Love Biological Attraction Courtly love Erotomania Erotophobia Limerence Love Letters Marriage Personal relationship Physical intimacy Romanticism Romantic friendship Romance novel Sexual relationship Terms of endearment Valentine's Day
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.
In many cultural traditions, dates are arranged by a third party, who may be a family member, an acquaintance, or a dedicated matchmaker. Recently matchmaking services have become popular. Although dating rules in Western popular culture have become more relaxed during the 20th century, there is considerable variation between individuals' values. For example, when the activity costs money, it has traditionally been the man's role to pay (which naturally causes a problem for same-sex couples on a date); in recent times the practice of "going Dutch" (splitting the expenses) has emerged. Traditional dating activities include sharing entertainment or a meal. In general, a person may date many different partners during the same time period in order to have the best chance of finding their most suitable available mate.
Love represents a range of emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.
The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.
As an abstract concept love usually refers to a strong, ineffable feeling towards another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.
Spiritual love, or longing for God, is highly valued and sought after by many religions of both Eastern and Western origin.
Interpersonal attraction (known as biological attraction in animals) is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationships.
The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of study in social psychology. In a colloquial sense, interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. Interpersonal attraction can be thought of as a force acting between two people tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation. According to a personality psychologists' view, interpersonal attraction is a person's qualities that tend to attract by appealing to another person's desires.
When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account. Repulsion is also a factor in the process of interpersonal attraction, one's conception of "attraction" to another can vary from extreme attraction to extreme repulsion.
Courtly love was a medieval European conception of ennobling love which found its genesis in the ducal and princely courts of Aquitaine, Province, Champagne and ducal Burgundy, at the end of the eleventh century. In essence, courtly love was a contradictory experience between erotic desire and spiritual attainment, "a love at once illicit and morally elevating, passionate and disciplined, humiliating and exalting, human and transcendent".
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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The term "courtly love" was first popularized by Gaston Paris in 1883, and has since come under a wide variety of definitions and uses, even being dismissed as nineteenth-century romantic fiction. Its interpretation, origins and influences continue to be a matter of critical debate
Erotomania is a rare disorder in which a person holds a delusional belief that another person, usually of a higher social status, is in love with him or her.
Erotomania is also called de Clérambault's syndrome, after the French psychiatrist Gaëtan Gatian de Clérambault (1872–1934), who published a comprehensive review paper on the subject (Les Psychoses Passionelles) in 1921.
The term erotomania is also sometimes used in a less specific clinical sense meaning excessive pursuit of or preoccupation with love or sex (hyper sexuality). A less intense term that shares this meaning is erotolepsy, as coined by Thomas Hardy in Jude the Obscure.
Erotophobia is a term used by psychologists to describe sexuality on a personality scale. Erotophobes score high on one end of the scale that is characterized by expressions of guilt and fear about sex.
Erotophobes are less likely to talk about sex, have more negative reactions to sexually explicit material, and have sex less frequently and with fewer partners over time. In contrast, erotophiles score high on the opposite end of the scale, erotophilia, which is characterized by expressing less guilt about sex, talking about sex more openly, and holding more positive attitudes toward sexually explicit material.
Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses having intense feelings of attachment, preoccupations with the love object, and (as new research on brain chemistry shows) a similar mind-state to obsessive compulsive disorder.
According to Tennov, there are three types of love: limerence, what she calls "loving attachment" (the long-lasting love people are capable of having), and "loving affection," the bond that exists between an individual and his or her parents and children.
In her model, limerence is inherently temporary, lasting no more than three years.
It is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated.
Unlike English, many other languages have traditional terms to denote limerence, like the German Verliebtheit or Russian влюблённость (vlyublyonnost); both expressions may roughly be translated to “fallen-in-love-ness
A love letter is a romantic way to express feelings of love in written form. Sometimes sent in the mail, and increasingly by electronic mail, the letter may be anything from a short and simple message of love to a lengthy explanation of feelings.
Sometimes letters are preferable to face-to-face contact because they can be written as the thoughts come to the author. This may allow feelings to be more easily expressed than if the writer were in the beloved's presence.
Further, expressing strong emotional feelings to paper or some other permanent form can be an expression within itself of desire and the importance of the beloved and the lover's emotions. The expression of feelings may be made to an existing love or in the hope of establishing a new relationship. The increasing rarity and consequent emotional charm of personal mail may also serve to emphasize the emotional importance of the message.
Other times, especially in the past before the wide use of telecommunications, letters were one of the few ways for a couple to remain in contact. This was specially the case when one of them was posted or stationed some distance from the other.
This "being apart" often intensified emotions and many times a desired normal communication could lead to a letter expressing love, longing and desires. This was especially the case with large numbers of young men and women separated during times of wars.
Love Letters from Conflicts During these times, "love letters" were the only means of communication and soldiers even swapped addresses of desirable young ladies so that an initial communication and potential relationship could be started between them.
As with any letter, a love letter could be written in any structure or style. One historically popular method is as a sonnet or other form of poem. William Shakespeare's sonnets are often cited as good examples of how to write emotional themes. There have been published books collecting models and suggestions for love letters.
After the end of a relationship, returning love letters to the sender or burning them can symbolize the hurt felt. In the past, love letters also needed to be returned as a matter of honor: a love letter, particularly from a lady, could be compromising or embarrassing later in life.
Some stationery companies produce paper and envelopes specifically for love letters. Some of these are scented, though some people like to use their own perfume to strengthen the impact of the letter.
Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships (usually intimate and sexual) are acknowledged by the state or by religious authority. It is often viewed as a contract.
Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction. If recognized by the state, by the religion(s) to which the parties belong or by society in general, the act of marriage changes the personal and social status of the individuals who enter into it.
People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship.
Marriage may take many forms: for example, a union between one man and one woman as husband and wife is a monogamous heterosexual marriage; polygamy — in which a person takes more than one spouse — is common in many societies;
Recently, some jurisdictions and denominations have begun to recognize same-sex marriage, uniting people of the same sex.
A marriage is often formalized during a marriage ceremony,
which may be performed either by a religious officiant, by a secular State authorized officiator, or (in weddings that have no church or state affiliation) by a trusted friend of the wedding participants.
The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved and, in many societies, their extended families.
Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declares that "Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family.
They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution. Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses." The Cairo Declaration on Human Rights in Islam gives men and women the "right to marriage" regardless of their race, color or nationality, but not religion.
An interpersonal relationship is a relatively long-term association between two or more people. Such relationships may take place in the context of family, friends, marriage, acquaintances, work, neighborhoods, churches, and other social situations and organizations. Interpersonal relationships may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement.
They are the basis of social groups and society as a whole. Although humans are fundamentally social creatures, interpersonal relationships are not always healthy. Examples of unhealthy relationships include abusive relationships and codependence.
Most scholarly work on relationships focuses on romantic partners in pairs or dyads. These intimate relationships are, however, only a small subset of interpersonal relationships.
All relationships involve some level of interdependence. Therefore, anything that changes or impacts one member of the relationship will always have some level of impact on the other member(s).
The study of interpersonal relationships involves several branches of social science, including such disciplines as sociology, psychology, anthropology and social work.
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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Physical intimacy is sensual proximity and/or touching.
It can be enjoyed by itself and/or be an expression of feelings (such as close friendship, love, and/or sexual attraction) which people have for one another. Examples of physical intimacy include being inside someone's personal space, holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing, and sexual activity.
The forms of physical intimacy, in order of increasing degree of intimacy (but not necessarily in order of increasing enjoyment), with each form generally including those preceding it, are: physical closeness, touching (especially tenderly), touching intimate parts (including outer course), and sexual penetration.
Romanticism is a complex artistic, literary, and intellectual movement that originated in the second half of the 18th century in Western Europe, and gained strength during the Industrial Revolution.
It was partly a revolt against aristocratic social and political norms of the Age of Enlightenment and a reaction against the scientific rationalization of nature, and was embodied most strongly in the visual arts, music, and literature.
The movement stressed strong emotion as a source of aesthetic experience, placing new emphasis on such emotions as trepidation, horror and awe—especially that which is experienced in confronting the sublimity of untamed nature and its picturesque qualities, both new aesthetic categories.
It elevated folk art and custom to something noble, and argued for a "natural" epistemology of human activities as conditioned by nature in the form of language, custom and usage.
Our modern sense of a romantic character is sometimes based on Byronic or Romantic ideals. Romanticism reached beyond the rational and Classicist ideal models to elevate medievalism and elements of art and narrative perceived to be authentically medieval, in an attempt to escape the confines of population growth, urban sprawl and industrialism, and it also attempted to embrace the exotic, unfamiliar and distant in modes more authentic than chinoiserie, harnessing the power of the imagination to envision and to escape.
The ideologies and events of the French Revolution, rooted in Romanticism[citation needed], affected the direction it was to take, and the confines of the Industrial Revolution also had their influence on Romanticism, which was in part an escape from modern realities; indeed, in the second half of the nineteenth century, "Realism" was offered as a polarized opposite to Romanticism. Romanticism elevated the achievements of what it perceived as misunderstood heroic individuals and artists that altered society.
It also legitimized the individual imagination as a critical authority which permitted freedom from classical notions of form in art. There was a strong recourse to historical and natural inevitability, a Zeitgeist, in the representation of its ideas.
The term romantic friendship refers to a very close but non-sexual relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that common in modern Western societies, for example holding hands, cuddling, and sharing a bed.
Up until the second half of the 19th century, same-sex romantic friendships were considered common and unremarkable in the West, and were distinguished from the then-taboo homosexual relationships.
But in the second half of the 19th century, expression of this nature became more rare as physical intimacy between non-sexual partners came to be regarded with anxiety.
Several small groups of advocates and researchers have advocated for the renewed use of the term, or the related term Boston marriage, today. Several lesbian, gay, and feminist authors (such as Lillian Fader man, Stephanie Coontz, Jaclyn Geller and Esther Rothblum
have done academic research on the topic; these authors typically favor the social constructionist view that sexual orientation is a modern, culturally constructed concept.
Historian Stephanie Coontz writes of pre-modern customs in the United States:
Perfectly respectable Victorian women wrote to each other in terms such as these: ‘I hope for you so much, and feel so eager for you… that the expectation once more to see your face again, makes me feel hot and feverish.’
They recorded the ‘furnace blast’ of their ‘passionate attachments’ to each other... They carved their initials into trees, set flowers in front of one another’s portraits, danced together, kissed, held hands, and endured intense jealousies over rivals or small slights...
Today if a woman died and her son or husband found such diaries or letters in her effects, he would probably destroy them in rage or humiliation. In the nineteenth century, these sentiments were so respectable that surviving relatives often published them in elegies....
[In the 1920s] people’s interpretation of physical contact became extraordinarily ‘privatized and sexualized,’ so that all types of touching, kissing, and holding were seen as sexual foreplay rather than accepted as ordinary means of communication that carried different meanings in different contexts...
It is not that homosexuality was acceptable before; but now a wider range of behavior opened a person up to being branded as a homosexual... The romantic friendships that had existed among many unmarried men in the nineteenth century were no longer compatible with heterosexual identity.
A romance novel is a literary genre developed in Western culture, mainly in English-speaking countries. Novels in this genre place their primary focus on the relationship and romantic love between two people, and must have an "emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending."
Through the late 20th and early 21st centuries, these novels are commercially in two main varieties: category romances, which are shorter books with a one-month shelf-life, and single-title romances, which are generally longer with a longer shelf-life. Separate from their type, a romance novel can exist within one of many subgenres, including contemporary, historical, and paranormal.
One of the earliest romance novels was Samuel Richardson's popular 1740 novel Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded, which was revolutionary on two counts: it focused almost entirely on courtship and did so entirely from the perspective of a female protagonist. In the next century, Jane Austen expanded the genre, and her Pride and Prejudice is often considered the epitome of the genre. Austen inspired Georgette Heyer, who introduced historical romances in 1921.
A decade later, British company Mills and Boon began releasing the first category romance novels. Their books were resold in North America by Harlequin Enterprises Ltd, which began direct marketing to readers and allowing mass-market merchandisers to carry the books.
The modern romance genre was born in 1972 with Avon's publication of Kathleen Woodiwiss's The Flame and the Flower, the first single-title romance novel to be published as an original paperback.
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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The genre boomed in the 1980s, with the addition of many category romance lines and an increased number of single-title romances. Popular authors began pushing the boundaries of the genre and plots and characters began to modernize.
In North America, romance novels are the most popular genre in modern literature, comprising almost 55% of all paperback books sold in 2004. The genre is also popular in Europe and Australia, and romance novels appear in 90 languages. Most of the books, however, are written by authors from English-speaking countries, leading to an Anglo-Saxon perspective in the fiction. Despite the popularity and widespread sales of romance novels, the genre has attracted significant derision, skepticism and criticism
Generally speaking, human sexuality is how people experience and express themselves as sexual beings.
The study of human sexuality encompasses an array of social activities and an abundance of behaviors, actions, and societal topics. Biologically, sexuality can encompass sexual intercourse and sexual contact in all its forms, as well as medical concerns about the physiological or even psychological aspects of sexual behavior.
Sociologically, it can cover the cultural, political, and legal aspects; and philosophically, it can span the moral, ethical, theological, spiritual or religious aspects.
In many historical eras, recovered art and artifacts help to portray human sexuality of the time period
Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14. In the Americas and Europe, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery.
The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.
The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of "valentines." Modern Valentine symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid.
Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards.
The sending of Valentines was a fashion in nineteenth-century Great Britain, and, in 1847, Esther Howland developed a successful business in her Worcester, Massachusetts home with hand-made Valentine cards based on British models. The popularity of Valentine cards in 19th-century America was a harbinger of the future commercialization of holidays in the United States.
The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines cards are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association estimates that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.
Virtually any kind of physical touch can be seen as affectionate under the right circumstances, but common examples include: Holding hands Hugging: gently enclosing the arms around the trunk of each other or holding them against you Sitting on or lying against another person; resting one's head on the other's shoulder, lap, breast, chest, etc. Caressing (petting): gently stroking body parts or hair with a hand Tickling Massaging someone's back, legs or feet or other part. Kissing Spooning Sexual intercourse Rubbing or patting someone's belly, mostly for babies Patting the butt or swatting the back or upper arm. Tapping the legs .
An interpersonal relationship that does not involve sexual behavior, e.g. friendship, may involve affectionate touching. Friends may avoid physical intimacy to avoid associations with sexuality or emotional intimacy, in order not to appear to be in a sexual relationship. The definition of "sexual" physical intimacy varies greatly.
The connotations of different kinds of physical intimacy are largely culturally influenced. In western culture hugging is more common among women than men. In other cultures, such as Arab culture, men may hold hands with no implication of sexuality. Many East Asian cultures typically encourage relatively little body contact between friends, acquaintances, and members of the same sex. Even among family members and spouses, traditionally, there are fewer public displays of affection.
Whether a person is wearing clothing or is nude also plays a role.
hug
A cuddle party is a party where strangers cuddle, touch, caress, and massage, subject to rules such as no nudity, no hands under clothes, no French kisses and no dry humping or other sex.
Also a person, especially a child, may caress and hug a doll or stuffed animal.
In the Roman Catholic rite of the Holy Mass, immediately after the Doxology, the congregation will partake in the Pax or Rite of Peace.
In most Western churches, this involves a handshake and the words "Peace be with you." If the other party is someone known to you, a hug may be substituted. Spouses tend to hug and/or kiss each other first before using the traditional handshake and "Peace be with you" for the other surrounding members of the congregation.
Emotional intimacy is a dimension of interpersonal intimacy that varies in degree and over time, much like physical intimacy. Affect, emotion and feeling may refer to different phenomena. Emotional intimacy may refer to any or all of those in both a lay or a professional context.
Emotional intimacy can be observed in terms of verbal and non-verbal communication. The degree of comfort, effectiveness and mutual experience of closeness might indicate emotional intimacy between individuals. Intimate communication is both expressed (e.g. talking) and implied (e.g. friends sitting close on a park bench in silence). Emotional intimacy depends primarily on trust, as well as the nature of the relationship and the culture in which it is observed. Depending on the background and conventions of the participants, emotional intimacy might involve disclosing thoughts, feelings and emotions in order to reach an understanding, offer mutual support or build a sense of community. Or it might involve sharing a duty, without commentary. Compare physical intimacy, sympathy, empathy
Compassion is a profound human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering. It is often, though not inevitably, the key component in what manifests in the social context as altruism. In ethical terms,
the various expressions down the ages of the so-called Golden Rule embody by implication the principle of compassion: Do to others as you would have done to you. Ranked a great virtue in numerous philosophies, compassion is considered in all the major religious traditions as among the greatest of virtues.
To begin, many researchers distinguish feeling and emotion, where feeling refers to the subjective experience of the emotion.
Some believe that emotions can occur unconsciously, and hence that emotion is a more general phenomenon than its subjective feeling. Feelings may also more narrowly refer to the experience of bodily changes.
A second distinction focuses on the difference between the emotion and the cause of the emotion.
For example do we say that thoughts about a loved one cause the emotion of love or that these thoughts are part of the emotion? One way to resolve this issue is to see whether the emotion can occur independently of these thoughts.
Thus, thoughts about a particular person or situation could not be part of the emotion of love, since one can experience the same emotion about many other things. Yet could one experience love without some thought or other of a loved person or object?
If not, then we may stipulate that thoughts of a loved object are part of the emotion. Some theorists argue that at least some emotions can be caused without any thoughts or indeed 'cognitive activity' at all. They point to very immediate reactions (e.g. LeDoux 1996), as well as the conjectured emotions of infants and animals as justification here.
Debate on this point is ongoing but represents a major distinction between what are called 'cognitive' theories of emotions and 'non-cognitive' theories of emotions, where non-cognitive theories regard some other feature of emotions, such as bodily responses to be essential.
A related distinction is between the emotion and the results of the emotion, principally behaviors and emotional expressions.
People often behave in certain ways as a direct result of their emotional state, such as crying, fighting or fleeing. Yet again, if one can have the emotion without the corresponding behavior then we may consider the behavior not to be essential to the emotion. However some theorists such as Nico Frijda who hold a functionalist approach to emotions point to the idea that emotions have evolved for a particular function, such as to keep the subject safe.
If the behaviors associated with an emotion are the determining factor for the very existence of that emotion then goal-directed behavior should be regarded as essential to the emotion.
Yet since we recognize that the behavior need not necessarily occur, we can stipulate that emotions involve what are called 'action tendencies'. So for instance, fear involves the tendency to flee, which means that the probability that the subject will flee from a given situation is increased when he is undergoing fear
Since empathy involves understanding the emotions of other people, the way it is characterized is derivative of the way emotions themselves are characterized. If for example, emotions are taken to be centrally characterized by bodily feelings, then grasping the bodily feelings of another will be central to empathy.
On the other hand, if emotions are more centrally characterized by combinations of beliefs and desires, then grasping these beliefs and desires will be more essential to empathy.
Furthermore, a distinction should be made between deliberately imagining being another person, or being in their situation, and simply recognizing their emotion. The ability to imagine oneself as another person is a sophisticated imaginative process.
However the basic capacity to recognize emotions is probably innate and may be achieved unconsciously. Yet it can be trained, and achieved with various degrees of intensity or accuracy.
The human capacity to recognize the bodily feelings of another is related to one's imitative capacities, and seems to be grounded in the innate capacity to associate the bodily movements and facial expressions one sees in another with the proprioceptive feelings of producing those corresponding movements or expressions oneself.
Humans also seem to make the same immediate connection between the tone of voice and other vocal expressions and inner feeling. See neurological basis below.
There is some debate concerning how exactly the conscious experience (or phenomenology) of empathy should be characterized.
The basic idea is that by looking at the facial expressions or bodily movements of another, or by hearing their tone of voice, one may get an immediate sense of how they feel (as opposed to more intellectually noting the behavioral symptoms of their emotion).
Though empathic recognition is likely to involve some form of arousal in the empathizer, they may not experience this feeling as belonging to their own body, but instead likely to perceptually locate the feeling 'in' the body of the other person. Alternatively the empathizer may instead get a sense of an emotional 'atmosphere' or that the emotion belongs equally to all the parties involved.
More fully developed empathy requires more than simply recognizing another's emotional state. Since emotions are typically directed towards objects or states of affairs, the empathizer may first require some idea of what that object might be (where object can include imaginary objects, concepts, other people, or even the empathizer).
Alternatively the recognition of the feeling may precede the recognition of the object of that emotion, or even aid the empathizer in discovering the object of the other's emotion.
The empathizer may also need to determine how the emotional state affects the way in which the other perceives the object. For example, the empathizer needs to determine which aspects of the object to focus on. Hence it is often not enough that the empathizer recognize the object toward which the other is directed, plus the bodily feeling, and then simply add these components together. Rather the empathizer needs to find the way into the loop where perception of the object affects feeling and feeling affects the perception of the object.
The following sequence of examples identifies some of the major factors in empathizing with another.
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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A public display of affection (sometimes abbreviated PDA) is the physical demonstration of affection for another person while in the view of others. For example, holding hands or kissing in public are commonly defined as public displays of affection.
(More far-reaching forms of intimacy could be considered indecent exposure).
While the term is generally considered an American term, every culture has written and unwritten rules for showing affection in public.
Individual and societal opinions on the public display of affection can vary significantly, and such displays are sometimes considered in bad taste. In some jurisdictions, the public display of affection may even be criminal.
If the partners enjoy being seen affectionate towards each other in public, it may be considered a mild form of exhibitionism. Alternatively, the partners may be indifferent to what others can see, and therefore are not inhibited by it. Finally, the partners may prefer more privacy, but may simply tolerate being seen by others.
Some may find it pleasant to view others publicly display affection, which may be considered a mild form of voyeurism.
In places that already hold a "looser" atmosphere, such as in bars, nightclubs, and strip clubs public displays of affection are rarely considered to be as objectionable (if objectionable at all). In these places acts such as grinding and French kissing are commonplace.
In many societies, public displays of affection may be tolerated even less among minority couples.
For example, gay couples could be at risk of encountering aggression from homophobic onlookers. While such public displays of affection could trigger hate violence, some gay rights advocates have used public displays of affection as a means of defiance, treating them as political acts.
For example, at McGill University, the Queer McGill organization stages "kiss-ins" in which gay couples kiss in public areas on the university's campus. In many places around the world, couples of differing race, religion, or tribe may be subject to similar intolerance
Two or more people voluntarily hold hands for one of the following reasons and purposes: in various rituals: handshake in certain religious services, to pray in various occult rituals to express friendship or love to enjoy physical intimacy (not necessarily of erotic character) for emotional support to guide (a child, a blind person, in darkness, etc.) to urge to follow to keep together (in a crowd or in darkness) to help the other walk, stand or climb up to dance to arm wrestle.
Whether friends hold hands depends on culture and gender: in the Western culture this is mainly done by women and small children.
In Arab countries, Africa and some parts of Asia it is done also by men. It is also fairly common to see teenage girls holding hands as a sign of friendship. On Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's 2007 visit of Iran he was publicly holding hands with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
In modern Western culture, kissing is most commonly an expression of affection.
Between people of close acquaintance, a reciprocal kiss often is offered as a greeting or farewell.
This kind of kiss is typically made by brief contact of puckered lips to the skin of the cheek or no contact at all, and merely performed in the air near the cheek with the cheeks touching.
People sometimes kiss children on the forehead or cheek to comfort them or show affection, and vice versa.
As an expression of romantic affection or sexual desire in Western culture, kissing involves two people pressing their lips together with an intensity of sexual feeling. A couple may open their mouths, suck on each other's lips or move their tongues into each others' mouths (see French kiss).
Romantic or sexual kissing may also involve kissing various parts of another's body (see Foreplay) such as the neck, the ears, the breasts, the navel, the genitals, etc.
In Eastern European countries and Slavic cultures until recent times, kissing between two men on the lips as a greeting or a farewell was not uncommon and not considered sexual.
In recent years there has been a rise in eccentric shaped kissing, the most popular of which is the square kiss,
involving contorting the lips to a square pucker. Square kissing is most prominent in Glasgow and the surrounding areas.
Symbolic kissing is frequent in Western cultures.
A kiss can be "blown" to another by kissing the fingertips and then blowing the fingertips in the direction of the recipient. This is used to convey affection, usually when parting or when the partners are physically distant but can view each other. Blown kisses are also used when a person wishes to convey affection to a large crowd or audience. In written correspondence a kiss has been represented by the letter 'X' since at least 1763.
A stage or screen kiss may be performed by actually kissing, or faked by using the thumbs as a barrier for the lips and turning so the audience is unable to fully see the act.
What constitutes indecent exposure depends on the standards of decency of the community where the exposure takes place.
These standards can vary from the very strict standards of modesty imposed on women by the Taliban regime of Afghanistan, which imposed the wearing of the Burqa . In Pakistan, exposure of any part of an adult woman's body is considered indecent except for arms up to elbows, feet and head including neck; however, wearing half sleeves and keeping the head uncovered are considered liberal and modern rather than the norm.
Even within a community, what will be seen as indecent will also depend on the context in which the exposure takes place.
For example, it would be a reasonable expectation to see a naked person on a designated nude beach. However, even on that beach it may not be expected to witness explicit sexual activity. Indecent exposure is normally understood to be exposure of an adult's genitalia, but it may also involve masturbation, sexual intercourse, and the like in a public place.
The standards of decency may also vary over time. During the Victorian era, for example, exposure of a woman's legs was considered indecent in much of the Western world.
As late as the 1930s, both women and men were largely prevented from bathing or swimming in public places without wearing bathing suits that covered above the waist. An adult woman exposing her navel was also considered indecent in the West up through as late as the 1960s and 1970s.
Today, however, it is quite common for women to go topless at public beaches throughout Europe, South America, Australia and New Zealand.
What qualifies as indecent exposure varies with the authority having jurisdiction. Indecent exposure is often prohibited as a criminal offense.
For example, before the Labor Party of the United Kingdom revised the law, "indecent exposure" was defined exclusively as a man exposing his erect penis to the public.
Although the phenomenon widely known as flashing may be free from sexual motive or intent, it nonetheless requires the public exposure of the genitals and/or breasts and is therefore defined by statute in many states of the United States as prohibited criminal behavior.
The motivation of the exposure is sometimes based on it being unusual and/or inappropriate, such as when it is for fun, as a protest, or to show disrespect; the effects (including negative consequences) may be enhanced by intended or unintended publication of a photograph or film of the act.
See also mooning.
Breastfeeding does not constitute indecent exposure under the laws of the United States, Canada, Australia, or Scotland.
In the United States, the federal government and the majority of states have enacted laws specifically protecting nursing mothers from harassment by others. Legislation ranges from simply exempting breastfeeding from laws regarding indecent exposure, to outright full protection of the right to nurse.
Exhibitionism, known variously as flashing, apodysophilia and Lady Godiva syndrome, is the psychological need and pattern of behavior involving the exposure of parts of the body to another person with a tendency toward an extravagant,
usually at least partially sexually inspired behavior to attract the attention of another in an open display of bare "private parts" — i.e., parts of the human body which would otherwise be left covered under clothing in nearly all other cultural circumstances. Some researchers have claimed that telephone scat logia is a variant of exhibitionism.
A research team asked a sample of 185 exhibitionists, “How would you have preferred a person to react if you were to expose your privates to him or her?” The most common response was “Would want to have sexual intercourse” (35.1%), followed by “No reaction necessary at all” (19.5%), “To show their privates also” (15.1%), “Admiration” (14.1%), and “Any reaction” (11.9%). Only very few exhibitionists chose “Anger and disgust” (3.8%) or “Fear” (0.5).
Various types of behavior is classified as exhibitionistic. These include:
Flashing is the display by a woman of bare breasts with an up-and-down lifting of the shirt and/or bra, or the display by a man of his bare penis.
Mooning is the display of one's bare buttocks — both in a sexual, exhibitionistic context (almost always by females) and also when done (usually by men) for shock value. In Australia and New Zealand this is sometimes known as a brown eye.
Anasyrma is lifting up of one's skirt to expose bare genitals, for varied reasons, but most often to please the exhibitionist.
Martymachlia is a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to having others watch the execution of a sexual act.
Typically, the part(s) of the body exposed when referring to "flashing" are bare female breasts and/or buttocks. In theory, however, flashing and exhibitionism can also involve the genitalia or buttocks of either gender. A "male flasher" stands in stark comparison to this definition as the latter usually refers to a male indecently exposing his penis to an unwilling observer.
Usually, flashing is done as a momentary "thrill" to inflate the ego of the flasher while having the "added bonus" of increasing the sexual arousal of the recipient(s).
Exhibitionists who view exhibitionism as a lifestyle as opposed to a rare thrill, however, more carefully select their target audience and make the exposure brief, inconspicuous and apparently unintentional.
While all exhibitionism is, whether on the end of the giver or the receiver, ultimately a sexual fetish, many practitioners see it as an art form. Night clubs and Goth bars encourage mild exhibitionism to enhance the venue's atmosphere. This all contrasts with non-sexualized social nudity, in which the exposure is not connected with sexual expression, such as sunbathing or swimming at nude beaches or other participation in public nudity events where nudity is the norm.
Some exhibitionists wish to display themselves sexually to other people singly or in groups. This can be done consensually as part of swinging or group sex. When not done threateningly, the intent is usually to surprise and/or sexually arouse the viewer, giving the exhibitionist an ego rush.
Some people like to expose themselves in front of large crowds, typically at sporting events; see streaking. A similar phenomenon is when, at the conclusion of a sporting event, a woman may flash her breasts while sitting atop someone's shoulders in a dense crowd of people.
Other exhibitionists like to go beyond physical exposure and use the internet to distribute their stories and pictures on websites, sometimes using webcam feeds and other amateur methods.
A further purpose here could be to further sexually arouse the recipient by giving the impression that the exposure is "first time" and/or "innocent Voyeurism is the sexual interest in spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or urinating.
It is classified as a paraphilia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association.
The diagnosis would not be given to people who experience typical sexual arousal simply by seeing nudity or sexual activity; the aspect of spying is central to paraphilic voyeurism.
The word derives from French verb voir (to see) with the -eur suffix that translates as -er in English. A literal translation would then be “seer” or "observer", with pejorative connotations.
Also, the word voyeur can define someone who receives enjoyment from witnessing other people's suffering or misfortune
Anasyrma Candaulism Dogging (sexual slang) Human sexual behavior Human sexuality Indecent exposure List of sexology topics Mooning Reflect porn Sexual fetishism Sexually liberal feminism Sheela na Gig Streaking Voyeurism
A strip club is a nightclub or bar that offers striptease (the erotic removal of a performer's clothing) and possibly other related services such as lap dances. While usually considered much less objectionable than more explicit adult entertainment such as live sex shows, they are often the focus of morality campaigns and restrictive legislation.
High-end establishments tend to be known as "Gentlemen's Clubs". More down-market competitors may be referred to as titty bars, nipple derbies, skin bars, girly bars, or go-go bars. Sometimes, they are referred to as men's clubs (not to be confused with working men's clubs). In a bikini bar, dancers must not disrobe completely.
Performers are called strippers, exotic dancers or just dancers, or entertainers. House dancers work for a particular club or franchise.
Feature dancers tend to have their own celebrity, touring a club circuit making appearances. Porn stars will often become feature dancers to earn extra income and build their fan base. However, some dancers are simply college students or single mothers attracted by comparatively high pay.
Dancers collect tips from customers either while on stage or after the dancer has finished a stage show and is mingling with the audience. A typical tip is a dollar bill folded lengthwise and placed in the dancer's garter.
Where legal (or legal restrictions are ignored), dancers may offer additional services such as lap dances or a trip to the champagne room, for a set fee rather than a tip.
This fee will typically include a set fee for the room, for a set amount of time. usually ranging from half an hour to an hour. The fee will typically include a "complimentary" bottle of champagne.
The bottle of champagne is normally ranging in actual cost for the club, between $3–$200 depending on the brand one chooses. Also, if you elect to buy a better bottle of champagne, you may get more time in the room "on the house". These fees rarely include the cost for the dancer's time, which will always go up the more amount of time you spend in the room, regardless of how much one may spend on the bottle of champagne.
These fees also do not include, the tip for the waitress who brings the bottle, or the manager who arranges the set up in the room. Nearly every person one comes in contact with inside a strip club, that is in some way staff, is looking for or expecting a tip.
For example, on average, a single trip the champagne room, with the dancer of your choice, will range in price from $100–$2000, with the typical price being $300 for a half hour.
In the U.S., striptease dancers are generally classified as independent contractors. While a few smaller strip clubs may pay a weekly wage, for the most part all of a dancer's income is derived from tips and other fees they collect from customers.
In most clubs, dancers have to pay a "stage fee" or "house fee" in order to work a given shift, which can range from $10 to $100 or more for larger, high-end clubs. In addition, most clubs take a percentage of each private dance. It is customary—and often required in the United States—for dancers to also pay a "tip out", which is money (either a set fee or a percentage of money earned) paid to staff members of clubs, such as DJs, house moms, make-up artists, servers, bartenders, and bouncers, at the end of their shift.
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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Grinding is a type of close partner dance where two or more dancers rub their bodies (especially the genitalia) against each other in a sexually suggestive manner. It is popular in the house and hip-hop dance styles.
It is often performed at nightclubs and parties that play house and hip-hop music. It has also gained popularity at high school and middle school dances across the Western world, where there have been cases of administrators attempting to ban it.
Dancing which consists mainly of grinding has also been referred to as freak dancing or freaking.
Elements of "grinding" may be seen in the 1987 movie Dirty Dancing. Lambada was a dance craze that featured grinding actions, as seen, for example, in the movies The Forbidden Dance and Lambada.
When a group of people line up to dance this style it is called a Grinding chain.
Perreo is a Reggaeton style of grinding.
A French kiss is a kiss, usually romantic or sexual in nature, in which one participant's tongue touches the other's tongue and usually enters his or her mouth.
It is also known as tongue kissing, pash, hooking up, mugging it up, making-out, macking on, necking, getting into, snog, slipping the tongue, popping tongue, sucking face, swapping spit, deep kissing, getting off with, pulling, tongue wrestling, tonsil tennis, tonsil hockey, necking, Frencher (Quebec) and frenching.
An older name for 'French kissing' is cat glottis, from cata (down), glottis (throat). In French, it is simply embracer avec la langue (literally, to kiss with the tongue) or rouler une pelle (to roll a shovel), emballer and other terms.
French kissing stimulates the lips, tongue and mouth, which are all areas very sensitive to touch, and the practice is considered to be pleasurable, highly intimate, and sexually arousing. Unlike other forms of kissing (such as brief kisses in greeting or friendship), episodes of French kissing may often be prolonged, intense, and passionate.
French kissing may occur before, during, and after vaginal intercourse, anal sex, frottage, mutual masturbation, or other sexual activity and before, during, and after orgasm. Because of its potential for arousing sexual feelings in bystanders, (or outrage, amusement, derision, or disgust) and because of its strong association as a prelude to sex,
'French kissing' as a public display of affection is typically discouraged in most parts of the world, particularly for an extended time.
Studying animal behavior, Thierry Lodé
, an evolutionary biologist, argues that the French kiss has a real function: to explore the sexual partner's immune system via the saliva. Initiating the sexual desire, the French kiss allows the partners to avoid inbreeding (see also sexual conflict).
The exchange of saliva in a French kiss may increase the chances of catching an orally transmitted disease such as Infectious mononucleosis (American: Mononucleosis or, colloquially, "mono"; European: glandular fever).
Homosexuality refers to sexual behavior with or attraction to people of the same sex, or to a homosexual orientation. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality refers to "having sexual and romantic attraction primarily or exclusively to members of one’s own sex"; "it also refers to an individual’s sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviors expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them."
Homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality together make up the three main classifications of sexual orientation and are the factors in the Heterosexual-homosexual continuum. The exact proportion of the population that is homosexual is difficult to estimate reliably, but most recent studies place it at 2–7%.
Sexual orientation is also distinguished from other aspects of sexuality, "including biological sex (the anatomical, physiological, and genetic characteristics associated with being male or female), gender identity (the psychological sense of being male, female or other), and social gender role (adherence to cultural norms defining feminine and masculine behavior)."
Etymologically, the word homosexual is a Greek and Latin hybrid with homos (sometimes confused with the later Latin meaning of "man", as in Homo sapiens) deriving from the Greek word for same, thus connoting sexual acts and affections between members of the same sex, including lesbianism.
The word gay generally refers to male homosexuality, but is sometimes used in a broader sense, especially in the me, to refer to homosexuality in general. In the context of sexuality, the word lesbian always denotes female homosexuality.
There is much evidence of both acceptance and repression of homosexual behavior throughout recorded history. During the last several decades, there has been a trend towards increased visibility, recognition, and legal rights for homosexuals, including marriage and civil unions, parenting rights, and equal access to health care.
Online dating: Instead of using a traditional matchmaker, online dating uses specifically targeted websites to meet new people. Speed dating: Where a group of people get together for several hours in a public place to get to know one another better.
At one of these speed dating events, each person usually sits with another single member for a set period of time to get to know them better, and then at the predetermined time is asked to move and sit with someone else to repeat the process.
Mobile dating/cell phone dating: Where text messages to and from a mobile/cell phone carrier are used to show interest in others on the system. Can be web-based or online dating as well depending on the company. Virtual dating: A combination of video game playing and dating, where users create avatars and spend time in virtual worlds in an attempt to meet other avatars with the purpose of meeting for potential dates. Singles events:
Where a group of singles are brought together to take part in various events for the purposes of meeting new people. Events can include such things as parties, workshops and games
Anonymous matching is a matchmaking method facilitated by computer databases, in which each user confidentially selects people they are interested in dating and the computer identifies and reports matches to pairs of users who share a mutual attraction.
The purpose is to allow people to initiate romantic relationships while avoiding the risk of embarrassment, awkwardness, and other negative consequences associated with unwanted romantic overtures and rejection. The general concept was patented on September 7, 1999 by David J. Blumberg and DoYouDo chief executive officer Gil S. Sudai, but several websites were already employing the methodology by that date, and thus apparently were allowed to continue using it
. United States Patent 5,950,200 points out several potential flaws in traditional courtship and in conventional dating systems in which strangers meet online, promoting anonymous matching of friends and acquaintances as a better alternative: Human relationships are often fraught with difficulties. In addition, human beings are risk-adverse.
Often, even when two people want to initiate first steps in a relationship, neither person takes action because of shyness, fear of rejection, or other societal pressures or constraints. Various systems exist that help people meet each other. For example, computer dating services allow people to view video tapes or pictures of prospective partners or to choose common areas of hobbies.
Two people are introduced only if both agree with the idea. Unfortunately, in such situations, neither person has actually met the other when they are finally introduced.
Neither person has ever met the other, and there is a certain amount of shyness and fear of rejection when they first meet in such a situation. In addition, both persons must initially approach the dating service. For some people, such an action can also be embarrassing. What is needed is a safe, simple, confidential, and non-judgmental way for people to reveal their true feelings and interests without risk of embarrassment or rejection
A blind date is a date where the people involved have not met each other previously. The match could have been arranged by mutual friends or by a dating system.
Blind dates are becoming more commonplace following the rise of the Internet, when people who have met in chat rooms, Instant Messaging or forums finally agree to meet in person. Afterwards, they go to a place where they can have time to talk and get to know one another.
Dating coaches advise people meeting on a blind date to avoid a restaurant for the first meeting. They encourage a location such as a botanical garden, art gallery, park, promenade or an open-air concert -- any location that gives the couple the opportunity to talk, move around and provides something interesting to refer to during awkward silences.
Another recommendation is to engage in "airplane talk" -- casual conversation about each other's backgrounds, hobbies, interests and careers (don't dwell on any one subject for too long), and other topics that tell something about each other -- but don't reveal information that should be reserved for someone you know well.
Some conversation starters - conversation that will help each one learn a little bit about each other's values and way of thinking, and will also form the basis for more conversation on the second date:
Who do you most admire? How did they inspire you? What has been the most satisfying achievement of your life? Is there something you've always dreamt about doing? What is your most treasured possession, and why?
A box social in the United States is a form of fundraiser, wherein donated lunch boxes are auctioned off for a cause (often a civic, church, or school charity).
Usually a woman creates a lunch, which is then auctioned off. Varying somewhat, the custom was for the person who had prepared or donated the box lunch to go on a date with the person who won the lunch with the highest bid, or at the event sit with that person and share the lunch.
In the U.S. state of Vermont the tradition is that women decorate a cardboard box, fill it with a lunch or dinner for two, and the men bid on the boxes anticipating a meal with the woman who brought the box.
The event frequently takes place in a town hall, school gymnasium, or church hall. The bidding involves competition, and a fair bit of joking and teasing.
The practice had fallen out of favor with young people in the 1970s–1990s, but has seen some resurgence in recent years. The rules today have become less rigid, men now provide boxes as well, but the goal remains the same: raising money for a school, church, or civic project
Childhood sweetheart - is a reciprocating phrase for a relationship (but not a partnership) between young persons, traditionally of the opposite sex (Girlfriend / Boyfriend) occurring in their formative years (school age). This may come about by an extension of friendship, physical attraction or develop from natural affinity.
The relationship is usually platonic and lasts a short to medium period of time. This experience forms the basis of subsequent future relationships later in childhood and/or adulthood.
Usually, an individual will have up to only one childhood sweetheart as this term is indicative of a milestone in the growth, development and maturity of a young person. In ideal circumstances, the term applies mutually to both parties and corresponds both ways, hence the plural being childhood sweethearts.
The relationship may involve romantic love or may be an extension of a close friendship. Often, intimacy by way of kissing will occur in order to show affection. This is in addition to hugging / cuddling, holding hands, etc. The term first love may also apply in certain situations.
Occasionally in later years, these friendships are 'rekindled' following separations or passing of their adult partners which lead to a later life marriage, union etc. These instances are notable as they are made popular by media coverage.
Courtship is the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. During a courtship, a couple dates to get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement. Usually courtship is a public affair, done in public and with family approval.
It includes activities such as dating where couple go together for a dinner, a movie, dance parties, a picnic, shopping or general "hanging out", along with other forms of activity.
Acts such as meeting on the internet or virtual dating, chatting on-line, sending text messages or picture messages, conversing over the telephone, writing each other letters, and sending each other flowers, songs, and gifts constitute wooing.
The term "date rape" refers to the non-consensual sexual activity between people who are known to each other either platonically or sexually. These particular instances of sexual assault take place during a social interaction between the rapist and the victim, hence the name date rape.
It may be planned or spontaneous. The majority of young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance.
Drug facilitated rape
In some cases, "date rape drugs" such as GHB flunitrazepam , temazepam, midazolam, and ketamine may be used to neutralize resistance or render the victim unconscious. Such drugs will usually also affect memory of the event.
Alcohol remains the drug most frequently implicated in substance-assisted sexual assault. Memory loss of the event can lead to an inability to later prosecute as the victim will not remember the exact circumstances of the attack. As such, date rape is difficult to prove in most judicial systems.
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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Amnesia can be a side-effect of benzodiazepines and can be utilized in a therapeutic setting to reduce unpleasant memories from investigatory medical procedures, e.g., endoscopies. All benzodiazepines can be used as date-rape drugs, but flunitrazepam (Rohypnol), clonazepam (Klonopin), midazolam (Versed), and temazepam (Restoril) are the most commonly used.
Dating Do's and Don'ts is a 1949 instructional film designed for high schools, to teach adolescents basic dating skills, produced by Coronet Instructional Films and directed by Gilbert Altschul with the assistance of Reuben Hill, Research Professor of Family Life at the University of North Carolina. In this film, the boy is the sole initiator of any contact with the girl, and all arrangements are made under the warm supervision of the family, particularly a matriarchal housewife for a mother.
The film follows a young adolescent boy, Woody, who receives tickets for "one couple" to the Hi Teen Carnival. At different stages in the film, it offers options on how Woody might respond to various situations:
What kind of girl should he date?
How should he ask her out?
How should he say good night after the date is over?
The film then shows three options, for each opportunity, ending with what it deems the most successful.
This allows the filmmakers to create an idealized scenario for a perfect first date. Woody is cautioned not to ask a girl out based on her looks as she could be aloof or boring. Instead he should ask a girl who is "fun."
He is similarly told to be straightforward and not to insist that his potential date give up some other activity for him. Finally, the film depicts the perceived danger of immediately kissing the girl good night, or of just leaving her at her door, and instead urges the viewers to say a friendly goodbye, ending with a promise to call next week.
As Woody prepares for his date with Anne, he receives hints from his older brother, who is already an expert at dating; for instance, Woody's brother tells Woody to act like his "natural, talkative self" while on the phone, and says that Woody does not have to bring Anne flowers on her first date.
e also convinces their mother to allow Woody to go on his first date even though he is young, with her adding that it would be acceptable provided that Woody only dates on weekends and comes home at a reasonable hour. As Woody prepares for his date, his mother and father reflect on their own first dates to remind Woody how important it is for him to show up on time. His mother adds that any girl who is not ready for him on time is not worthy of going out with "my boy."
Sex education may also be described as "sexuality education," which means that it encompasses education about all aspects of sexuality, including information about family planning, reproduction (fertilization, conception and development of the embryo and fetus, through to childbirth), plus information about all aspects of one's sexuality including: body image, sexual orientation, sexual pleasure, values, decision making, communication, dating, relationships, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and how to avoid them, and birth control methods.
Sex education may be taught informally, such as when someone receives information from a conversation with a parent, friend, religious leader, or through the media. It may also be delivered through sex self-help authors, magazine advice columnists, sex columnists, or through sex education web sites. Formal sex education occurs when schools or health care providers offer sex education.
Sometimes formal sex education is taught as a full course as part of the curriculum in junior high school or high school. Other times it is only one unit within a more broad health class, home economics class, or physical education class.
Some schools offer no sex education, since it remains a controversial issue in several countries, particularly the United States (especially with regard to the age at which children should start receiving such education, the amount of detail that is revealed, and topics dealing with human sexual behavior, eg. safe sex practices, masturbation, premarital sex, and sexual ethics).
In 1936, Wilhelm Reich commented that sex education of his time was a work of deception, focusing on biology while concealing excitement-arousal, which is what a pubescent individual is mostly interested in. Reich added that this emphasis obscures what he believed to be a basic psychological principle: that all worries and difficulties originate from unsatisfied sexual impulses.
When sex education is contentiously debated, the chief controversial points are whether covering child sexuality is valuable or detrimental; the use of birth control such as condoms and hormonal contraception; and the impact of such use on pregnancy outside marriage, teenage pregnancy, and the transmission of STIs. Increasing support for abstinence-only sex education by conservative groups has been one of the primary causes of this controversy. Countries with conservative attitudes towards sex education (including the UK and the U.S.) have a higher incidence of STIs and teenage pregnancy.
The existence of AIDS has given a new sense of urgency to the topic of sex education. In many African nations, where AIDS is at epidemic levels (see HIV/AIDS in Africa), sex education is seen by most scientists as a vital public health strategy.
Some international organizations such as Planned Parenthood consider that broad sex education programs have global benefits, such as controlling the risk of overpopulation and the advancement of women's rights (see also reproductive rights).
According to SIECUS, the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, 93% of adults they surveyed support sexuality education in high school and 84% support it in junior high school.
In fact, 88% of parents of junior high school students and 80% of parents of high school students believe that sex education in school makes it easier for them to talk to their adolescents about sex.
Also, 92% of adolescents report that they want both to talk to their parents about sex and to have comprehensive in-school sex education
Sexual ethics is a category of ethics that pertain to acts falling within the broad spectrum of human sexual behavior, sexual intercourse in particular.
Broadly speaking questions of sexual ethics can be organized into issues related to consent, issues related to the institution of marriage such as marital fidelity and premarital and non-marital sex, issues related to sexuality, questions about how gender and power are expressed through sexual behavior, questions about how individuals relate to society, and questions about how individual behavior impacts public health concerns.
Ethical dilemmas which involve sex can often appear in situations where there is a significant power difference or where there is a pre-existing professional relationship between the participants, or where consent is partial or uncertain.
Sexual ethics can also include the ethics of procreation: "is it ethical to create a child in an overpopulated world?", "Is it ethical to have children if they would be born into poverty
Adultery is the voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and another person who is not his or her spouse, though in many places it is only considered adultery when a married woman has sexual relations with someone who is not her husband. In most cases, in western countries, only the married party is said to have committed adultery, and if both parties are married (but not to each other) then they both commit separate acts of adultery. In other countries, both parties to the adultery are considered guilty, while in others again only the woman is able to commit adultery and to be considered guilty.
Adultery is also referred to as extramarital sex, philandary or infidelity but does not include fornication. The term "adultery" for many people carries a moral or religious association, while the term "extramarital sex" is morally or judgmentally neutral.
The interaction between laws on adultery with those on rape has and does pose particular problems in societies which are especially sensitive to sexual relations by a married woman, such as some Muslim countries.
The difference between the offenses is that adultery is voluntary, while rape is not. If a woman claims that she has been raped, and the offense cannot be proved, then a conclusion that the sexual relations were voluntary may be drawn, and the consequences of adultery may result, including an honor killing. In those circumstances, a woman victim would be reluctant to report a rape against her.
The term adultery has a Judeo-Christian origin, though the concept of marital fidelity predates Judaism and is found in many other societies. Though the definition and consequences vary between religions, cultures and legal jurisdictions, the concept is similar in Judaism, Christianity and Islam, and Hinduism has a similar concept. But the word should be used cautiously when discussing various cultures, some of which permit less permanent forms of marriage, or even sexual "lending".
Historically, adultery has been considered to be a serious offense by many cultures. In some countries, adultery is a crime. However, even in jurisdictions where adultery is not itself a criminal offense, it may still have legal consequences, particularly in divorce cases. For example it may constitute grounds for divorce, it may be a factor to consider in a property settlement, it may affect the status of children, the custody of children, etc. Moreover adultery can result in social ostracism in some parts of the world.
It has been claimed that adultery results from a mental disorder.
Whether correct or not, adultery is common. Three recent studies in the United States, using nationally representative samples, have found that about 10-15% of women and 20-25% of men had engaged in extramarital sex.
An affair may refer to a form of nonmonogamy, to infidelity or to adultery. Where an affair lacks both overt and covert sexual behavior and yet exhibits intense or enduring emotional intimacy it is called an emotional affair. 'Affair' may be used as a euphemism and in some cases to add glamour to an illicit liaison or it may be used to slander.
Affair has the same word origins as affect — an affair implies bonds of affection, but not necessarily so. Some affairs are premeditatively cold, exploitative or designed to extract information or to provide the basis for later blackmail or grounds for divorce.
In the most general sense, affair may be used to connote professional, personal, or public business. These include meetings or other functions, or tasks that need to be completed. For example, one might say, "I have other affairs to attend to at the moment." It may also refer to a particular business or private activity, as in family affair or private affair.
An affair, in the political sense, typically refers to any kind of involvement in illicit business by any kind of public representatives, such as in the Watergate affair. Like the earlier definition this is not always the case — for example the British Government has a Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, which is a perfectly legitimate (and usually honorable) position
Some have argued that the widespread occurrence of extramarital affairs is polygamy by stealth. These are relationships where an illicit sexual, romantic relationship or a romantic friendship, passionate attachment occurs alongside a monogamous relationship.
Those extramarital affairs that continue in one form or another for decades, even as one of the partners to that affair passes through a marriage, divorce and remarriage. Over that length of time one could consider the affair the primary relationship and the marriages secondary to it — a case of serial polygamy or other forms of nonmonogamy.
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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The ability to pursue serial affairs or marriages in this way whilst safeguarding the conflict of interest inherent in the practice, requires considerable skill in deception and negotiation.
Deception is the "covert manipulation of perception to alter thoughts, feeling, or beliefs". It points to the degree to which the deceiver may breach fundamental conditions of fidelity, reciprocal vulnerability and transparency assumed as pre-conditions of committed intimate relationships.
Affair is not only used to describe cheating but may also describe part of an agreement referred to as open marriage, which sanctions some extramarital affairs and not others. When one of the non-sanctioned affairs occurs it is described as infidelity and often experienced as a betrayal both of trust and integrity.
Affairs are sometimes accompanied by scandal. When used in this context, "affair" usually implies sexual impropriety, but that is not necessarily the case. For example, in the classic film An Affair to Remember, the love affair in question might be considered acceptable from some moral standpoints. However, an emotional affair can be as devastating for the one who is excluded or betrayed by it as if a full sexual liaison had occurred. By contrast the film Dangerous Liaisons shows many sides to a culture of illicit affairs between the main characters. It explores the escalating costs of covert and immoral adventures.
The linkage of sex and romance with affair provides the basis for entertainment in advertising, art, literature, film, plays and in TV soaps. It can fuel crusades against monogamy or promoting the value of monogamy.
The term concubine generally signifies ongoing, quasi-matrimonial relationships where the woman is of lower social status than the man or the official wife or wives. Some historical Asian and European rulers maintained concubines as well as wives.
Historically, concubinage was frequently voluntary (by the girl and/or her family's arrangement), as it provided a measure of economic security for the woman involved. Involuntary, or servile, concubinage sometimes involves sexual slavery of one member of the relationship, typically the woman, being a pleasure slave to the man.
Where it has a legal status, as in ancient Rome, and in ancient China, concubinage is akin, although inferior, to marriage. In opposition to those laws, traditional Western laws do not acknowledge the legal status of concubines, but rather only admit monogamous marriages. Any other relationship does not enjoy legal protection; the woman is essentially a mistress.
"Cuckold" is derived from the Old French for the Cuckoo bird, "Cocu" with the pejorative suffix -ald. The earliest written use of the Middle English derivation, “cokewold” occurs in 1250. The females of certain varieties of Cuckoo lay their eggs in other bird’s nests, freeing themselves from the need to nurture the eggs to hatching. In medieval Europe, the law, custom, and the church all defined married women as a category of property held by their husbands. Although Christian marriage vows strictly enjoined sexual exclusivity in a marriage for both partners, custom rarely enforced it on the husband (although Catholic doctrine holds infidelity by either party to be a mortal sin).
A nuance of the word often overlooked in contemporary usage is that it refers to a man who, like the bird warming the cuckoo’s eggs, is unaware of his victimization. A man who knows and acquiesced, in his wife’s taking of another lover was called a wittol, itself a derivation from the Middle English for "witting (as in knowing) cuckold."
Cuckolds have sometimes been written as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns." This refers to the fact that the man being cuckolded is the last to know of his wife's infidelity.
He is wearing horns that can be seen by everybody but him. This also refers to a tradition claiming that in villages of unknown European location, the community would gather to collectively humiliate a man whose wife gives birth to a child recognizably not his own. According to this legend, a parade was held in which the hapless husband is forced to wear antlers on his head as a symbol of his wife’s infidelity. Whether this did actually happen or not is irrelevant to the phrase, which survived.
The authors define the term slut as "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you."
The term is reclaimed from its usual use as a pejorative and as a simple label for a promiscuous person. Instead, it is used to signify a person who is accepting of their enjoyment of sex and the pleasure of intimacy with others, and chooses to engage and accept these in an ethical and open way — rather than as cheating.
The Ethical Slut discusses how to live an active life with multiple concurrent sexual relationships in a fair and honest way. Discussion topics include how to deal with the practical difficulties and opportunities in finding and keeping partners, maintaining relationships with others, and strategies for personal growth.
It contains chapters discussing how consensual nonmonogamy is handled in different subcultures such as the gay and lesbian communities, information on handling scheduling, jealousy, communication, conflict in relationships, and etiquette for group sexual encounters.
Nonmonogamy is a blanket term covering several different types of interpersonal relationship in which some or all participants have multiple marital, sexual, and/or romantic partners. This can be contrasted with its opposite which is monogamy and yet may arise from the same Psychology of Monogamy.
Forms of nonmonogamy include:
consensual nonmonogamy, in which a nonmonogamous relationship is formed by mutual consent of those involved
casual relationship a physical and emotional relationship between two unmarried people who may have a sexual relationship
group marriage (also termed polygynandry), in which several people form a single family unit, with all considered to be married to one another
group sex and orgies involving more than two participants at the same time
infidelity, such as an affair, in which one participant fails to comply with expectations of a relationship.
Line families, a form of group marriage intended to outlive its original members by ongoing addition of new spouses
ménage à trios, a sexual (or sometimes domestic) arrangement involving three people
plural marriage, a form of polygyny associated with the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the 19th-century and with present-day splinter groups from that faith. It is also associated with an evangelical splinter group which advocates Christian Plural Marriage
polyamory, in which participants have multiple romantic partners
polyandry, in which women have multiple husbands
PolyFamilies, similar to group marriage, but some members may not consider themselves married to all other members
polyfidelity, in which participants have multiple partners but restrict sexual activity to within a certain group
polygamy, a term encompassing both polygyny and polyandry
polygyny, in which men have multiple wives
open marriage and open relationships, in which one or both members of a committed couple may become sexually active with other partners
swinging, similar to open relationships, but commonly conducted as an organized social activity
As can be seen from this list, the Greek prefix 'poly-' (meaning 'many') is often used in naming nonmonogamous forms of relationship. In informal use such names are sometimes abbreviated to just 'poly', with the rest indicated by context.
Many nonmonogamous terms are flexible in definition, because they are based on criteria such as 'relationship' or 'love' that are themselves variably defined; see discussions at their respective pages for more detail on individual forms. In addition, usage creates distinctions beyond the raw definitions of the words.
Thus, even though some relationships might technically be considered both polygamous and polyamorous, 'polygamy' usually signifies a codified form of multiple marriage, based on established religious teachings, while 'polyamory' is based on the preferences of the participants rather than social custom or established precedent.
Fornication, or simple fornication, is a term which refers to voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married to each other.
The origin of the word derives from Latin. The word for nix means "an archway" or "vault" (in Rome, prostitutes could be solicited there). More directly, fornicatio means "done in the archway"; thus a euphemism for prostitution.
Fornication is dealt with differently in various religions, societies and cultures.
Group sex may involve three or more people of any gender or sexual orientation. The events themselves may be characterized by sex; for example, a straight group sex session would involve only heterosexual sex. Some venues for group sex may be intended for a particular group or groups of people.
Different types of group sex may or may not involve switching partners. Some sex clubs, for example, require entrants to come in pairs and do not typically involve actual physical contact between people in different pairs. Group sex may involve a specific set of sexual activities; for example, some involve BDSM, while "vanilla" group sex does not.
In many cultures, public intercourse is considered taboo and is illegal (see indecent exposure); many groups also frown upon sex that is not monogamous. Group sex often takes place in private or clandestine locations, including homes, hotel rooms, unpopulated areas like forests, abandoned buildings, or private clubs. Sex clubs are often open to members only, while less formal locations (truck stops, wooded areas) may be semi-secret.
Group sex also sometimes takes place in nightclubs, bathhouses, massage parlors, or bars, although such places (particularly those frequented by sexual minorities such as gays or lesbians in countries intolerant of homosexuality are sometimes subject to legal repercussions. Group sex may be a part of other social activities such as parties, although some venues such as gay bathhouses tend to eschew talking.
The possibility for awkwardness among friends, significant others, or strangers at group sex is often cited as a problem with them, particularly in relatively spontaneous incidents of group sex such as drunken group sex among friends. Among heterosexuals, the relative availability of men and women is also a concern for participants, as social stigma or other factors structures the extent to which many men or women feel comfortable being promiscuous.
In spite of (or due to) the stigma against group sex, participation in group sex is a common fantasy, although regular participation in group sex remains uncommon in most cultures.
The incidence of monogamy refers to the frequency with which monogamy occurs.
This article deals with the incidence of monogamy in human beings.
A large majority of human beings around the world enter socially monogamous relationships at some point in their lives. Most people who enter socially monogamous relationships remain sexually monogamous for the duration of the relationship. However, the amount of sexual monogamy varies across cultures, and women tend to be more sexually monogamous than men. Genetic monogamy also varies across cultures.
Infidelity can be defined as any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, and is a breach of faith in an inter-personal relationship.
Sexual infidelity in marriage is sometimes called adultery, philandery or an affair and in other inter-personal relationships it is sometimes called cheating. A man whose wife has committed adultery is referred to as a cuckold, but no equivalent word exists for a woman whose partner has cheated.
Infidelity is not inherently sexual nature, although certain acts of infidelity could be sexual.
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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What constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures and depends also on the type of relationship that exists between people. Even within an open relationship, infidelity may arise if a partner to the relationship acts outside of the understood boundaries of the relationship.
A mistress is a man's long term female sexual partner and companion who is not married to him, especially used when the man is married to another woman.
The relationship is generally stable and at least semi-permanent; however, the couple do not live together openly. Also, the relationship is usually but not always secret, and there is the implication that a mistress may be "kept", i.e. that the man is paying for some of the woman's living expenses, or provides her with an allowance.
The term can also be used to describe the "other" companion in a female same-sex marriage. Likewise, a woman may be married to a man and have a mistress of her own.
Unlike a concubine, a mistress has no legal relationship to the man.
There is no specific word in English for a "male mistress", a man in the same relationship to a woman as a mistress is to a man, except for the more general term "lover", which does not carry the same implications.
"Paramour" is sometimes used, but this term can apply to either partner in an illicit relationship, so it is not exclusively male. In 18th- and 19th-century Venice the terms "cicisbeo" and "cavalier servente" were used to describe a man who was the professed gallant and lover of a married woman.
Historically, the term has denoted a kept woman, who was maintained in a comfortable (or even lavish) lifestyle by a wealthy man so that she will be available for his sexual pleasure. Such a woman could move between the roles of a mistress and a courtesan depending on her situation and environment. Today however, the word mistress is used primarily to refer to the female companion of a man who is married to another woman; in the case of an unmarried man it is usual to speak of a "girlfriend" or "partner."
Historically a man "kept" a mistress. As the term implies, he was responsible for her debts and provided for her in much the same way as he did his wife, although not legally bound to do so. In more recent and emancipated times, it is more likely that the mistress has a job of her own, and is less, if at all, financially dependent on the man.
A mistress is not a prostitute. While a mistress, if "kept", may essentially be exchanging sex for money, the principal difference is that a mistress keeps herself exclusively reserved for one man, in much the same way as a wife, and there is not so much of a direct quid pro quo between the money and the sex act. There is also usually an emotional and possibly social relationship between a man and his mistress, whereas the relationship to a prostitute is predominantly sexual.
Affinity · Attachment · Bonding · Boyfriend · Casual · Cohabitation · Compersion · Concubinage · Consort · Courtesan · Courtship · Divorce · Domestic partnership · Dower / Dowry / Bride price · Family · Friendship · Girlfriend · Husband · Infatuation · Intimacy · Jealousy · Limerence · Love · Marriage · Monogamy · Psychology of monogamy · Serial monogamy · Nonmonogamy · Passion · Pederasty · Platonic love · Polyamory · Polyfidelity · Polygamy · Relationship abuse · Relationship breakup · Romance · Romantic friendship · Separation · Sexuality · Same-sex relationship · Significant other · Soul mate · Teen dating violence · Wedding · Widowhood · Wife
Monica Lewinsky alleged nine sexual encounters with Bill Clinton:
November 15, 1995, in the private study off the Oval office
November 17, 1995, while Bill Clinton was on the phone with a member of Congress
December 31, 1995, in a White House study
January 7, 1996, in the Oval Office
January 21, 1996, in the hallway by the private study next to the Oval Office
February 4, 1996, while Clinton was meeting in Oval Office
March 31, 1996
February 28, 1997, near the Oval Office; this is when the blue dress stains were created
March 29, 1997 (Clinton denied that this day's encounter actually happened)
Hillary Rodham Clinton was in the White House on a half dozen days when her husband had sexual encounters with Monica Lewinsky, according to the first lady's calendars released Wednesday. A look at her schedule on days when Lewinsky said she had sexual encounters with Bill Clinton:
_Nov. 15, 1995: The first lady was in a mid-afternoon "meet & greet" photo opportunity at the White House with various Nobel Laureates and their families. That night, Lewinsky had what she later said was her first sexual encounter with the president in the private study off the Oval office.
_Nov. 17, 1995: Mrs. Clinton had no public schedule and was at the White House. That night, Lewinsky said she had a sexual encounter with the president while he was on the phone in the White House with a member of Congress.
_Dec. 31, 1995: Mrs. Clinton had no public schedule and her calendar does not show her location. That afternoon, Lewinsky said she and the president had a sexual encounter in a study in the White House.
_Jan. 7, 1996: On a Sunday afternoon, Lewinsky and the president spent most of the afternoon in the Oval Office. The first lady and the president had a small dinner with 20 people at "the Old Family Dining Room" at the White House.
_Jan. 21, 1996: The first lady had no public schedule, but she and the president privately toured an exhibit at the National Gallery of Art. Lewinsky and the president had an afternoon sexual encounter in the hallway by the private study next to the Oval Office, Lewinsky said later.
_Feb. 4, 1996: Mrs. Clinton and the president attended the National Governor's Association annual dinner. Lewinsky said she and the president that day had a sexual encounter and their first lengthy and personal conversation.
_March 31, 1996: Mrs. Clinton toured an archaeological site and museum in Delphi, Greece, and watched a folk dance performance. That day, Lewinsky said she and the president resumed their sexual contact.
_Feb. 28, 1997: The schedule shows Mrs. Clinton was in the White House at least part of the day, when President Clinton and Lewinsky had oral sex near the Oval Office, leaving stains on her dress. There were no public events, but the schedule shows Mrs. Clinton had "drop by" events or meetings in the Map Room and Diplomatic Reception Room between 11 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. The schedule also lists plays and a concert that night, but it is not clear whether Mrs. Clinton attended.
_March 29, 1997: On the day when Lewinsky told independent counsel Kenneth Starr that she had her final sexual encounter with the president, Mrs. Clinton was thousands of miles away in Eritrea. In his grand jury testimony, the president denied this encounter. The first lady that day toured the Martyrs' Cemetery in Eritrea, where she participated in a wreath-laying ceremony and a tree planting. She also visited a health care clinic, spoke to villagers, and toured a polio vaccination room. She visited a woodworking center, held a round-table discussion with the National Union of Eritrean Women and met the country's president.
An "emotional affair" is an affair excluding sexual intimacy but including emotional intimacy. It may be a type of chaste nonmonogamy, one without consummation. When the affair breaches a monogamous agreement with one or another spouse the term infidelity may be more apt. Infidelity tends to exclude one or both spouses of the affair's partners. Citing the absence of any sexual activity can neutralize the sense of extramarital wrongdoing by one or both partners of an emotional affair.
Emotional affairs can be portrayed in fictional writing or drama as life changing experiences (good or bad), subjects of racy romance stories that teeter on the edge. However, they can also be catastrophic for all concerned when it is clandestine, unsanctioned and unintentionally exposed.
Sometimes an emotional affair injures a committed relationship more than if it were a one night stand or about casual sex. The initial interpersonal attraction may have been the result of propinquity (physical or psychological proximity), physical attraction or a perceived lack of interpersonal chemistry in the primary relationship.
David Moultrup has broadly defined an extramarital affair as
a relationship between a person and someone other than (their) spouse (or lover) that has an impact on the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage. The role of an affair is to create emotional distance in the marriage. The critical principle to consider is the possibility of unconscious emotional benefits gained by the uninvolved spouse. The goal of therapy is to resolve the intimacy problems in the couple relationship so that an affair will no longer be 'needed.' This model does not consider the possibility of accidental affairs nor those that arise out of individual pathology or habit rather than relationship difficulties.
This viewpoint does not require sexual play or sexual intercourse in order to define the presence of nor the impact of an affair on a committed relationship. Moultrup is the author of 'Husbands, Wives & Lovers' and has contributed to 'The Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity'
Chaste and emotionally intimate affairs tend to be more common than sexually intimate affairs. Shirley Glass in her study, reported in 'Not Just Friends' 'that 44% of husbands and 57% of wives indicated that in their affair they had a strong emotional involvement to the other person without intercourse.'
In University of Chicago surveys conducted by NORC between 1990 and 2002, 27% of people who reported being happy in marriage admitted to having an extramarital affair. What infidelity means depends on who you ask and the statistics are of course,
misleading. Sexual feelings in an emotional affair are necessarily denied in order to maintain the illusion that it is just a special friendship. Affair surveys are unlikely to explore what is denied. Many people in affair surveys are not honest with themselves nor with the interviewer .
On the romantic friendship page there are a number of 'special friendships' in popular culture. Each is an example of one form of human bonding or another. Some can be distinguished from emotional affairs by the absence of an apparent third party or spouse. Each may be synonymous with platonic love or spiritual friendship. Some may exist alongside or in support of a spiritual marriage, a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience. Any of those terms may just be a cover for what is hidden from public gaze.
This type of affair is often characterized by:
Inappropriate emotional intimacy. The partner being unfaithful may spend inappropriate or excessive time with someone of the opposite or same gender (time not shared with the faithful partner). He or she may confide more in their new “friend” than in their partner and may share more intimate emotional feelings and secrets with their new partner than with their existing spouse. Any time that an individual invests more emotionally into a relationship with someone besides their partner the existing partnership may suffer.
Deception and secrecy. Those involved may not tell their partners about the amount of time they spend with each other. An individual involved in this type of affair may, for example, tell his or her spouse that they are doing other activities when they are really meeting with someone else. Or the unfaithful spouse may exclude any mention of the other person while discussing the day’s activities to conceal the rendezvous. Even if no physical intimacy occurs, the deception clearly shows that those involved believe they are doing something wrong that undermines the existing relationship. In other words, if there was really no harm in meeting with a friend, both parties would feel comfortable telling their partners the truth about where they are meeting and what they are discussing.
An emotional triangle. One that may only be known to the unfaithful, who then struggles to keep the other two from knowing of the impact of one upon the other. Denial will likely characterize the unfaithful person's response to an invitation by their spouse to reflect on the competing demands of the relationship with the other person.
Sexual and emotional chemistry. Emotional affairs may not always lead to physical intimacy, but some do. The time between the first meeting and a first kiss can often be very lengthy, but the time between the first kiss and sexual intercourse may be very short. In most of these affairs, however, an unspoken attraction exists. A partner may spend extra time getting ready before seeing this "friend" or may buy new clothing or change their appearance in order to seem attractive to them. They may obsess anticipating phone calls, emails or text messages.
Denial. Denial of the presence of sexual behavior, sexuality or even of an atom of limerence. "Limerence is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person. It is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual." This denial can be exhibited by the cheating partner and/or the partner being cheated on, especially if the partner cheated on is male. If the cheating partner accepts that the element of sexual attraction exists, however, and physical contact starts, it can cause the current relationship to start collapsing.
Betrayal. There is an implicit betrayal of values, believed to have been shared, about the sanctity of a relationship based on love, of the idea of a soul mate and of being faithful to fundamental agreements underlying intimacy, that are perceived by the spouse not involved in the affair to be a core of their committed relationship and world view.
A one-night stand is originally a single night theatre performance (usually a guest group on tour), and today more commonly also a single sexual encounter between individuals, where neither individual has any immediate intention or expectation of establishing a longer-term sexual or romantic relationship.
The individuals participating in a one-night stand typically have not known each other long and have had minimal time to get to know each other before engaging in sexual activity. A one-night sexual encounter is not necessarily always a one-night stand; the crucial distinction is the expectation or intention that the relationship will not necessarily be extended beyond the initial sexual encounter. A one-night stand is differentiated from prostitution, as it takes place without direct payment of money and from a casual relationship, which may not initially involve sex and may continue long-term. The term came from the expression one night stand, used for a touring theatrical company who would make a single performance in one locale before moving on to the next engagement, and to a place where such a performance was given.
During sex females get such a strong dose of oxytocin that "when women think they can have sex and walk away just like guys do, they're having to suppress thousands of years of evolution that tells them to cuddle, stay in bed, and look forward to tomorrow. When they get up and walk out, they feel depressed and don't know why."
Researchers have found that women's feelings after one night stands are much more negative than men's. Feeling 'used' was the predominant negative emotion they felt the next morning and they also worried about their reputations and felt as if they had let themselves down. Professor Anne Campbell from Durham University said "What the women seemed to object to was not the briefness of the encounter but the fact that the man did not seem to appreciate her. The women thought this lack of gratitude implied that she did this with anybody."
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
Free Ebook PDF DownLoad
A one-night stand can be thought of as an irregular and unplanned sexual encounter between individuals. The participants will usually have little or no contact with one another aside from sex. Thus it is possible to have multiple one-night stands with the same person, provided that there is no regularity to the encounters or planning involved in the encounters. However, where the people involved have a regular sexual relationship without romantic involvement, this is generally considered a casual relationship (also referred to using terms such as "no strings attached"/NSA, "fuck buddies", or "friends with benefits"/FWB), and is generally considered distinct from the one-night stand phenomenon.
The risks of participating in one-night stands can include the risks of having unprotected sex, such as unwanted pregnancy or contraction of STDs. Effective use of contraceptive devices can help combat STDs
Men are more likely to reproduce and therefore to benefit from numerous short-term partners. For women, however, quality seems to be more important than quantity. Also for women, finding partners of high genetic quality is a stronger motivator than sheer number, and it is commonly believed that women are more willing to have casual sex when there is a chance of forming a long-term relationship.
As Professor Campbell explained: “In evolutionary terms women bear the brunt of parental care and it has been generally thought that it was to their advantage to choose their mate carefully and remain faithful to make sure that their mate had no reason to believe he was raising another man’s child. But recently biologists have suggested that females could benefit from mating with many men—it would increase the genetic diversity of their children and, if a high quality man would not stay with them forever, they might at least get his excellent genes for their child.”
Professor Campbell looked at whether women have adapted to casual sex by examining their feelings following a one-night stand. If women have adapted, then although they may take part in casual sex less often than men because of their stricter criteria when selecting partners, they should rate the experience positively. To test the theory, a total of 1743 men and women who had experienced a one-night stand were asked to rate both their positive and negative feelings the following morning, in an internet survey.
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
Free Ebook PDF DownLoad
Prof Campbell added: “Evolution often acts through positive or negative emotions which draw us towards adaptive behaviors or drives us away from harmful ones. For example, we enjoy other people’s company but get depressed if we spend too much time alone. Basic emotions guide us down pathways that have been advantageous for our ancestors. It seemed obvious that if our female ancestors really were adapted to short–term relationships they ought to enjoy them, just like men do.”
Overall women’s feelings were more negative than men’s. Eighty per cent of men had overall positive feelings about the experience compared to 54 per cent of women. Men were more likely than women to secretly want their friends to hear about it and to feel successful because the partner was desirable to others. Men also reported greater sexual satisfaction and contentment following the event, as well as a greater sense of well-being and confidence about themselves.
The predominant negative feeling reported by women was regret at having been “used”. Women were also more likely to feel that they had let themselves down and were worried about the potential damage to their reputation if other people found out. Women found the experience less sexually satisfying and, contrary to popular belief, they did not seem to view taking part in casual sex as a prelude to long-term relationships.
“What the women seemed to object to was not the briefness of the encounter but the fact that the man did not seem to appreciate her. The women thought this lack of gratitude implied that she did this with anybody,” Professor Campbell explained.
According to Professor Campbell, although women do not rate casual sex positively, the reason they still take part in it may be due to the menstrual cycle changes influencing their sexual motivation. Indeed, during the ovulatory phase (between days 10 to 18 of their cycle), women report increased sexual desire and arousal, with a preference for short-term partners.
The term human bond—or, more generally, human bonding—refers to the process or formation of a close personal relationship, as between a parent and child, especially through frequent or constant association.
When pairs have favorable bonds, the nature of this bonding is usually attributed to "good" interpersonal chemistry. The word bond derives from the 12th century Middle English word band, meaning something that binds, ties, or restrains. Its application to interpersonal human relationships has been used intermittently ever since.
The term social network or "interconnected group of people", which may include up to 150 people (Dunbar's number), is from 1947.
The concept of nuclear family or bonded unit of two parents plus one or more children was coined by American anthropologist George Murdock in his 1949 work Social Structure.
According to Merriam-Webster, the application of the term “bonding” to interpersonal relationships came of use in 1976. With the recent popularity of the Internet, sites such as My Space encourage people to increase the size of their friendship networks Academic dishonesty Betrayal Communications deception Confidence trick Doctrine of mental reservation Electronic deception Forgery Fraud Good cop/bad cop Half-truth Hoax Lie Limited hangout List of topics related to public relations and propaganda Media manipulation Media transparency Military deception Misdirection Modified limited hangout Newspeak Phishing Placebo (origins of technical term) Plagiarism Propaganda Psychological warfare Secrecy Selectivity Spectacle Spin (public relations) Sting operation Theft Act 1968 Theft Act 1978 Simulated reality Steganography Social engineering Swampland in Florida
Marriage is a personal union of individuals. This union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the married status created is sometimes called wedlock.
Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships (usually intimate and sexual) are acknowledged by the state or by religious authority. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction. If recognized by the state, by the religion(s) to which the parties belong or by society in general, the act of marriage changes the personal and social status of the individuals who enter into it.
People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship.
Marriage may take many forms: for example, a union between one man and one woman as husband and wife is a monogamous heterosexual marriage; polygamy — in which a person takes more than one spouse — is common in many societies;
. Recently, some jurisdictions and denominations have begun to recognize same-sex marriage, uniting people of the same sex.
A marriage is often formalized during a marriage ceremony,
which may be performed either by a religious officiant, by a secular State authorized officiator, or (in weddings that have no church or state affiliation) by a trusted friend of the wedding participants.
The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved and, in many societies, their extended families.
Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declares that
"Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution. Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses."
The Cairo Declaration on Human Rights in Islam gives men and women the "right to marriage" regardless of their race, color or nationality, but not religion.
A marriage, by definition, bestows rights and obligations on the married parties, and sometimes on relatives as well, being the sole mechanism for the creation of affinal ties (in-laws). These may include:
giving a husband/wife or his/her family control over a spouse’s sexual services, labor, and property.
giving a husband/wife responsibility for a spouse’s debts.
giving a husband/wife visitation rights when his/her spouse is incarcerated or hospitalized.
giving a husband/wife control over his/her spouse’s affairs when the spouse is incapacitated.
establishing the second legal guardian of a parent’s child.
establishing a joint fund of property for the benefit of children.
establishing a relationship between the families of the spouses.
These rights and obligations vary considerably between societies, and between groups within society.
PeopleNology Copyrighted 09/2008
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute
Powerful Human Development
GregoryBodenhamer@Live.com
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