. It seems we’re all in fear of honest communications and the personal nature of life itself. You’ll discover that evolutionary forces of nature and mankind has created you, how you think and how you respond.You will no longer be isolated by society, friends or family. You’ll look at people in a different way and have a new path to follow. We’ll teach you how to know the truth and to persuade others for better relationships. You’ll learn about the organic evolution that has fully persuaded others to treat you different, abuse everything that's important and roles you must play.It seems you have been an actor in another's play for the world. The curtain is open and there is no dress rehearsal so don’t be delayed. We’re going to open your mind and discover who put all those thoughts and feelings in there that makes you struggle, lay down when you want to stand, be quite when you have something to say and give your entire life and soul to another.You had to arrive in a natural way, we are all natural. From the beginning at the bedrock of you is the primitive and prehistoric nature of the world.Let’s start at the beginning. At the beginning you were mostly all alone. Many experts have many opinions because no person alive was there at the beginning. What we do know is that two people make another so there had to be a start. We now have some proof, with more to follow, that people, kind of like me and you lived in China about 600,000 years ago. Recent discoveries show that we were around a long time before. These were people that retained some of the markings of the ape. The evolutionary idea should not disturb you at all. Something or someone made the first one of us, it only makes sense.We lived in caves together as man and woman and there was no technology. We ate what we could find or kill and truly, only the strong survived. It was the ancient times, before the sun rise of our learning and exploring the world. The bones of our ancient friends have been found around the world. Some experts say we traveled in small groups or tribes of people. Some experts show that we just stayed in the cave and ventured out for food. It was not a life that you could imagine today even though we are not very far removed from their realities. The few people that walked the earth spent all their lives looking for food, staying warm, killing animals and walking to another place looking for something else. We did live in caves and we believed in what is called crooked justice. This paradox of both opposites being true at the same time is only the beginning of our unusual past. Crooked justice was cultivated and was harsh that we cannot imagine. All the old time instinctive urges ruled the day. Our beginning was before the time of domestic animals and matches. We ventured out to hunt for food that had to be killed. It was the time that the food could kill the hunter. We didn't grow corn or store up food as we had no way of knowing how. It was the time to kill or be killed that was our beginning. We had to have the capacity to gain food daily. If we didn't eat we would quickly die, the ultimate bankruptcy. People quickly learned that the man became bigger for a reason. The man had the strength, longer legs, stronger arms and could travel for days to kill animals and gather plants to eat. It was the time of the strong. We didn't have the taste for food that you have today. They understood the hunger pain, the instinctive side of food. The appetite was the same that you have today. You want food because you’re hungry, they too felt the same way. They thought of food all the time. They would reach out from their caves and venture for days looking for more and more food. The men would travel with their strength in very small groups within their tribes. We have found their bones all over the world. Small groups of mostly men and a very few women have been found in caves around the world.The men found their importance by being the best hunter, the fastest runner or the strongest of the strong. As thousands of years past the human evolution started to show its face. The woman left in the cave, with shorter legs, not as strong was starting to get smaller, a little weaker as the cave man got stronger the paradox of life makes her weaker. As the men traveled their muscles got bigger and they could run for hours and hours. The woman was in the cave waiting for them to come back. The man had to render some important service to the group and his rewards was mostly found within food. There was nothing more important than finding the food, regardless of taste, regardless of danger, regardless of weather and chance of death. Over thousands of years the man reached out and conquered many things in very simple ways. The woman was loosing the knowledge race as the experiences would not be hers. They were no books, no special places and no friends to talk with about anything as they had almost no knowledge.These instinctive times ruled the world. It was the same place you see today, the tall green trees, the ice and snow on the mountain, the water running down the valley and animals roaming. They were mostly all alone.The food that they ate gave them vitamins, helped them grow but it seems the men always had the better food as they were closer to the food supply. Imagine killing dozens of miles away and not eating. They ate during the hunt, at the time of kill and brought food for the cave and ate again. They were stronger, they ate different plant foods, they had different vitamins. We didn't have the chance to move too far as another tribe might be one hundred miles to the west. We could only travel within our own ancient range unless we wanted to fight and kill other people for more hunting range and better food. These guarded boundaries of food, water and shelter allowed certain small tribes to gain strength and become larger. Notice a baby in your arms today. It’s a miracle of human evolution as you see a child reach out, away from their body, as they reach for food. A baby will reach out for food because their instincts tell them to when they want food. You, as their mother, did not teach them to suck on your breast, or to cry when they want, or reach out when they want more. You’ll also notice that they pull back, it’s something the creator gave them, the reaching out and pulling back will last their entire life. You do it to.The ancients reached out and looked for food. They pulled back and brought food to the cave for the others. More hunters meant more food and your ancient instincts of laying down on demand was only beginning. The woman was not strong and had only the purpose of laying down with a strong man and bearing children. The children went to hunt, and gather plants, and perform other harsh shores. You had to reach out for food, you had no imagination or ideas, you had your body that served as a functional tool to recreate a man to make him and the tribe stronger.All of us were hunting people, we gathered plants, we depended on the soil, the lake and the ocean.Each human in the tribe needed about two square miles of earth to supply their needs. We died very young, very few old people, children died at birth and so did you. Everything was effected by weather, the weather killed, the animal food hunted you, the plants would die, other tribes would invade our space. Food would fail often times and the people would starve. It was harsh times and it was not fun, not educational they way we know now. People died or were left behind. At the beginning and even to this day food and water is the most important thing. As other things were so important you again became smaller in social importance. Every man told you what to do or they would hurt the women. You would be killed. Your food would be held back or you would be kicked out of the cave if you did not obey every order by man.We were food gathering people and that's about all. We didn't look at the stars and wonder as we were too close to starvation. We didn't hold hands as we didn't need the affection to have sex. Sex was about power. Sex brought about more males and the man father was made stronger. This was the life of the ancient women. Our food was not cultivated. We did not have farms or fields of corn or anything else. We lived off the land and huddled down in holes in the earth, caves within the mountains.The Adam and Eve depiction shows early love and forbidden activities. It really wasn't that nice for early humans.We were instinctive and the lion would eat your young or you would die of hunger or severe weather or another tribe would steal your woman to make babies for their tribe to build strength in numbers. The man would reach out and kill the food and you would wait. He became strong and you became weaker by the year. You followed every order or he would beat you even when you reached out to him with hunger. You would draw back your hand in fear. You would hide in the shadows to hide from the one that feeds you. The man brought everything and took everything. He didn't have sex for fun, he did it for power. He brought you down under him even if you were afraid. Having a baby could kill you and your having his baby made him stronger within the tribe. More hunters, more food, more males, more strength, the evolution of man. What you must understand there is an inborn love of self and not much else. Human nature is both a product and a process. Human nature makes you reach out and pull back food to your mouth. Human nature became a mental and physical process of eating. It seems we all eat the same way. The small black child has the same human nature as a white or yellow child.Their culture of human nature, the treatment of the weak by the strong is the exact same as yours. It seems that the strong ruled the earth, much like today.The process of strength over the weaker is a evolutionary part of human nature. If we lived in caves today, the strong would survive, do not doubt this and you would be forced into a primal bedrock stoneage life. Everything that you think you know. Everything you think you understand. Everything about your life is very fragile. The cave man did not have the urge to do good or to bring you flowers. He would eat, have sex and assure his authority if he had to beat you, starve you or kill you. He laid on you to gain power not because he loved you. You are primal. He was primal. He would kill you for power, a better position in the tribe, to demonstrate his power over you. You were afraid, you were hungry and mostly alone. You were told what to do and how in their ancient tongue. Man did not develop that mental hunger yet. He did not try to understand. Watch your favorite pet, the dog, the cat and know that they are instinctive and they will survive. Your pet is much like you and me long ago in caves. We had no mental hunger or curiosity.Man has the skills, strength and talents to survive and you became dependent on him year after year. Thousands of years later all these survival skills are locked in your brain. It developed your pattern of thinking. You think to survive. How you think today started thousands of years ago. You have instinctive thinking. You’re thinking without knowing it. You’re thinking things that you don’t know because they’re human nature. You react certain ways all the time as you are instinctive. Nothing you can do can change the power of your human nature. You have been made over thousands and thousands of years. You have acquired the skills to survive the test of the world and they are buried inside the genes of your body. Your skill has been acquired from the process of continuous effort. You know what works and you’ll keep doing those same things even though they’re wrong. The human gene works within your body and it makes you and it will or has made your children. The man believes that he must pass on his genes to carry his soul forward and he will get his way. A man will take daring leaps from place to place and you tend to wait in the cave. It’s not because your lazy or not smart enough its because human nature has taught you to wait. Men, through evolution have been taught not to wait. It was not that long ago that different tribe leaders would pick your mate to assure some deal between tribes. You have been used to seal the deal, make the babies, wait inside, cook the food and it was just the other day.The man was responsible for the protection of the tribe and to feed the group. The mind and the body had to be used to fulfill his purpose. As you waited he traveled further and further. He gained knowledge as you waited for food. All these evolutionary things that happened to you has made you. The human nature inside you cannot be removed but you need to understand many things that drive you closer and move you away.The man will drive you down and force himself upon you as the need for recreation is strong and he will still leave to some distant place. The bedrock of your past will teach us about your today. Successful lovers were not friends they were just there at the time. The stronger male took the woman and recreated through her body. The free use of physical force was the way of the day. All these events, over thousands of years have taught you what to do when someone approaches you in the middle of the night walking down the street. What to do when a man may kiss your mouth. What to say when a man leaves you with children for another younger woman to make more children.Human nature makes you strong and makes you weak at the same time.Men impose morality on women. The chastity of their women is important and they will kill when they feel the threat of another male touching their woman. At the same time they will travel to touch another woman. There were not mental bonds or relationships to speak of in ancient times and by chance we have very few today. The passionate self surrender sex that you think you know about today did not take place in the cave. The instinctive affections was all that was needed in the cave. The force, the want and the need to recreate. Men did not always seek per say lovers outside of their immediate tribe. Men would give food and the woman would be forced to have sex. Being a lover is a modern term for the same sexual act that brought us here. Love is a cloaked name for parenthood. The sexual act is to create another human being. You do not see me as I see you. Love is blind is more than just a saying. As your mate travels away from the cave he looks at women not in the same way he looks at you.The people on the street or in the office do not see you and I together as you and I see us together. Other men become jealous as you move closer to another male. Its human nature that competition remains within evolution to keep us strong as the strong must survive.Since the beginning of time men have kept you weak and want you weaker. If you become weak they can become strong without any effort or struggle. If you can agree that this evolutionary struggle has been going on since the first man and woman walked the earth you’re about to change you life, the life of your friends and family, your partners and employees at work and life will never be the same. You can change your knowledge but not your past. Understanding is only the beginning. It was your life and its the only one you know. Sitting on the river bank you would gather water and bring it back for yourself and the other members of the tribe. If the woman did not do the work of the man the woman would not eat and gain no rewards. The stronger male made the rules and created the roles of the female. You could run away from the fear of death just to find it again if the other tribes decided to keep you or maybe even trade you for food or a better place of authority. You did not wash and often times no clothes were needed as we know them today. Sanitation did not exists and everything was natural. Infant girls and young women were forced into difficult work and often gave birth barely within puberty. Birth killed many woman and in difficult times too many baby girls were just left to die as they could not hunt or fuel tribal needs. The selection process for adult females was nothing special as you may imagine by now. Washing your feet at the rivers edge was not a safe thing as someone would steal you and enslave you within child birthing and other chores of the day. The female only has periods of sexual gratification where the male was willing to mate during all seasons.Human nature is evolution. Being natural is human nature. Being nude is a natural thing just like being hungry or tired. The thirst for water, the need for shelter against the elements are all instinctive. Wanting food, clothing and shelter we consider a basic need of life. We will kill for it and take it from others if we are afraid of not having what we want or need. You’ve been hiding in the shadows for a very long time. You’ve been watching your back since the beginning of time. All these human nature evolutionary things control your life today. Again, you think things you don’t know your thinking. You don’t think about getting thirsty you just drink water. You become thirsty but you didn't think about it until such time your body required water. As you drink from the waters edge, the male tends to think of sex and the creation of another male. He thinks of feeding the young as it is a recreation of himself by natures law and defending what he owns. A man will save his woman but he will always save his child first, it’s his recreation on earth, its human nature. We have this romantic notion about life. We’ve learned to overcome the primal fears of death, illness, old age and all the rest? When no enemy is in sight there is no fear. Group feelings are in the state of calm and members of the tribe can forage for food, drink water from the river and hunt animals for their adequate food supply. When fear appears all the bets are off and its dog eat dog. Our nature tells us its kill or be killed. You didn't study that in school but keep your doors locked at night. Your safety is a primal need and you’ll do anything for it. You will prostitute yourself over and over for food, clothing and shelter. You will live the bad dream as the art shows to get what you must have. Many people live a lessor life because they live within their instincts. I can make you fearful as I understand your instinctive human nature. If you do not understand them then you will live within the roles I set for you. I can give you an instinctive thought which will move you to the next thought and resulting in some action.All the fears, the natural instincts harm you and save you at the same time. Your prehistoric sister did not have a chance or the weaker male wasn't much better. Did a woman invent football or a male? It seems men like contact sports and you like to knit in front of a fire. You want to nurture a child and the man hunts dear in the winter. How far removed from your past are you? You’re a lot closer in physical terms than you think. The big surprise, without proper education and experiences your emotions or human evolutionary thoughts control your life. Hope turns your mind in one direction. Education helps you find the direction. Fear turns your head in many directions at the same time because you’re guarding. The fear in your life is the protective machinery you need to survive and its one of your basic instincts. Your group or family, prehistoric tribe, is being cradled or gathered for protection. When a tribal member leaves the cradle you are turned to fear because that is your instinct. Fear is the agent that sets off the alarms. If you sense fear than you run away from the river even if you need water. You warn the tribe, you run to the cave and grab sticks and stones. It seems that if I can make you fear I can also make you do things that are against your free will. This may surprise you but fear is one of the primary ingredients of love. You fear what you love and you love what you fear. The fear of being separated from me will cause you fear. The fear of a child away from home will cause you to fear for their safety and make you love them more. The fear of the father combined with a male child is a unique combination by nature to make a man from the boy. The boy realizes the power of the father, the giver and taker, the master of the land, the hunter of the food even when you buy at the grocery store.The man brings the food to the cave is more important than the woman that build the fire. Anybody can build the fire but only few are great hunters. Men at modern work fear that you’re taking power and you will become the hunter. The modern wife that earns more money creates a fear in the man mate.No matter the size of the evolutionary unit that you will learn its the most powerful force in your life when your thoughts bring it to life. Your thoughts are revealed through feelings and your actions are created through thoughts.The woman has become, just like the man, what they have thought about and experienced, the ancient education, for thousands of years. This thing we call human nature rules the world so you must understand.When the sun comes up this next day you will look for food and you wont go the day without it even if you have to steal it. You start your life by fearing death and you know the signals of when you will die. Hunger is a pain as thirst shows the need for water.The things you fear are natural and people use them against you in many different ways. We’ll discover how you think and how you became this way so you can take your proper place in life and love another as never before.Your ancient sister defended her territory from other women. A human defines a area that he or she call their own. Everything within this boundary belongs to the immediate human family or the tribe of families. This territory is a matter of life and death and any infringement tends to start verbal and physical wars. No other woman can take your man away even if you fear him in many different ways. The other woman wants the protector, the one that brings the food and guards the tribe from death and harm. The other woman wants the strength of the man in the same intensity that you want to keep it. Love has little to do with the satisfaction of the need for security, food and water. There is to this day the life and death struggle of women trying their best to keep their men within their domain. What you will learn is that there is only one you for people to see but you really do have an evil twin and its education goes back thousands of years. The other you survives and will do things that may bring about shame and disgrace. The public you has the perfect life, the perfect home and husband. There is no human on earth today that is perfect so it must be all about image.You will guard your public face or run to the cave to grab sticks and stones to defend your territory to the death. It takes little to bring out the human evil you but takes tremendous effort to keep the public you guarded. Even when the men are harmful you still want them because of what they provide. In ancient times just like today the birth rate had to be greater than the death rate or we would not be on earth. The woman was forced to sex to recreate but she was given food and shelter in the cave. One woman will steal anothers man to gain the shelter and food and prostitute themselves for what they need to survive. …..The essential knowledge that you must have to engineer your own greatsuccess in life.All the things your fathercouldn't tell you and yourmother didn't know.The philosophy, concepts,principles and theoriesthat help you grow and understand the peoplesurrounding you today.Curiosity of PeopleWanting to Know YouPeopleNologyNollijyGreg Bodenhamer A complete overview of your evolutionary history and all the things you need to know.Taking the philosophy, concepts, principles and theories from Bedrock to Bedroom to Boardroom.Thought provoking explanations of your brain and body and how every human thinks and acts through the human thought process. Helpful insights on how you feel, what makes you smile or makes you fail. The inside scoop on you and everybody you know or will meet in the future.Take control of your life as you only get one chance for the brass ring. Discover the truth about Adam and Eve, Dick and Jane and explore your own great potential. Surprise your friends and amaze your lovers. This is the journey that nobody talks about because your father couldn't tell you and your mother didn't know.Take our hand and journey to a new place you’ll always call home sweet home. GregWithout this important knowledge, this very day, you’re leading your life for another person or a group of people. The work you do, the life you lead, the friends you entertain have all been designed for fulfilling someone else's goals and dreams, with you as a simple actor, in another persons play.For the first time in your life, you’re going to understand what’s going on around you, why people do certain things, how they feel and how they direct your thoughts, feelings and control you. All the things that can help you and have hurt you are going to be explored to make a better you. You’re going to discover art and music, the magic of how you think and in what order you think. You’ll learn how to control your thoughts and emotions, learn and apply principles that only top experts understand. Learning about yourself is learning about every person around you and discovering a new life inside you that’s been waiting.You’re going to learn how to get what you want, enjoy your life, enrich the life of others, gain greater wealth than you could imagine. You owe it to yourself to learn why people do strange things and how they control you. Ever wonder why people act bizarre even faced with the truth? Ever wonder about your mate and what makes them think, fall in love, want to run away, go back to school or join a club down the street?Why do some people have great wealth and others struggle from day to day? If you could only appreciate this new knowledge, you’re going to gain greater knowledge which gives you the power, the absolute power to gain a better life, help your children, have friends of the heart and mind, grow past today and influence other people.When you fully understand what and why people think certain things at certain times you could influence their thinking and actions. Imagine the power of knowledge, imagine the influence you’ll have to control actions and results.People just like me and you have the absolute power inside them to conquer our fears of poverty, old age, ill health, losing someone’s love, criticism from others and even the fear of death. You get to decide who you are.You get to select the illusion.You get to learn the truth.You get to explore what you want.You get to control the wealth.The Perfect Orange, A certain amount of pride always goes along with picking the perfect orange, thousands picked and just one perfect, deliberately stealing you from the world you are the genius, rather reserved,others admire you,nearly a basketful in the world,your genius is bravery first,believe it, believing it is enough,you are essential, one of a kind, very proud to have found you.Gregory BodenhamerUnderstanding how youare the most perfectin all the world.In practice, changing minds is an important part of most jobs and it’s always been the basics of my own profession. To make your company bigger and better you have to move forward and walk with other people, and you’re going to start with yourself.That perfect orange is inside you, it’s always been there for the asking. The evolution of you will amaze you and make you stronger. The power inside you is all yours for the asking and the taking.You must reach your individual potential so you can improve the entire group of individuals that drive you and your company. The give and take policy of your employees, friends and family will not do the task. Most people are taught by teachers that only know certain things to be true.Your math teacher educated you about 2 + 2 = 4 and other arithmetic sums. If this equals that then this must be true. It’s the foundation or starting point for most of us. We know our A B C’s because some other person said it was true and the way of the world. We understand that the apple will fall from the tree to the earth.What many people fail to understand is the knowledge about people. People, just like me and you struggle daily with our knowledge. We strive to achieve some disciplined result and we wonder why we sometimes fail.Others tell us when we win and when we sin. It must be unpleasant to lose the race as everybody bets on the winner? Your place in the future is being determined by other people with more knowledge. You’re going to obtain the start of this knowledge today so you can begin you’re own journey within life. Their experience drives your future. Their position of strength allows your weakness. The stronger and bigger they become the weaker and smaller you become.How can you turn the tide? What would you do with unknown knowledge? How many people need to know what I know? If you became strong would you help the weak? If you became bigger would you help the smaller people understand?The ingenuous you as the ability to understand complex mathematics and competition within the marketplace. You can build organizations and profit from your results. The same ingenuous you needs more to do more. You know that some days not everything works. The perfect machine breaks down and the profit stops. All the people you know, what makes them go and stop. How do they feel good about you, the company, the spouse and the house they live in?Great people leave your company and the ones that stay complain and protest. You’re missing the truth about people and the answers now are upon you. What would you do with the Harmony of your people? How big would your business become if you took all the people with you? What if you allowed the good people to be the good teacher of something new?The generations of live and let live in friendships name has cost good companies their future. What you did yesterday won’t work today. Your friends move away, your love moves from side to side and new ideas and people confuse you. You’re going to learn what makes up that perfect orange and how you can grow your own personal wealth of knowledge, friends and companions.I don’t have the cloak-and-dagger secrets of your future but I do have the truth. When was the last time that a newspaper wanted to write an article about you? What was the last magazine that published your thoughts and inspirations? What was the last T.V. station that ran your story to share the wealth of knowledge? Your knowledge is power in the marketplace. Learn more and earn more and get started with the Curiosity of People, Wanting to Know You. I’ve built fantastic companies for people all across the United States. It’s the adventure of the mind and the process controls combined that create wealth. All these great things were accomplished with people, people just like you. The secrets of the mind are the secrets of your individual success and that of any company. People rule the world and most people know very little about their only true asset.Owners and executives will want to retain your skills, knowledge and abilities to apply what you know. From shore to shore these people principles will work because when the day is done, we’re all alike, one way or another. The human experience within evolution will enhance your education, emotions and experience levels. This knowledge combined with your technical experiences will sustain your personal and professional growth. Have no doubts, your customers and employees are people but, you already knew that, didn't you. Imagine the certainty and reality of knowing what to know about knowing. See in your mind’s eye what you could do if all the people could see the truthfulness of your vision. Picture happy employees and delighted customers. Learn how to appreciate the power of people by understanding them and helping them. Who gives and who takes? Who’s the friend and who’s just friendly? We’ve been taught that it’s not nice to gloat over success. We’ve been taught the linear way to the finish line. We’ve been taught to start fast, run faster and make it to the winner circle.What you must know is not taught at the Harvard School of Business. Your superior won’t tell you because they don’t know. The rich and powerful few of us know the truth about truth. Great company’s study people and then their products. They spend money on culture and instruction. They take the best of the best and they show them the Living Genius we all have inside.You’re A Geniusand nobody told you, that perfect little orange. If you’re smart enough to understand writing you can learn about your next great success and that of your company. I’m going to give you authority of knowledge where most just hide the truth. You’re going to be a better person. You’re going to help hundreds or thousands of people not including thousands of customers. You’ll be physically powerful with this new knowledge. Your employer will admire you and people will gather when you speak. We’re going to embrace people and their minds to you can change what they think so they can become what they must become.You’re going to create a enormous following of people from around the world. People that know you will wonder how you went to the top so quietly and quickly. People at work will admire and appreciate you for what you know and what you can get done. You’re going to be in charge of you and everything around you. It’s about time. It’s your gladness as the reward. More money, the bigger home, the nicer new car, better friends and no more sorrow. The confusion will go away as a new type of success takes hold of your life. You’ll understand why people do things. You’ll be the only one to get the message that I will grant you today. Why do we run so fast? Who took the time to draw the finish line? Why are we so glad to see our hero’s fall? Learn about what everybody wants to know. Watch the trickery move out of the way as you use my proven methods of persuasion. You’ll love people again and hold close the brightest of the class. The intellectual results combine with the irresistible friendship and affection that’s never been allowed in the past.You’ll be able to understand people, from their bedrock past of ancient times, to their bedroom antic's to their boardroom madness at work. The most powerful force on earth is people and you’re going to hold the key to success in the palm of your hands. You’ll be in a new place. The confidence and authority will cascade over the best and they will return the act of kindness.This contest we must win takes people and we know so little about them. You must learn so much before its too late. Any business has about a 90 day future without great people, products, services and a proven plan of action. Your people, they have been taught to die for their country, to work two shifts without sleep, that an “A” on the test is the only way. It’s glorious to win but we’re not sure why. The gloom of failure surrounds our daily life and your employees. People watch as we move around the business, the field of battle. They look up for answers to their questions. They look up for hope and come back with their dreams. You have a free born mind, the blank slate that allows you to create the future. We get glimpses of ourselves but you have no idea. Removing the distractions, framing your better ideas so people can help you operate your business. Help them become interested and believe in quality as there is no substitution. Others tell you what to think, how to feel, how to drive and even who to marry. You’ll be able to trust yourself in your new future, the most important thing. I had such friends to show me the way to my own great success. Only a few must know as they’re just a few giants of men in the world. Who really knows the goal? How do you find the glow of friendship and partnership without fear of the unknown? Stop your own dependence on other people and gain knowledge of that Living Genius that we’re going to set free within your mind. The twin of you, the genius inside will be brought to the surface and all the things you think you know will be reviewed again. Other people telling you what to think and feel will stop forever. That genius in you is based within mother nature, emotional control, education and experiences. The person that you are is just below the surface and all the great things you are capable of will start to show.Understanding you, knowing all about you is the key to your own success and that of your family and friends. Knowing you is only the beginning. You desire the bad to go away and only the good in your life. You have motivation but it does no good. You read important papers and you take notes and try to learn what others will teach you. What if they won’t teach you that makes them their own success? What to do?Other people will let you walk off the cliff to your professional and personal death. This knowledge pulls you back from the ordinary and moves you to genius. Everything I teach you already know, at least in bits and pieces. We’re going to put you together again and you’ll notice the change. Do you have a degree of forgiveness to forgive yourself for not knowing? Can you muster the acknowledgement that smarter people have roamed the earth and some walk today? Can you understand that some people know things you don’t think about? It’s not about who you know it’s all about what you know and how you apply knowledge. Can you capture the divine spark of knowledge when you see it? Can mankind and womankind grow past their burning past and education? Can you try and forget some of the things your parents said to do when this or that happens? Can you get the idea that teachers only teach what they know?The Curiosity of People, Wanting to Know You PeopleNology _ Nollijy is all about you and you owe it to yourself to learn this today. It’s about your success first. It’s about your education and then you move to bring about dramatic changes in other people. You’re not an accident. You’re divine and made to perfection and all the things you feel inside were given to you by fate and time. When you understand the greatness of yourself, how you feel, why you feel and think certain things at certain times, you can control actions and results. You can engineer your life and create social companies that produce great people products and services. I put my trust in you that you want to learn about the most important person on earth. You are the most important creature on earth. We’ll talk about many things that you already know but do not fully understand. You’ll gain serenity when you accept that people you don’t even know love you. When you understand that you heart and mind governs the affairs of everything around you.You’ll understand that you are the matching of me and we don’t even know each other. We mostly feel the same way about the same things. We like soft candles and good food. We enjoy out-of-doors and our friends and family. When someone touches our hand we feel more than a simple touch of a chord.We have been completed by design to protect our person and that of family. We tremble when we’re cold and we shiver when a warm hand touches ours. We can take all this productive knowledge and learn how to reach people within their minds. We can make easier their work life and help them become better people.The adventure of the intellect maps out and shows the way how and when people react in certain ways concerning certain things. Our mother taught us that fire is hot but we spend thousands of dollars creating fires in our furnaces to warm our homes. We tell our children not to drive too fast but we speed our way to work daily. We’re honest when people watch and ourselves when we’re alone. We want things and need things that we’ll never talk about. We love people from a distance and disgusted by some in the same way. We give guidance and advice and then we stay on the wrong path concerning our life and deeds. We’re going to the KNOWING - Higher Self area of you and it’s a wonderful place to be for your mental health. We’ll discover the place that nobody goes and very people know about except extreme experts. We’re going to the unknowing place so you can explore your mind, your history of evolution by fate and time. We’ll dig deep into your real self so you’ll know who you are, how you love, how you think, why you think. The free system of the mind, how to help others, changing their minds must surely change their actions and results. By the people, we’ll build things and reduce the resistance to change. You’re going to develop trust before you build the machine. You’ll hear the sounds of the people power in stead of the clatter of the factory floor. All the things you’re going to learn is the springboard for trust, affection and loving other people. By definition you’re going to have the power, the ways and means to make friends and build life long partnerships and groups with mutual understanding and goals. Everything you do will have that firm foundation of trust, affection and love and you’ll be able to decide who, what and when to apply this knowledge. I’ll teach and you’ll learn the things you think you already know. It’s the cultivation you’ve been looking for to prosper and grow as a human being.Every company will need you. Every employee will respect you and they will contribute to better days. If a person knows how you think, then that same person knows what you’ll do at any given time. If I know how you will react to something I can control how you react. If I know how you think about certain things I can most likely sell you something.Everybody is the same97.0 % of the time, the other 3.0% have all the money.Why not change all the rules....Key Results are Knowledge Based andPeople BasedSome key knowledge topics will start to bring in focus the great success you’re about to bring about. These are some of the many things that we’ll study and increase your understanding. Deep inside you, at the core level these many different areas drive you, make you stop, cause or stop fear, help you learn and the tens of thousands of things your body and mind do every day. Motivation: Basic systems that get us going (and keep us going). Belief: What and how we believe. Meaning: How we make sense of the world and infer meaning. Emotion: Affect and what we feel as emotion. Memory: Memorizing and recall. Attention: How we pay attention to things around us. Understanding ourselves: How we perceive ourselves. Understanding others: How we make sense of other people. Discomfort: How we handle discomfort. Attribution: How we attribute cause. Forecasting: How we forecast what will happen. Decision-making: How we make decisions. Decision errors: Mistakes when we make decisions. Conforming: Conforming with social rules. Being contrary: Acting differently or in non-conforming ways. Helping others: Sometimes we are just very helpful. Persuasion: Changing the minds of others. Resistance: Resisting attempts to persuade. Trust: Building trust of others. Lies: Telling things that are not true. Power: Being able to achieve our goals. Friendship: Making friends with others. Behavior: General behavioral responses. Groups: How groups think and act. Advertising Acting Argument Auctioning Brand management Change Management Children Communication Confidence tricksters Conflict management Consulting Counseling Cults Dating Diplomacy Espionage Financial advisors Friendship Gambling Government Human Resources Hypnotism Interrogation Job-hunting Journalism Lecturing Lawyers Leadership Management Marketing Market trading Mediation Missionaries Multi-level Marketing (MLM) Negotiation Networking Parenting Philosophy Poetry Police Politics Propaganda Protesting Publication Public Relations Recruitment Religion Romance Screenwriting Sales Seduction Storytelling Teaching Terrorism Therapy Trade Unions Writing Review the above roster of professions or personal areas where this powerful information can be used. This new knowledge will grow your performance and understanding in all these areas. Experts in their fields study and apply the principles that you’re learning today. From Job-hunting to Dating, from Storytelling to Writing, from Executive Management to Friendships, this powerful knowledge will make you the smartest person on the block, down the street or across your town.You will be able to teach and persuade people, understand them and even predict what they will or will not do in many situations. Everything that happens to you, becomes part of you. Before you do something, you’ve decided to do something. You decided to cross the river before you cross the river. You are made up of millions of things, ideas, actions, desires, experiences etc that places you in your own reality, right now. You cannot change anything you’ve already done. Everything that makes you is connected. All of these millions of connections make up the education, emotions and experiences that overlap or cover the real you. The real you is the physiology and psychology of you, those traits that god gave you without asking you. Nature does not play around and doesn't care about you, it just is. Stop fighting yourself and start learning.Your mind always disagrees with itself, so it can quickly measure everything and come up with the best possible solution based on your core, emotions, education and experiences. Everything about you is mental. Your thoughts believe different things all the time until such time that you decide. If you do not have the education, experiences and emotions concerning a topic at hand you will most likely be wrong. This knowledge in conflict, thoughts in other words, behave just like people. pretending, arguing, threatening, sympathizing, forgiving, agreeing and disagreeing. You do this thousand of times per hour, 24 hours. You have organized yourself into groups that agree with your thinking. People move apart when they disagree and argue.Your mind started as a blank, except the core. You see things different than I do at times, it’s natural and expected. Some of your experiences make bigger impressions than others. Dramatic things leave marks on you, emotional and experience marks. Experience is the chalk that writes on your blank mind slate. People are intelligent and free by nature and we have them boxed inside our contraptions we call our business. We work on software and build new buildings but we don’t work with the people. Every human has core values and you must learn them, 97% of all people live right at the center of their core values.Most supervisors and managers spend no time in learning about their most important asset. They learn how to close a sale, increase production, moving the numbers and earning profits. We’ll learn even more about those things but first things first. The people make, think, act upon everything you try and do. If you do not understand them and they do not understand you or your mission statement you will lose the market, your good people, your business and your future success. The greater company’s are married to their people. They’re holding hands and growing their education, pride, understanding and the market knows who has the better people because they build better products and services. Worrying about the motives and intentions of other people can take its toll on you. Your own Emotional Intelligence has more of an impact on your success in life that your grades in school or your I.Q scores put together. You must have the ability to understand, and use, your emotions successfully. It involves a group of skills, including the ability to motivate ourselves, regulate our moods, control our impulses and empathize with others. Young people tend to fall for schemes, older people, wiser we hope, know better. Older people tend to control more and speculate less. They control their emotional triggers.As a child if you fall off a chair, you think, bad chair. If your mate hits you, you think, bad mate. You’ve been taught that bad things must be punished. You punish things that remind you of the things that hurt you, it’s instinctive.The further you move out the more resilience you have, the ability to interact successfully with others and to solve problems. Leaders must lead. Leaders must have resilience. Leaders must live on the edge and never stop growing. Resilience is a life skill, allows you to bounce back from setbacks, these skills translate into certain thoughts, feelings and behaviors, ability to interact, ability to empower the optimistic outlook, ability to feel good regardless of what's going on around you. As this outer ring gets bigger and bigger you move away from the instinctive you and keep growing. This is where you may become fearful, afraid of change, loving another, you’re at the peak of your life and growing much faster. People living on the “edge” live strong and happy lives. Other people that live closer to the core instincts serve your life. Nature has no favorites. Other people with less emotional control, experiences and education do not want you to move to the outer edge, you’ll leave them. People want you the way that you fit into their range of goals. we seek the comfort of internal alignment. we need beliefs to be consistent. non-alignment is uncomfortable. factors that align attitude and behavior. discomfort when freedom is threatened. we need to attribute cause, that supports our ego. external: tangible rewards. value-based rewards. we select tasks based on how doable they are. our commitment depends on what we have invested. different types of goals motivate us differently. we seek power, achievement or affiliation. We seek to fulfill needs of existence, relatedness and growth. We are motivated by desirable things we expect we can achieve. we seek to control the world around us. we need to attribute cause, that supports our ego. we use constructs as perceptual categories. mental combinations that affect perception. mental structure to organize and interpret the world. constructs that represent understanding. we derive meaning around symbols. we simplify complex things into concrete images. We piece together complex situations into stories to build understanding. Aggression: a learned and social act. supported people feel less stress. we catch emotions from others. we decide what to feel after interpreting events. physiological changes lead to emotions. we deduce feelings from our situation. emotions lead to physiological changes. We recall things that match our beliefsHow we think, Our mind is a wonderful computer, the bestcomputer in the universe, we’re fast, always sure even when we’re wrong.Your Core Values,Education,Experiences andEmotionsare like the island above surrounded by water. We only understand what we know and we often forget about what we feel, the impact from our core. Nothing can reach you, the island in the middle of the ocean without getting through your Education, Experiences and Emotions based and supported by your Core Values.Our moods bias our judgments.recent events seem more likely. we can change our own memories. we pretend we remembered everything. we remember what happened first. we remember recent stuff. we recall things that match our current mood. we can create memories that are false. we seek confirmation that we made a good decision. persuasion requires attention and comparison with previous views. we cannot avoid thinking about things we want to avoid thinking about. we initially believe everything; then we think. We accept things that fit into our belief systems. once formed, a belief will persist. beliefs can change suddenly when we see the light. we believe our internal models are accuratewe see things through beliefs, not as they really are. when we do a favor, we like them even more. we see ourselves through the eyes of others. we learn about ourselves by comparing with others. we infer our feelings from what we do. we decide our feelings after. interpreting events. we underestimate less evident causes of behavior. after a quick discussion, we believe we can predict many behaviors. we are affected by how others see us. we blame our failures on external things. others' behavior caused by disposition, ours by situation. we attribute disposition to good things about ourselves. we justify what can't be explained rationally. we pretend we knew everything all along. we need beliefs to be consistent. we take credit for success and deny failure. we seek confirmation that we made a good decision. we devalue forbidden activity sometimes we tell white or gray lies. we are too confident in our own judgments. we like having someone else to blame. information about others reduces stereotyping. we have expectations of others' behaviorwe overestimate how much people agree with us. we classify people in broad groups. expecting others to return our favors. we are optimistic about others when we need them to cooperate. we dislike people who are very different from us. we are shocked by unexpected language. we need to attribute cause, that supports our ego. we over-estimate importance of available information. we learn by ourselves and through others. we derive meaning around symbols. we simplify complex things into concrete images. we learn much by watching others, thinking, then trying it out. our commitment depends on what we have invested. when we are involved we pay more attention. we find things we have worked on attractive. we feel obliged to complete a public commitment. we seek confirmation that we made a good decision. we anticipate regret and so want what is scarce. we base estimates on known anchors. we base decisions on available small samples. we only use limited logic in decisions. we value more highly the things we own. we guess probability from a 'comparable' event. recent events seem more likely. an overlap seems twice as likely. we see correlation where it is not. we value certain gains and try to avoid certain losses. we care about direct outcomes. We also compare in ratios rather than absolute amounts. persuasion requires attention and comparison with previous views. when we are uncertain we copy others. after a decision we think it was a good one. men and women fall into expected roles. we like simple, explainable we make choices through a series of selection filters. we use various strategies for different types of choice. simple exposure makes us like things more. we decide by comparing things. evidence for a decision is accumulative. when we are involved we need more informationjustifications can lead to silly or immoral acts. we compensate for competence threats by affirming elsewhere. we compensate for self-concept threats by seeking social recognition. we aim to align beliefs and self-perception. we take credit for success and put blame elsewhere. we seek confirmation of our self-view, even if it is negative. we behave well when we are being watched. we act politely or rudely depending on whether we care. we need to return another's favor. acting how we are treated. we follow social rules when we are watched. how we behave depends on how many, etc. are watching. we keep quiet if we are in the minority the more bystanders, the less likely it is one will help we morph to be like others. when we don't know what to do, we copy others. the presence of others helps the competent and hinders the unskilled. we hide in a crowd, using them to conceal laziness. limited resources leads to conflictwe dislike those who are not like us. relationships break down in stages. bringing enemies together increases understanding. we are happiest when give and take are equal. perception of relationships depends on fairness perceptionPeopleNologyNollijySocial Influence: How we are strongly influenced by others. Sleeper Effect: when persuasive messages increase effectiveness over time. Scarcity Principle: we want what is of limited availability. some words are particularly powerful. lying is a dynamic dance of liar and listeneris acting to change a person's behavior against their will. power depends on problem skill, centrality and uniqueness of skill. there are several factors that increase chances of friendship. Law of Attraction: similar attitudes leads to friendship. Matching Hypothesis: romantic partners tend to be similarly attractive. Mere Exposure Theory: exposure to people increases liking. meeting and interacting increase chance of friendship. supported people feel less stress. we talk/act like those we like. a repeated stimulus will trigger associated event. threat leads to danger- or fear-control. when stopped from reaching goal, people turn to aggression. behavior + reward = more behavior (and vice versa). prevention of action leads to action (to prove control). we communicate hugely without words. members are motivated to achieve group goals. groups have rules that must be followed. groups are more extreme in decisions. to sway others in group, arguments tend to be extreme. Alignment: When everything lines up, there are no contradictions to cause agreement. Amplification: Make the important bits bigger and other bits smaller. Appeal: If asked nicely, we will follow the rules we have made for ourselves. Arousal: When I am aroused I am full engaged and hence more likely to pay attention. Association: Our thoughts are connected. Think one thing and the next is automatic. Assumption: Acting as if something is true often makes it true. Attention: Make sure they are listening before you try to sell them something. Authority: Use your authority and others will obey. Bonding: I will usually do what my friends ask of me, without negotiation. Closure: Close the door of thinking and the deal is done. Confidence: If I am confident, then you can be confident. Confusion: A drowning person will clutch at a straw. So will a confused one. Consistency: We like to maintain consistency between what we think, say and do. Contrast: We notice and decide by difference between two things, not a absolute measures. Daring: If you dare me to do something, I daren't not do it. Deception: Convincing by trickery. Dependence: If you are dependent on me, I can use this as a lever to persuade you. Distraction: If I distract your attention, I can then slip around your guard. Evidence: I cannot deny what I see with my own eyes. Exchange: if I do something for you, then you are obliged to do something for me. Experience: I cannot deny what I experience for myself. Framing: Meaning depends on context. So control the context. Harmony: Go with the flow to build trust and create subtle shifts. Hurt and Rescue: Make them uncomfortable then throw them a rope. Interest: If I am interested then I will pay attention. Investment: If I have invested in something, I do not want to waste that investment. Logic: What makes sense must be true. Objectivity: Standing back decreases emotion and increases logic. Perception: Perception is reality. So manage it. Pull: Create attraction that pulls people in. Push: I give you no option but to obey. Repetition: If something happens often enough, I will eventually be persuaded. Scarcity: I want now what I may not be able to get in the future. Similarity: We trust people who are like us or who are similar to people we like. Specificity: People fill in the gaps in vague statements. Substitution: Put them into the story. Surprise: When what happens is not what I expect, I must rethink my understanding. Tension: I will act to reduce the tension gaps I feel. Threat: If my deep needs are threatened, I will act to protect them. Trust: If I trust you, I will accept your truth and expose my vulnerabilities. Understanding: If I understand you, then I can interact more accurately with you. A Gentlemen's Technique© - Self Actualization - Achieving Individual Potential - PeopleNology for BusinessNollijy for LoversGregory Bodenhamer All Rights Reserved Mechanicsburg Pa 17055 Historypaper@msn.com Intellectual Property 2005 - 2006PeopleNology@hotmail.comMoving You Closer To Yes™ - Persuasion Principles & TechniquesAppeal - If asked nicely, people follow the rules we have made for ourselves. If you answer the phone they will answer the phone.Arousal - When you’re aroused you are fully engaged and hence more likely to pay full attention to all details. Association - When our thoughts are mostly connected - You can think one thing and the next thought or action will become automatic without thinking.Assumption - Acting if something is true often makes it true. The truth I may speak becomes the truth over time whether it’s true or not in your mind.Alignment - if 2 + 2 = 4 than you would agree that 4 + 4 = 8? Right? Take little steps to big deals, bring them along one little step at a time.Amplification - We made more money making little widgets. Why did you make more big widgets? Count the little widgets every 10 minutes and e-mail me. Appeal - Let’s you and I have coffee twice a day at 10:00 and 2:00 so we can talk and relax for a few minutes. You just set the break schedule company wide. Arousal - Touch a persons skin a discover their complete attention, they become aroused and listen to every word, whisper to them very softly. Association - Coffee with Cream, thinking coffee also forces you to think cream. You associate the two different things together. At 1700 hours you think leaving work.Assumption - The more you hear the same thing over and over at some point it becomes true in your mind, repetition over powers your mind and creates truth.Much of persuasion or changing another's persons mind is based on a few principles. If you understand the principles then you can use the invented techniques.Alignment - When everything lines up, there are no contradictions to cause any disagreements. When people agree on one point than you can move on to the next. Amplification - Make the important bits and pieces bigger thus making everything else smaller. Paradox, when both contradictions are true at the exact same time. PeoplenologyNollijyGreg BodenhamerAttention - A firecracker through the window, a helicopter landing on the front lawn, having dinner with the boss after your one minute meeting.Closure - Close the door of thinking and the deal is done. Linear end of the road. When you get to Z people can only start over. They do not know another path - non linear.Confidence - If I’m confident then it allows you to be confident. Being correct or right has nothing to do with confidence in any concept or idea or action plans. Confusion - Any drowning person will clutch at a tiny floating straw on the surface of the water. So will a confused one. A personsmental drowning can be caused of preventedMental and social group engineering allows you to provide leadership to various groups of individuals. Curiosity of people and their actions can be quickly reduced to these above stated principles. Achieving individual potential is the starting point of understanding. Intellectual Property Rights Held BodenhamerAuthority - The Police give you no choice, pull over and they just flash the lights. Authority is power, people respect power even if they don’t like you or respect you. Bonding - The trust of friendship is very powerful, without question a friend helps a friend, without doubt a friend believes another friend. Closure - Everything I said was a lie, it was a very serious lie. The other person has no place to go, so they start over. When they start over you can start them over. Confidence - Turn right at the next light, I've been here a hundred times, just turn right, trust me I know...Never been before but, confident. Confusion - Give me two five dollar bills and I’ll give you a ten, plus two ones, and then you give me eight quarters for a coke which only cost .50 cents so here is a dollar. Attention - Make sure they are listening before you attempt to engage. Some unique proposition or conversation to stop another persons mental process steps.Authority - Use the authority and other people will obey. People understand your authority even though they may disagree with the action steps you require.Bonding - Friends usually do what other friends want them to do without any smart negotiations. PeopleNologyNollijyGreg BodenhamerDeception - Try convincing by trickery or by using another persons thinking to allow their total persuasion. People become and do exactly what they think about. Dependence - If you are dependent on me I can use this as a lever to persuade you and convince you against your own self good judgements and decisions. Food - Shelter.Distraction - If I can distract your attention I can therefore move around your guarding. You cannot think if you are distracted which allows your confusion. Evidence - A person cannot deny what they see with their own eyes whether it’s true and real or not. If you see it you believe it. You doubt what you don’t see yourself. Deception - I make you think, I repeat myself to you, you start to believe against your own common sense. You will buy ice water and ship to the Eskimo's.Dependence - You have all the money, you’re in charge. It’s your house so I’m dependent. You know what I did last summer, I’m dependent on you not telling.Distraction - Yell “FIRE” in the middle of church and make sure you watch the collection plate, your attention can be directed to most any other point, quickly.Evidence - The pink lion jumped across the road into the back of my truck, I saw it with my own eyes. It’s true to him, except it was his dog in bad light.Consistency - We all like to maintain some consistency between what we think and do. If I can change what you think I can change what you do in a consistent manner. Consistency -If you believe or I suggest you’ll get a bonus if you do 1 -2 and 3 then you will do it, consistently, I make you think 1-2-3 and you do it because...Contrast - We notice and decide by direct difference between two things, not by some absolute measures. You are tall because the other person is short without measure.Daring - If you really dare me to do all of something, I dare not do it. It’s the real challenge you accept to prove your own worth to other people. Contrast - You think I’m fat because he is so skinny. I’m tall because you’re short. You have more money because I have more children. Unrealistic measures.Daring - I can do anything so I will work two shifts and become the hero. I will ask her for a date because you’re chicken and she likes me because I’m daring.Hurt and Rescue - Make some of them very uncomfortable and then throw them a rope to save them. People love the people that saved them from disaster.Interest - If I’m interested than I will pay attention and the same goes for you. No results really means they are not interested and another technique must be found. Exchange - If I do something for you, then you are obliged to do something for me. If I give you a gift then you think about giving me a gift or some other exchange.Experience - You cannot deny what you experience for yourself. You cannot deny my experiences because you were not there and have no evidence to exchange. Framing - Meaning depends on context. Control the context will control the meaning. Framing the thought gives it texture and makes it real. Mental pictures tell all. Exchange - Wash my back and I’ll wash yours. Be careful of gifts and favors as people want to exchange them, it’s a two way street. Experience - I know if you don’t buy gasoline right now, I’ll be pushing the car just like the last time. Framing - I’ve seen all the beauty of Yellow Stone and she by far is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.Harmony - Go with the flow to build trust and create subtle shifts to change directions without disturbing the harmony. Ride the boat until you become captain then steer it. Harmony - It’s takes a great number of people to make harmony, the thought of together at the perfect point in time, walking at the same speed, the tempo.Hurt and Rescue - If this is not done by Thursday at 1200 noon you’re fired, make sure you save them Wednesday .. at about 9:00 in the morning. Interest - The phone ringing off the hook at work is not too important to a lot of people, we have the problem every day. They’re not really interested in customers or phones. PeopleNologyNollijyGreg BodenhamerInvestment - If you have really invested in something you will not waste the time or money investment. You have very little or no concern over another's investment. Logic - If something may make sense to you then it must be true. To convince one person might not convince ten people. We are very different but we remain the same at times.Objectivity - Stand away and remove yourself from the environment, thought or other actions. Standing back will decrease emotion and increase your natural logic to decide. Perception - Perceptions are your reality and the reality of others. Manage other peoples perceptions and you can manage what others see as true or real.Investment - I just bumped that guy’s car over there but, it’s a small dent, no big deal, it’s an old car anyway. It’s not your old car and you have no investment.Logic - I’ve seen that before and it always happens that way. I’ve seen that before and 2 + 2 does not equal 3. Nine out of ten people could be wrong because they do not understand math.Objectivity - Go away for three days and then work on the same problem or opportunity and find out how different everything looks, that’s the same as you left it. Perception - Nothing is real until your mind or the mind of another makes it real. There is not good or bad until your mind decides that it’s good or bad. Pull - Create the attraction that pulls people closer to you. As people get close they lose their objectivity and can follow your ideas without distraction of other ideas. Repetition - If something happens often enough it must be true. You can eventually persuade or others by repeating thoughts, ideas and words over and over again.Scarcity - You want what you cannot have. You want now what you may not be able to get in the future. You will pay and give more if you think you cannot find it tomorrow.Pull - trust them, have affections towards them and love them and mean every word you say, the attraction is endless. Always win with friends, friends always win together. Repetition - The wind is blowing again and my trash cans end up down the street. The trash can is down the street, the wind must of blown last night. Scarcity - The blue china cup is for me, only one in the world, the auction is starting, I'll pay anything to own that cup, the only one in the world. PeopleNologyNollijyGreg BodenhamerSimilarity - We trust people who are like us or similar to people we like. One friend may look and act like the other because similar things make you comfortable. Specificity - People always fill in the gaps in vague statements. My ten words turn into 1,000 words in your mind. What I don’t say is completed by your own experiences. Substitution - You put people, places and things into every story. You relate and dream of things with different people and you substitute one for the other. Surprise - When what happens is not what you expect to happen, you must rethink your understanding. Your new experience was not identical to your last experience. Tension - You will react to reduce the tension that I feel. If your deep needs are threatened you will act to protect them. You cannot trust and feel threatened.Trust - If you trust me you will accept the truth and I will expose my vulnerabilities. If I understand you, then I can interact more accurately with you. Similarity - That guy thinks just like I do so therefore I like him. He even wears the same shoes that I do, that guy has class, I like him, we’ll go far together. Specificity - The white horse in the painting simply crossed the river with the rest of the men, although the horse never got wet and three men drowned.Substitution - That is the only car in the world for me, he would look good in that car of course John would too, Jason should would look good in a red one.Surprise - He kissed me in front of the entire office. I thought he was going to just say hello. Wow, I don’t know what to think now, last time he just hugged me.Tension - Lets get that report done, he really needs it today, maybe it will calm him down. The other choice is he’ll stay upset and you know how he gets. Trust - We tell each other everything, we don’t always agree but, we never have to guess. We understand each other, we know what must be done and when.Gregory BodenhamerCuriosity of People, Wanting to Know You.™PeopleNology for Business, Nollijy for LoversThe Realities of DebraCopyright Protected 2006Intellectual Property Rights HeldNo Distribution AllowedMechanicsburg, Pa 17055historypaper@msn.com peoplenology@hotmail.comWhispering Millers Valley .... Greg Bodenhamer GB091856A

Welcome to your own Voyage of Discovery.

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The secrets of you have been written and more amazing discoveries are revealed daily.
Today’s scientists and their discoveries will amaze the brightest of the human-race.